please save me

I'm a new member.

Does anyone else feel like they are not worthy of God’s forgiveness?


I have been a Christian for 8 years and when I got saved I made a big change. I gave up a lot of friends that I had and totally changed my playing style (guitar) now I play only Praise and Worship music. Before I was playing heavy metal. I was addicted to internet pornography and had a very big hole that needed to be filled with something so I used cars, nice expansive cars with custom paint and the whole works to fill that hole. I know about Reaping and sowing and I tithe to our local church and feel I’m a truly a blessed man. Lately, I think that I a reaping some of the negative things that I have sown in the past because it seams like I keep messing up in one area. I have been married for 5 years and have 3 great children one is a Foster child that we are going to an adoption herring tomorrow. My habitual sin is looking at women with “lustful eyes.� This has been eating me up. I feel not worthy of God’s grace and I talked to my wife about it. She says that she thinks it’s in a man’s nature to be attracted to women. But I told her that It not just a attraction I think about having sex with other women. Knowing that I would never cheat and when the thoughts come into my head I rebuke them in the name of Jesus. I tell the devil that he must bow to the name of Jesus and my body is not to be used in his impure way. I ask forgiveness but this is a area that the devil has a stronghold on me and sometimes even during the rebuking another thought will come to my head. And I will rebuke it again and again and again. This has been a constant struggle lately and now I’m starting to ask myself how many time can I disappoint God before he says, That’s enough. I don’t understand how He can still love me. My wife says that He will forgive me no matter how many times I sin and I know this but I’m just feeling bad about myself. God knows everything that I have done and will do. I feel like this is a test and I’m failing it.

I’m glad that I found this site because everyone in our church is that “Perfect super Christian � That I think would be judgmental and the Truth is I think most of them are just really good at putting on a show. I mean if you see a man come into the Church Drunk his sin is easy to see. A man like me, no one would ever think that I had this kind of problems. I look good on the outside to but the inside is killing me and it’s making me doubt God grace and Forgiveness.


I’m a Broken person that needs to be made whole again.

Please save me

IOACW

Hi Brother,
It's when you feel weak in faith that I think you need to lean on Him even more. You can't fail God; Jesus' blood took care of that for us. I don't think I can do anything without Him, but I do know that as long as I'm in this skin on this planet I am a sinner and will need to go to Him everyday for forgivness. Which is what you're doing when you call on the Lord and rebuke the devil for the lustful thoughts. I pray that you will soon feel the forgivness of the Lord and get the relief you seek

That's my thought...

__________________
Thanks and God Bless,
Jody,
aka IOACW


So let's do it; full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps His word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:22-25 The Message

please save me

At first I had no problumes I was going really well and then the closer that I got to God the devil started to show up and get my mind all messed up. I know the devil doesn't want me to be seeking God. Thruthfully the first years of my Christain life I was a on the fence Christain. I knew that I was saved but I wasn't doing much forr God. I was just there ya know? I made a comittment to be all or nothing. If I don't stand out from the rest of the world whats the point. Sure I get made fun of more like," What do you meen you don't watch much tv anymore. What wrong with tv?" I say," look at all the sin in these shows how is that horning to God?" Then they are like Dude you fell off your rocker. It's always my Co-workers that bring me down.


please save me

violet

please save me

Before this I had a situation with Guitars I have 7 of them and I thought they were the greatest and some of them are in the thousands of dollar range I started to have a big look at what I have attitudde. Then I gave all of them to my Pastor and humbled myself intill I knew that I was ready to have them back. It was really hard for me to see him play them in the Whorship team. I played Lead Guitar in the whorship team. But My Favorite Gutiar is my Taylor and thats the one that he played when I gave them away for a while. I gave him permition to play them but It was hard to see some one else playing them

Please save me

violet

Boanerges

Hi brother, Jesus loves you and died for those sins- He knew everyone you would ever make and gladly paid the price- you haven't surprised Him- He is our constant advocate with the Father, continually pleading His blood over you- when temptation comes ( and it wil ) call on Jesus and ask for strenght- that sounds simple and it is but it works- He sends the strenght and you walk in it by faith.. The flesh needs to die and this can be a painful process at times but it is a process that you are expieiriencing- this up and down cycle is usually a prelude to sich desperatation and hatred for your old lifestyle that you would do anything to be free- that is indeed a prelude to victory in that area of your life- don't give up- seek God for your deliverance is near!
As far as seemingly perfect people they are hiding their own struggles - if they are finger pointers who set impossible standards for you to achieve and talk about how good and godly they are all the time then they are bound in legalism which is a far worse condition than the one you are struggling with. I am believing for a good report- many blessings in His Name Larry

seekinghokmah

Feeling saved certainly isn’t a prerequisite to BEING saved, but your dilemma strikes at the very core of why we were created in the first place. If following God was easy, our joy in attaining a deeper relationship with Him would be truly limited.
God gives each and every one of us challenges, some greater and some smaller. If you waltz through life never partaking of a particular sin, but never really had any desire to commit that sin in the first place…what reward have you earned?

The greater the struggle, the greater the potential for reward…in other words; your most challenging weakness is actually your greatest potential for strength. If you can conquer this, you will be blessed indeed. This difficulty with lust is not the devils domain, but your own human nature…why give him any of the credit? This is not your downfall, but a doorway to greatness, an opportunity to soar!

Learn all you can about the sanctity of marriage and purity. Pursue it and embrace it with fervor. Marriage and sexual union or typological representations (models) of how deeply intimate our relationship with God can become if we will submit to his nature. Closeness to God is not a matter of proximity but of sameness…we are to imitate Him in every way.
So my advice is to stop chasing demons and start pursuing the Holy. When you look at a woman, train your mind to see someone you can bless without thought of personal gain…not an object to fulfill your physical needs. The battle is in your mind, and the first step is to personalize every girl you see, they are not bodies…they are souls trapped in a vehicle not of their choosing, just like you. We are not physical only, but spirit first and foremost. We must look with different eyes.

My two cents, hope it helps…and know that you are not alone in your struggle. The fact that you are struggling at all already sets you apart from a few billion other men on this little blue ball.
Blessings!

__________________
Good questions, when answered, innevitably lead to better ones. The light is in the search, and the search itself is the destination.

please save me

Great posts Thank you for the positive remarks. I am a very honest person when it comes to my struggles and I with more people were the same that way people with the same problumes wouldn't feel alone. I bought a Casting Crowns DVD and Mark (lead Vocalist) Said. I don't think that It bothers the world that we sin. It bothers the world that we act like we don't. When I have tried to talk to other Christians about this and after words they have created distance between myself and them and we no longer have a relationship where we can talk openly about things Because of a uncomfertable tention. Maybe I was Casting My pearls to the pigs.


Please save me

smellycat

i still go through this myself,these are the end of days,you cant look anywere without it shoved in your face.have strength brother/sister,i dont read many papers or watch much tv now,this helps me.