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| Humor Jokes and Humor. |
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#1 | ||
![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Nr London
Posts: 1,283
Rep Power: 3 ![]() |
An internet friend of mine sent these, apologies if you've seen them, but I enjoyed them!
~Life is short, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. ~ Don't let your worries get the > > Best of you; remember, Moses started > > Out as a basket case. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > Some people are kind, polite, and > > Sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews. > > > > &n bsp; *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > Many folks want to serve God, > > But only as advisors. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > It is easier to preach ten sermons > > Than it is to live one. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > The good Lord didn't create anything > > Without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close. > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > When you get to your wit's end, > > You'll find God lives there. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > People are funny; they want the front > > Of the bus, the middle of the road, and > > The back of the church. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > Opportunity may knock once, but temptation > > Bangs on your front door forever. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > Quit griping about your church; > > If it was perfect, you couldn't belong. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > If the church wants a better pastor, > > It only needs to pray for the one it has. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > God Himself does not propose to judge > > A man until he is dead. So why should you? > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > Some minds are like concrete- > > Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > Peace starts with a smile. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > I don't know why some people > > Change churches; what difference does > > > > It make which one you stay home from? > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > A lot of church members who are singing > > > > "Standing on the Promises" > > > > Are just sitting on the premises. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > W e were called to be witnesses, > > > > Not lawyers or judges. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > Be ye fishers of men. You catch Them - > > > > He'll clean them. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > Coincidence is when God > > > > Chooses to remain anonymous. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > Don't put a question mark > > > > Where God put a period. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > Don't wait for 6 strong men > > > > To take you to church. > > > ; > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > Forbidden fruits create many jams. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > God doesn't call the qualified, > > > > He qualifies the called. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > God grades on the cross, not the curve. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > God loves everyone, but > > > > probably prefers > > "fruits of the spirit" over > > > > "religious nuts!" > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > God promises a safe landing, > > > > Not a calm passage. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > He who angers you, controls you! > > > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats! > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > Prayer: > > > > Don't give God instructions -- > > > > just report for duty! > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > The task ahead of us is never as > > Great as the Power behind us. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > The Will of God never takes you to > > Where the Grace of God will not protect you. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > We don't change the message, > > > > The message changes us. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > You can tell how big a person is > > > > By what it takes to discourage him. > > > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* > > > > The best mathematical equation > > > > I have ever seen: > > 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given. > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* |
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#3 | ||
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: West
Posts: 1,438
Rep Power: 3 ![]() |
LOl LOL LOL Thanx Jax, You started my morning off right...
![]() Violet where did you get that picture of me ? Red jammies and everything, except I dye my gray hair Sagria color...
__________________
Shalom ( SHALOM says: Completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord. ) Beloved 1 Corinthians 14:1 Let Love be your highest goal. |
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#5 | ||
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Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Central Oregon
Posts: 3,220
Rep Power: 5 ![]() |
Jax - that was great!!!
Had me cracking up and saying "Yeah!" over and over again. People probably thought I was crazy!
__________________
Chapter-by-Chapter, verse-by-verse. ![]() Jesus is the Living Word. |
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#6 | ||
![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 10,076
Rep Power: 12 ![]() |
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__________________
Trials prove a Christian Love confirms a Christian But death crowns a Christian |
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