Im not so much different to you, I am a 49 yr old single father with a 20yr old son (21 end of Jan)I raised him on my own since he was 3 and a half years old against the wishes of my ex motherinlaw who believed i could never do it alone. I proved her wrong.
Best part of my life was bringing him up. Last year he moved out, living with his cousins. We were so close it was like losing a part of me, felt strange for a few weeks. we still keep in close contact, he came over for dinner last week.
Welcome to the boards.
Hey,
I am 22 years old and being German I grew up in Germany with my mom, my dad and my two brothers. When I was 16 I first moved into my own apartment. I feel like that could have been very hard for my parents (especially as they got divorced right before that and probably felt lonely and unloved). It was still a step I had to go in my life in order to become responsible for myself. Then I met the man that I later married. That was about a year and a half ago. We lived together in the USA for 3 months and I afterwards we moved to Norway where we now both have jobs. I know that my mom and also my dad often worried about me in the beginning. They often worried if I could make it all alone in a big world, but they saw that I did and they saw how much I learned from living by myself in the beginning and also from getting married to my wonderful husband.
I never believed in God before, but when I met my father in law for the first time, we often had long long conversations on why I can't believe and why they won't make me believe as I just don't understand why they do. But I opened my heart for the love that he felt from god and I started to think that maybe, even though I can't understand it, there might be something that I'm missing out on. And then I suddenly felt an incredible blue light hand that kind of grabbed my arm (I know its weird to say you FEEL a colour...but its so hard to explain what it was) and then I felt an incredible warm light inside me and undescribable happyness that I never knew even existed. It was like emptyness was filled up with something wonderful. I felt like a baby in a mothers womb, helpless but totally protected and in total peace. It was the most wonderful and most confusing thing that ever happened to me. Afterwards I was shaking for at least a few hours. But then things made sense. Then you understand what people tried to explain to you so often before. I had to believe in order to understand, not understand in order to believe. Therefor I think that nobody but God can make you believe, but what you and others around you can do is to help you open the doors to your heart and god will gladly enter.
My father in law did this for me and if I hadn't moved out, I hadnt moved to the US and afterwards Norway and I hadnt met my husband and I hadnt gotten married to him which means that I would have never met my father in law and then I would probably still not know what I have been missing out on all those years of walking in the dark.
What I'm trying to say is: one day your children will go their own way and it will be great for them. they will learn, make experiences, take their own life in their own hands, think for themselves, use their possibilities to be a productive part of this world.
I know that my parents take comfort in knowing that I am happy. That gives my mom strengh every time she misses me. I stay in good contact with my family and I try to call and visit as often as I can (Germany is not THAT far from Norway
). After a year or two it will get easier and you will get used to your son living away. You will see that he also misses you and that he often enough will feel the need to give you a call or a visit. It will help and you will see that he will make you proud
Khalil Gibran: On Children
"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable."