freedfromdestruction

The following is a plea for the church to return to God in the area of divorce and marriage. I write this as one who understands the needs of the divorced person weather they are innocent in the divorce or the guilty party. However our desires are not above the scripture on the issue and the church must return to her Lord's commands.

It is evident that today the church as a whole is no longer seeking God on the issue of divorce. God's commands on this issue are no longer relevant for most of the claimed believers. Instead most seek exclusions from what the bible teaches on this matter or simply totally ignore the commands as if God's word is secondary to personal desire. The problem is so prevalent that the church today in America has either equaled the world or surpassed it in the percentages of marriages that fail. In essence God simply does not matter in this issue. This is seen in our actions. Most who violate God's command on the re-marrying issue after divorce shrug off the command by claiming grace and that they are not under law. However let us be ever so careful since when anyone ignores God's commands with the expectation of forgiveness they enter into a deep pit of presumption and that sin is of a type that cannot be confessed biblically in most cases. David cries out to God to keep him from presumptuous sin.

Psalm 19:13 Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous [sins]; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression.

We would do well to take a great warning from David's plea and not venture into the area of thinking that we can sin because God will forgive. While His mercy is great and His forgiveness beyond understanding He warns us that He will not be mocked.

Gal 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

This is a self evident verse in the area of divorce and un-biblical re-marriage. It is seen in the broken lives of the children that follow and the lifestyles of the parents that rush into this trap. The command is clear for those who divorce without biblical grounds.

1 Cor 7:11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife.

There is only two reasons for a biblical divorce which allow re-marrying. One is if the spouse leaves because the other has come to Christ and the un-saved spouse no longer wants to continue in the marriage with this person who now practices the callings of God.

The other reason is where there has been some sort of sexual relations outside the marriage. These two and only these two offer the innocent person in the marriage the right to re-marry. If the divorce came about for any other reason, then the divorced person even if innocent, is to remain single or seek to re-unite in marriage with their spouse. There are no exceptions given in scripture.

However today the church for the most part has abandoned the word of God in this area and stands condemned for its practice. Let us keep in mind that sin leads to more sin and in the end judgment. Like Israel of old unless we return to the precepts of God in all humility we also will be cut off from the grace that He has so mercifully offered. God's commands are not suggestions that we can cast aside at will because we feel that our circumstances are outside their purview. God's commands are just that, commands. His mercy was never intended as a for-thought to allow the individual to sin and escape judgment. Forgiveness and mercy is always an after-thought for sin that has taken place, although willfully on our part, for those who come in true contrition and humility over what they have done.

Presumptuous sin falls outside the realm of true biblical ability to be able to confess and leaves the person in a state of non forgiveness before God unless they can reverse their understanding and heart filled sorrow over what they have done. A very dangerous path to take. However even if we can come to a place of forgiveness that forgiveness does not justify the sin and any limitations that are imposed remain on the offending party.

So may we take great care in who and why we marry the first time and if there should be a divorce that does not fall within the guidelines of biblical permitted divorce and re-marriage then let us remain un-married or return to the one who we divorced.
God bless

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MY WEB SITE

Dusty

Divorce


"If a man divorces his wife and marries another woman, he is
guilty of the sin of adultery. And the man that marries a
divorced woman is also guilty of adultery."

-- Luke 16:18 (ERV)


KEY THOUGHT:
God hates divorce. It splits families. It breaks covenants. It destroys
people. It hurts children. It dishonors his plan for marriage. God
wants us to understand that his grace does not lessen his call on each
of us to be faithful to his or her marriage covenant. We are to be
people of integrity, commitment, and faithfulness.




You know what , I am divorced but I also believe that if it is a question of unfaithfulness , then God Makes acceptions. But to tell you the truth , I am not proud of the fact when people ask me ask I still feel like I am a failure.

__________________

Trials prove a Christian

Love confirms a Christian

But death crowns a Christian

Boanerges

You are no failure child of God!

Dusty

Well ,it's just in that area. I know that God has forgiven me and I have forgiven myself but maybe I should say I'm embarrassed then.

__________________

Trials prove a Christian

Love confirms a Christian

But death crowns a Christian

Boanerges

What did the road Italian road raced say when he pulled the rear view mirror of his car? Whats a behind you don't count. Confess, learn your lesson, move ahead in Christ. When He says He throws you transgressions into the sea of frogetfullness it means just that- He chooses not to remeber them anymore. Learn from the past yes- condemnation- no

Dusty

Thanks , It's not that I don't know but sometimes it still crops up and I know exactly where it comes from. The accuser himself. Bless you Brother Larry.

