Who am I

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...


Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!!!!


"Don't Mess With Old Ladies"

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Blessings to all

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD,
thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Boanerges

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“Neither skill nor knowledge is needed to go to God, all that is necessary is a heart dedicated entirely and solely to Him out of love for Him above all others.”
Brother Lawrence

Mark_18

AAAAhahahahha!

This is good. Thanks.

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Luke 15:31 - And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.
Joel 2:28 - I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.
Matthew 7:7 - Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Psalms 126:5 - Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

JOKE POLICE

GrannyG

Hmmmm..... I don't this little old lady would have the gall to try to pull that one. It's really funny, though.

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