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| Humor Jokes and Humor. |
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#1 | ||
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------------------------------------------------- #1 You're at a wedding for your friend. Suddenly, a car comes flying out of the trees beside the altar! What do you do? a. - Scream, jump over a couple of people as the car plows over the chairs. Oops, my heel must have hit someone...what the heck! My life is more important! Ah! b. - Sit there and have a bag of extra-buttery popcorn materialize in your lap as you watch hundreds of crazy women and men in suits and four-inch heels do Matrix moves as a out-of-control, unmanned car chases after them. c. - Be the smart one and call 9-1-1, or disengage the car. :3 #2 Some 86-year-old women hits you're brand new Toyota Camry and puts a hug dent in the side! What do you do? a. - When the old lady is out to go to the store, get in her car and hide it at Toys 'R Us! >8D b - Get some Kool-Aid the RED version, mix it up, and pour it all over the seats until they are so red that it'll take 1 BILLION years just to get the stain out. c. - Calm her down, tell her everything is O.K., check to see how much damage was inflicted, and call your insurance agency or just keep going. #3 You're at home, alone, and your oven starts talking to you...what do you do? a. - Rip it out the wall and throw it back up at Home Depot. Must be the IRS again *sighs*. b. - Talk to it. Hey, actually, my oven has better sense than a counselor. c. - Blink, pinch yourself, and realize it was just to much caffeine. #4 You see a wad of $5,000 on the ground. What do you do? a. - Snatch it. Oh yeah...w00t! FINDER'S KEEPERS! b. - Stash it in your secret vault in the closet. Never know when you may need it. >_>; c. - Take it to the bank. Maybe someone will come back later for it.
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As a Helper at CFS I am here to assist the members. I will try to help you as best as possible so please do not hesitate to come to me with any questions or concerns you may have. Jesus came here not condemn, but to save. Nature is God's gift to us. He loves it as much as He loves us, and we should give respect to Nature because believe it or not - it takes care of me and you more than you know. |
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#2 | ||
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1. I choose D. Throw random guests at the car in an attempt to slow it's movement before it hits the gifts.
2. How old? Like Senior Citizen old, or just older than me. Meh, who am I kidding, I'd totally stab her in the eye, unless she was kinda younger old and maybe cute, or a redhead. 3. Again? First the toaster, then the recliner, now this. I swear, this time it better not tell me to go to another one of those special parties. I'm still getting sued for the last one... Rooster: Seriously dood, your head is getting more and more crowded every day. 4. What $5,000? All I see is my brand new motorcycle.
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#3 | |||
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Quote:
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As a Helper at CFS I am here to assist the members. I will try to help you as best as possible so please do not hesitate to come to me with any questions or concerns you may have. Jesus came here not condemn, but to save. Nature is God's gift to us. He loves it as much as He loves us, and we should give respect to Nature because believe it or not - it takes care of me and you more than you know. |
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#4 | ||||||
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Senior Member
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I ask the guy next to me, “What the heck is Boss Hog doing driving the General Lee?” Quote:
I call my friend and apologize for doubting him when he told me you can get a drivers license from a gumball machine. Quote:
I say, “Don’t interrupt me… I’m talking with the toaster” Quote:
I’m not touching it… there are a lot of germs on cash. Now if it were a credit card… It would be fairly easy to clean.
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Blessings to all Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Last edited by Who am I; 03-22-2008 at 07:32 AM. Reason: fix quotes |
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#5 | |||
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Quote:
__________________
As a Helper at CFS I am here to assist the members. I will try to help you as best as possible so please do not hesitate to come to me with any questions or concerns you may have. Jesus came here not condemn, but to save. Nature is God's gift to us. He loves it as much as He loves us, and we should give respect to Nature because believe it or not - it takes care of me and you more than you know. |
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