__________________

Trials prove a Christian

Love confirms a Christian

But death crowns a Christian

Jasher

MT 19:3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

MT 19:4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female,' 5 and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined
together, let man not separate."

MT 19:7 "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"

MT 19:8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

The religious leaders in Jesus day were always trying to involve him in the theological disputes of the times. There had been a long running disagreement about divorce that originated about 100 years previously. The conflict is known historically as the Hillel-Shammai dispute. Hillel and Shammai were famous Rabbis who were heads of rabbinical schools in Jerusalem. Hillel taught that a Jew could divorce his wife for any cause whatever, and Shammai held that divorce was lawful only for the cause of fornication. It was not a debate about remarriage, but only about the lawful cause of divorce that allowed remarriage. Denial of remarriage after divorce was unknown to the Jews.

So the real issue in the context of the time of Jesus was what constituted "Dissolution" of the Marriage. The Lord sided with Shammai that Fornication is the only reason for Dissolution. In that day wives were divorced for very frivolous reasons like for example…"going about with loose hair, spinning in the street, familiarly talking with men, ill treating her husbands parents in his presence, brawling…, a general bad reputation, or the discovery of fraud before marriage." (Edersheim). Any reason seemed to be valid.

A divorced woman was given a "bill of divorcement." This was a signed legal document which was her "Letter of freedom" to become the wife of another. This was a total breaking of the marriage - a total cutting off, and not a "separation of bed and board" as some today teach. The Lord sided with the school of Shammai and stated that God's purposes were contrary to divorce. I think that the Lord was saying to those religious
leaders (who were still under the Law) that they should not be issuing letters of divorce for all of these frivolous reasons. He was in fact protecting women from the whimsical abuse of men that was then being propagated by the school of Hillel.

Paul addresses some divorce situations in his writings.

1CO 7:10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

This text is believed to apply to Christian couples who are married and in the Church. He is saying don't give up so easily, you have the basis for reconciliation in the Lord.

And another…

1CO 7:15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

St. Paul I believe is saying that abandonment or divorce initiated by an unbelieving spouse is reason for dissolution. It was almost automatic in those days for Jewish and Greek spouses to divorce when their mates took up with such religious cults like "Christianity". This is generally believed true of Paul himself. His wife probably left him after his conversion. Those on the Grand Sanhedrin were married.

Remember the words of Jesus to Peter just before the crucifixion…

LK 22:31 "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your FAITH MAY NOT FAIL. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

On that day all of Peters dreams and hopes came crashing down around him - how he must have suffered until he was restored. In our day this is often what happens to so many of us. Christians get so overwhelmed with the many and intense troubles of this life that their faith fails them and they move further away from the Lord because of their feelings of failure, shame, and the belief that the Lord has abandoned them. In these times they often desert their situation of difficulty, which is sometimes the Covenant of marriage. It is in these circumstances that a Rehma word, forgiveness and healing are needed in their restoration. Recovery often takes many years and in the interim of all of this, people often remarry and start over again to rebuild their lives out of the ruins of their past.

I know there are people on this very site who are now living in great difficulty - I have read your words - May the Lord of all sustain you in your present trials that your faith does not fail you in these most difficult of days.

The Bible does not say very much about divorce, which is a clue to me that the Lord wants us to do the work of sorting this out for ourselves with the guidance of his Spirit. It is very easy to take the few words of Jesus and Paul and make dogmatic rules about these types of problems. The Lord himself speaks to us directly about our situation. I have heard several accounts where the Lord has asked someone what they were wanting to do in their bad marriage relationship - usually where infidelity, abuse, or battering were involved. Did they want to stay in or leave the marriage? He is always walking with us all in many complex situations and I know that his loving-kindness and mercy are there in every situation.

A fellow heir,

Jasher

Dusty

Jasher, I thank you very much for that summary. There is a lot of controversy over this subject and I have found a lot of condemming people as well that I had to walk away from as they were pulling me down, especially when they knew nothing of the situation but were of course willing to give all their negative input. You see one thing I have learned is not to give opinions to someone unless you have walked the same mile that they have walked.

__________________

Trials prove a Christian

Love confirms a Christian

But death crowns a Christian

Charlie68

This is exactly what I am dealing with at the moment. My wife has been laying with another man for about 2 months now. According to the scriptures, I know I am justified if/when I divorce from her. There are many reasons I have yet to file, but like Dusty, I feel like I have failed when the time comes. When people ask, I don't want to go into the details because I don't want to be guilty of running her through the mud. It could be very easy to fall into that trap, though, in part to get some amount of revenge and another to defer fault from myself..... and neither would be right .

Boanerges

You are a good brother Charlie- God will get you thru this- don't let the evil that seems so prevelant spoil your great heart towards God and others.