Men Vs. Women

Who am I · 05-01-2008, 10:20 PM

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Boanerges · 05-01-2008, 10:31 PM

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

smellycat · 05-01-2008, 10:36 PM

i disagree the only divide is spiritual not sexual.

NearertoGod · 05-02-2008, 12:04 AM

Quote:

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

LOL

dermasse · 05-02-2008, 12:49 AM

I only have 5 things in the bathroom. When I wash my face with soap, I shave while the soap is still there instead of using shaving cream.

Also I will get change back! I'm too cheap, as you might have discerned by my use of soap as shaving cream.

Dusty · 05-02-2008, 02:30 PM

Whirlwind · 05-02-2008, 04:00 PM

Me too!

(I love cats!

)

Jon-Marc · 05-02-2008, 07:10 PM

I dislike cats and don't mind saying so to anyone. I can barely tolerate them. I agree with everything else.

Fluffy · 05-02-2008, 07:27 PM

Ramsey · 07-03-2008, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Who am I

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

That's just so funny LOL, the word used to describe how women wake up. They "deteriorate" somehow LOOOL!!

They're all funny though

God bless

05-01-2008, 10:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
Who am I Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Minnesota Posts: 1,254 Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 2	Men Vs. Women NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing. __________________ Blessings to all Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

05-01-2008, 10:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
Boanerges Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: St Rose LA Posts: 16,667 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 18	THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing. __________________ "If you would test the character of anything, you only need to enquire whether that thing leads you to God or away from God." Watchman Nee

05-01-2008, 10:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
smellycat Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: uk Posts: 5,503 Rep Power: 7	i disagree the only divide is spiritual not sexual. __________________ GOOD BAD SALVATION

05-02-2008, 12:49 AM	#5 (permalink)
dermasse Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Midwest Posts: 42 Rep Power: 0	I only have 5 things in the bathroom. When I wash my face with soap, I shave while the soap is still there instead of using shaving cream. Also I will get change back! I'm too cheap, as you might have discerned by my use of soap as shaving cream. __________________ Credo Ut Intelligam

05-02-2008, 02:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
Dusty Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Toronto Posts: 6,431 Rep Power: 7	__________________ Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. -- John Wooden Joke Police.. Mark and Amandaz

05-02-2008, 04:00 PM	#7 (permalink)
Whirlwind Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Central Oregon Posts: 2,931 Rep Power: 3	Me too! (I love cats!) __________________ Chapter-by-Chapter, verse-by-verse. Jesus is the Living Word.

05-02-2008, 07:10 PM	#8 (permalink)
Jon-Marc Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Hudson, FL Posts: 411 Rep Power: 1	I dislike cats and don't mind saying so to anyone. I can barely tolerate them. I agree with everything else.

05-02-2008, 07:27 PM	#9 (permalink)
Fluffy Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 1,810 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 2	__________________ Be transparent before God, He sees right thru you, anyway! http://www.likepreciousfaith.org/testimony_val.htm Please pray for your local emergency responders, daily.

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