KIds Say the Funniest Things

Dusty · 02-18-2008, 12:36 AM

What is Butt Dust?
What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it!
These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!

JACK(age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.
After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't
remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN(age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY(age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ(age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC(age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON(age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was wit h her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

- - - -
The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget....
This particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust..."
He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four- year old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

Whirlwind · 02-19-2008, 05:39 PM

BUTT DUST!!! LOL

Reminds me: My mom raises her grandchildren as her own. One time we were in a restaurant and my nephew was reading some tabloids mom just bought. In it, Michael Jackson was accused of abusing his pet chimp Bubbles.

So loudly that some of the other people in the restaurant tuuuuurned to look, my nephew screamed: "Grammy! Michael Jackson got caught spanking his monkey!"

Psalm91 · 02-19-2008, 08:04 PM

baaaad_kitty · 02-20-2008, 03:06 PM

LOL! thanks for that! gave me a good laugh

KitsapGirl · 02-20-2008, 04:36 PM

The one about feeding the baby reminds me of what my son called them when he was 2.

Chest Buttons!

Why not? We call the navel a Belly Button!

youassassin · 02-20-2008, 04:56 PM

ha
nice

Dusty · 02-20-2008, 09:18 PM

Cute Kitsapgirl..... Glad you all enjoyed them all they are so cute when kids are so innocent.

Whirlwind · 03-03-2008, 09:16 PM

Hilarious ones I found while reading...(not my own):

My 5 year old daughter and I were both getting ready together in the bathroom, and I sat down on the toilet to go (no details). She was kind of next to/behind me on a stool, and all of a sudden stopped mid sentence. I heard a gasp, and then she said, "Mom! Your behind fits on that whole thing??!!"

Mike Gates - AdoptionClicks.com said...
When our little Hannah was 3-4, one of her favorite places to go was Chucky Cheese. Hannah also loved learning about Jesus. So, I guess it shouldn't be a surprise when she wanted to go to Chucky Jesus for pizza and play.

This morning my 3yr old son and I ran into the store.
He said,"Mom, it sure is windy out."
I said, "Why , yes it is."
He said," I sure am going to miss you when the wind blows me away."

This is some years ago... we where celebrating New Year at my fathers house.
I think my daughter was about 5 years old at the time.
we where sitting at the table having new years dinner and the she said: "Mom!!! I think God will be very happy today!". I laught and said:"why do you think that?" And she said: Cause we are sending him a lot of fireworks tonight!"

my daughter rachel was asked once "did you sit on santa's lap?" and she thought for a moment and then said , "No I sat on his knees." lol

Our oldest was just 5 and at that stage where he couldn't concentrate for long on anything. Dad had asked him to tidy the toys away in his bedroom before we were due to go out. Some time later dad walked in and found him happily playing. Dad was annoyed and asked "What have you been doing - I asked you to put your toys away" a very flustered little boy jumped up and said "I have obviously been doing something - I just can't remember what!"

— Boy, 5

I had stories in my eyes last night!

— Girl, 4

Whirlwind's nephew (now 14 - was about 5 when his leg had fallen asleep): Gramma, my leg has dots all over it!

Banarenth · 03-03-2008, 09:34 PM

My son was JUST old enough to start talking and asking for things. Of course, he wasn't really old enough to understand everything yet, so we felt that it was ok to have a PG-rated conversation. Nothing too bad, but the word "sex" was spoken.

I almost drove off the road when my son perked up all of a sudden and said: "Sex? What's sex? I want sex! Gimme Sex!!!" >.<

Moments like that...yeah, nuff said....

risingsun · 10-10-2008, 02:02 AM

Years ago when my 18 year old son was in kindergarten, he woke one day with a case of the chickenpox. It was later that day when I was reading him a story, he stopped me and asked,

"Mommy, why did I get the chickenpox?....I didn't even touch a chicken."

I had all I could do from breaking out in a burst of laughter.

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