I'm a 21 year old living at home because thus far, I've struggled to find a biblical, correct way of leaving. As of right now, I cannot decide if my staying is right either... if staying in an environment that makes it easier for me to go backward (in all areas of life) is wrong.. or if leaving would be giving up simply because things are hard.
Here's the situation: [Let me say first off that I mean no disrespect against anyone in my home. I love them all very much - that's one reason this is so incredibly difficult.]
For the past two years, their has been no spiritual leader in our home. My father has been out of work since his back surgery, and for reasons I couldn't share if I wanted to (for I don't know them), has not made any visible effort to get a steady job, or even a hobby. Any elaboration on that would be mere speculation on my part.
In the past two years, he has not attended church, a bible study, anything that I would believe would help him. There's been no family orientation whatsoever, at least not the way there once was. He is literally in bed sleeping or in bed watching television at least 20 (twenty) hours a day, most of the time more.
Earlier last year, something extreme happened that I thought would have woken him up. It hasn't seemed to at all.
Both of my parents are currently on either depression or anxiety medication and alcohol is regularly brought into the house when it wasn't before. This hurts badly when I feel like, despite their knowing what to do, my father especially - it's not done as God would have it done. Nothing about my family dynamic is biblical. Nothing...
And yet I'm convinced he would insist that it is, or at least, admit it's not but do nothing about it. (I know this from experience.)
Prayer would be a first piece of advice, I'm sure. As it definitely should be. It's just that I do pray and I have for years. Consistently, passionately. I've sought the Lord so much and I still know He's bigger than this. There's hope. I just - don't know what to do when I feel constantly roped into wanting to give up. There is a cycle of depression and hopelessness in this house that is humiliating.
I'm struggling, badly.
Honestly - I would be out by now if it were not for my younger siblings who I see growing up in an environment I never had to deal with that young and - I love them. I'm so attached to them. I ache for what they have to live with without knowing any alternative. I would NOT be able to STAND being apart from them. And I seriously fear that if I left, all ties to them would be deliberately cut off. That in itself is what turns this situation from dreary to excruciating and agonizing... It's what has me in physical pain from crying the last couple hours.
What I'm asking for is this:
Prayer.
Input from experience or sincere wisdom.
And biblical advice. Please, please, please back up anything offered with scripture. I've had it up to my eyebrows with advice and opinions that are simply that - opinions. I want advice structured on God's Word. I need it...
Thank you so much to anyone who's read this and will pray and/or reply.
Here's the situation: [Let me say first off that I mean no disrespect against anyone in my home. I love them all very much - that's one reason this is so incredibly difficult.]
For the past two years, their has been no spiritual leader in our home. My father has been out of work since his back surgery, and for reasons I couldn't share if I wanted to (for I don't know them), has not made any visible effort to get a steady job, or even a hobby. Any elaboration on that would be mere speculation on my part.
In the past two years, he has not attended church, a bible study, anything that I would believe would help him. There's been no family orientation whatsoever, at least not the way there once was. He is literally in bed sleeping or in bed watching television at least 20 (twenty) hours a day, most of the time more.
Earlier last year, something extreme happened that I thought would have woken him up. It hasn't seemed to at all.
Both of my parents are currently on either depression or anxiety medication and alcohol is regularly brought into the house when it wasn't before. This hurts badly when I feel like, despite their knowing what to do, my father especially - it's not done as God would have it done. Nothing about my family dynamic is biblical. Nothing...
And yet I'm convinced he would insist that it is, or at least, admit it's not but do nothing about it. (I know this from experience.)
Prayer would be a first piece of advice, I'm sure. As it definitely should be. It's just that I do pray and I have for years. Consistently, passionately. I've sought the Lord so much and I still know He's bigger than this. There's hope. I just - don't know what to do when I feel constantly roped into wanting to give up. There is a cycle of depression and hopelessness in this house that is humiliating.
I'm struggling, badly.
Honestly - I would be out by now if it were not for my younger siblings who I see growing up in an environment I never had to deal with that young and - I love them. I'm so attached to them. I ache for what they have to live with without knowing any alternative. I would NOT be able to STAND being apart from them. And I seriously fear that if I left, all ties to them would be deliberately cut off. That in itself is what turns this situation from dreary to excruciating and agonizing... It's what has me in physical pain from crying the last couple hours.
What I'm asking for is this:
Prayer.
Input from experience or sincere wisdom.
And biblical advice. Please, please, please back up anything offered with scripture. I've had it up to my eyebrows with advice and opinions that are simply that - opinions. I want advice structured on God's Word. I need it...
Thank you so much to anyone who's read this and will pray and/or reply.