To What Extent To Help My Brother

Today, I come here to vent and ask for forgiveness. Forgive me Father for the hate and sinful actions I feel towards my brother. I'm sorry.

Here's what happened. (Please bear with me as I'm typing out of frustration. Part of me also wants justification for my actions and sympathy for my situation.)

I'm going crazy. My Dad has just came to me detailing his financial fit. He will be out of job for the next 6 months as he is going on for a certificate course. He is having trouble paying the remaining $45k loan on his car. He needs the car. Two options - me with almost enough cash to pay the outstanding loan. Or my brother who can sell his car to pay off the loan. The result, me giving up all my savings to pay the loan.

Sure, there comes the question of equality as to why my brother can't do it. Consider please - he isn't paying the maintenance of his car, his life doesn't have the need for the car (does he need to drive to an office which isn't there), he has already squandered tens of thousands the last few years on his failed ventures. He doesn't offer to sell his car.

Me, the one left dejected. Losing all my savings for my future home to cover a debt which wouldn't be there if my brother actually done something with his life not even mentioning the money invested in him is probably twice that of mine.

I'm working both day and night (I now on some part time work at night) saving for my future and trying to provide for my Dad. My Dad is going back to school so he can get a job. My Mom is still dragging herself out of bed and to the office.

My brother. He turned down that $35k annual factory job. He quit his part time job. He doesn't give lifts for my Mom during the weekends. He doesn't help in getting groceries for the house. He doesn't think of saving by perhaps cooking frozen food. And he still has the decency to ask my Mom for money for parking, fuel, road tax for his car that would be gone if I hadn't be the filial son and helped with the family.

I am officially losing my mind. And I'm this close to treating my brother as someone who doesn't exist. At times, I want to try. I really want to. To help him. But the more I think of the chances he had AND the more I know I won't be able to carry this heavy load when I see him, the more I think it's best I just give up all hope on him.

I sure hope him turning down AN OPPORTUNITY TO HELP and deciding on carrying on his ways is enough reason for me to stay away from him FOR my sanity.

Forgive Father for I have sinned.
Don't hate your brother, but don't be a mat for him to wipe his sin on.
The first point of helping anyone should be advice, if they won't take advice then why prop up their failure?
I had a cousin get a 100 dollar loan for two weeks at 48% interest, I found out because they gave my name as contact to the loan company,
who then rang me to find out how they could get hold of the loan defaulter.
I'm willing to give to a point to help out someone but if they are only digging a deeper hole, WHY?
Its not love, its dumbness. Christ came to set me free, not enslave me to the sin of others.
The extent of your help should be 10% to 25% of your free cash, then shut the door. That's both reasonable and generous.
in my opinion, but I know how difficult family can be, you want to love em .
IF there is NO GOD, then why pray?
WHY ask AIR,
I tell you there is a GOD who cares and sees,
but we as people are bone lazy when it comes to seeking Him or repenting or going to church or anything,
they we say, "oh poor me, why don't god help me."
did anything I say help.
Imagine two futures: 1. you pour out all your money into your dad and brother and in five years you are exactly nowhere, and neither are they.
or 2. you establish yourself, let them sink, then in five years you can help someone who has learned a lesson or two.
Owning your own house sets you up for prosperity.
I worked at one job for 30 years,
a cousin of mine was on welfare and government handouts for 25 years, he don't want to change.
 
There is charity, which is given without any expectation of a return.
And then there is wage, which is given with an expectation of a return (i.e. labor for the wage earned).

Charity if for those that do have the means to care for themselves. Such as for one handicapped that is physically or mentally unable to perform labor. Or one that can and does work, but do not receive a wage big enough to take care of their basic needs.
They would need some charity to help them out.

Your brother sounds like an able bodied man. So he doesn't qualify for charity.
What he is qualified for is a wage.

Perhaps you could suggest that you would help by paying him a wage (a wage based on his labor of doing quite a bit around the household). No labor, no wage paid.

In that way, you could be seen as one that offers help, while at the same time making him act responsible (which seems to be the two things you want - to help and also make him be responsible).
 
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