Jax

Why do parents feel they will harm their kids by 'making ' them go to church?
We 'make' them go to school, we know most kids arent too keen on that, but we dont think we're damaging them doing that?
We make them shower and eat healthily too!
I suggest this is a lie from the enemy, 'if you force them they will rebel!'
Rubbish.
It is our resposibility to make sure we go to a church where the Gospel is preached and lived out, the rest is down to God.
Can I suggest that those that say, 'I hate church, I was forced to go' etc etc, are actually hiding behind that,
because it stops them having to face their own sin and mortality?

wingnut

Good points Jax

There is a tendency to not want to force kids to do anything these days. There is the idea that if we force them - they will do the exact opposite. It kids are like that - then they are really spoilt. Even more reason to force them. God is a Father. He has certain standards. He makes these clear and expects them to be done with no deviation (within reason). Parents should be cool about all that does not matter, and unrelenting as to what does matter.

What parents should not do is major in minors. What this does is to exhaust their goodwill credit with their kids.
Ephesians 6:4 "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. "

But in areas like lying, stealing, being rebellious, dropping out - not going to church even - anything which you consider "sin" or destructive behavior - parents MUST be insistent in a nice way.
Avoid ultimatums. Never say "While you live under my roof you will obey my rules" - and then wonder why they run away. Just tell them, "You are coming to church with us" and don't give in to their protests. Until they reach the age where they are adults. Then you lose your ability to force them. But as the provider, you have an unbelievable amount of leverage - if you use it smartly.

WhyOrHow

We don't let children do those things because they physically cause harm to the child. But tell me this - is it right to force what you think upon you children? If your mother was muslim- a faith you yourself do not agree with, and every day she made you wear the Burkah, and read the Koran - Is that ethical? Is it ethical to force your beliefs- your opinions - onto your children? Is it ethical to drag your child into your faith, your way of life, without letting them know about the other faiths that exist?

As a young child my parents made the desision to not force Christianity onto me. They decided that, rather than force their opinions on me (My mums Christian, something I only recently learnt) they chose to inform me on what is right and what is wrong in todays society. They gave me the social and physical skills I would need to survive, and then answered any questions I may ask them. This, I think, is the only true way to show faith for god- not to beleive only because your parents told you to, but because that is what you- not someone else - decided is the correct faith.

Do you need to be raised Christian to be Christian? Do you need to be Christian in order to be a good, reasonable person? Of course not.

LivingWaters

Considering this is a Christian forum and we have all pledged that we are Christians by joining this site, and considering the Bible tells us to honor or father and mother, and considering that I am the father of a child, he must go to church. As a Christian, which you must be since you are on this site, you have an obligation and a responsibility to raise your children. I was forced to go to church but that is not what MADE me a Christian. It did plant the seed. So yes, if I am going to worry about the physical health of my child so much, I will worry even moreso about their Spiritual health. Why? Because God cares more about their soul than he does about their bodies. And so do I. Sure, I want to raise a child with low cholesterol, but I'd rather him be a wonderful man after God's own heart. Your muslim argument is a moot point, because we are discussing this in a Christian context. If my child is forced to go to school and learn what the world is throwing at him, it is my job to make sure that he learns what God has to offer. Then it is up to him when he is an adult whether he wants to continue one way or the other. Do you have children? Are you a Christian? The question here is not whether or not I am trying to raise my children to be good, reasonable people. I want them to be good, reasonable people who love GOD and THIRST for God. Do you need to be a Christian to be good and reasonable? No. Don't expect to reap the benefits of those qualities if your heart isn't after Jesus Christ, though.

WhyOrHow

Firstly, I am Christian. I believe there is a god, and , when I die, he will judge me and decide whether I live in Heaven or Hell. Also, I think that he will judge me better if I make the decision to worship him- not if my parents tell me to.

Also, I would not consider my Muslim point irrelevant- there is little different in whatever context I place it in- Jewish, Christian or Muslim. All are faiths, and all are sometimes forced onto children by their parents.

Onto what you say about him learning what god has to offer him- yes, telling him about the bible and reading stories does have relevance, but taking his hand, leading him to church, sitting him down and telling him to listen to the Priest is simply working it into his routine. What matters is much more complex- do you accept Jesus?- not do your parents tell you to accept Jesus, but do you yourself examine the world before you, listen to what everyone has to say and then decide to follow on your accord.

Young children are very impressionable- many will believe something simply because you tell them to. I would make sure that my children follow jesus because they know his teachings to be true.

InHisLove

Excellent post!

Proverbs 22:6 . . . "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

In the way he SHOULD go; not in the way he WANTS to go.

I was forced to go to church as a child. I didn't like it much then, but I am certainly THANKFUL for it now.

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Banarenth

"Back in the day" we had a word for "forcing kids to do something". I think we used to call it "Raising" them.

I'm not talking about dragging an 18yo to church against his will, that is a separate subject. But if your child doesn't want to go to church for whatever reason, and you ALLOW them to stay home, or worse, Keep you from going, you are NOT raising them responsibly.

Would you allow them to stay home from school because "they don't want to go"? Ok, maybe once in a while, but every day? Would you allow them to eat only candy all day because that's what they want? Of course not. "Forcing" them is a bad term, but in reality that is the job of a parent.

But, the problem is that often parents believe their job ends there. And that in the end is where all the trouble comes from. I was "forced" to go to church as a child. I'm ok with that. That my grandfather to this day STILL tried to force me to not only go to church, but to HIS church, is another thing entirely. Because, I have seen no fruit from HIS church, and desire to truly be fed.

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Whirlwind

BEAUTIFUL, Banerenth!!!

Yesterday was my Lil Sister's birthday (She's a Christian) so I called my mom to see what time the party was...

My nephew answered the phone and yelled at me..."We told you that it started at 6!" and hung up.

I got to the party and told my nephew: "I grew up in an age when kids respected their parents and other adults...if we didn't, we got a spanking. Today, you don't respect anybody but yourself. So let me tell you this...if you ever speak to me that way again, I'm going to put you over my knee and whip you!"

Of course, I didn't whip him. He's 16 and his girlfriend was there. She looked terrified! But once she met me, she let her guard down and I heard her later on asking my nephew: "Why'd you yell at him!?"

Today, I still insist that children around me respect their adults. I don't allow headphones at the dinner table, when an adult is talking the kid better listen. If they're wearing "gang gear" when they show up at my house, they have to take them off (colored headbands and such). And if a grown-up says we're going to church, then we're going to church.

I didn't have a choice of going to church or not when I was a boy. I'm glad, too...because I might have made the wrong choice and might have never grown up knowing how much Jesus loves me.

Vision

i dont think they should be forced

Beloved

WOW! I can't believe what kids are allowed to get by with today... If I would have just interrupted an adult while they were speaking I would have ended on the other side of the room...
I had to look at adults when they spoke to me ...

I wouldn't have dared rolled my eyes, or my head would have rolled around like in the Exorcist... I was taught to say Please and Thank you... Where has that gone...

I didn't dare complain or whine like kids do today... It never even occured to me... Now, the whole family is to their kids...

I was late in giving a pastors kid $20.00 for his birthday... He never even said, "Thank you" but instead repromanted me for being late...

OK I know I blown off enough steam... Sorry I got off the subject...

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Beloved
1 Corinthians 14:1 Let Love be your highest goal.