ElBob

Hey man, you are not alone. I have gone through most of what you have, except the guitars. I have no musical gift at all! Man, I can’t even play a CD, have the get on of my sons to operate the trifling thing.

Anyway, I have a couple of Scriptures for you. They have helped me a great deal.

Job 31:1
“I have made a covenant with my eyes;
Why then should I look upon a young woman?�

This goes along with Violet’s post. Really, you just have to train your self to look into the eyes and face and no lower.

Ephesians 6:14-18
“Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints�

James 4:7-8
“Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.�

Don’t take offence, but rebuking Satan is not Biblical. I hear of people talking about binding him and I wonder who keeps turning him loose. I am not beating any one up over this, it just will not get you where you want to be – free. I think the verses above will minister to you. I will pray for you.

cr0ss

http://www.pinpointevangelism.com/cyhome.htm

That would be a good website for testing your faith...


As for me, I decided to take a different approach to my faith - going into the dark where I can shine (some of you know what this is because of a recent post)... my worst fear is falling, but with constant studying in the word I will be able to pull through. Though some people can see (whom I talk to online) some of my qualities and values - it's hard to express yourself with words in typing as opposed to physically talking to them. And especially in places where they literally "eat your words, and spew them back at you". You have to be careful who you share your thoughts with - you cannot (no matter how many idiots say this) run off the top of a building screaming you're "saved!". You'll look like a fool and hypocrite before they get to know you.

I can't put a date on when I've decided to become saved... it's almost hypocritical to put a date on something so precious (my spirit knows when I got saved, it's nobody's business - and the church doesn't need a "better than you cause I got more years" drama). Over the years I found out that I really wasn't too sure of where I was going to end up in the first place... had a friend take me to some pentecostal camp, "spoke in tongues", got some radical feeling, went back home only to get screwed over by being told "we did that for you"... no, God wasn't given the credit, they had to step in and say they were "Godly" and better than God. I put up with my friend lying, cheating, and stealing all in one shot (lying about his faith to his friends and belittling me; cheating: making me feel something that wasn't there; and my friend stole a plane ticket). I still had problems with me, for which I exploded over - because my "friend" wanted to mask the issues surrounding other issues (so it was like a whole web of problems at the time that was just sitting in a corner growing larger).

I still am torn about it to this day because they hold lots against me (they seem to figure that if you're wrong in their books you're going to hell). They won't admit wrong so I cannot forgive. Instead I was forced to apologize for getting ticked at them, cause someone told me to (my heart wasn't there, I had been given grief). Lesson in life: good guys don't always win, and there are wolves in the church. And don't go doing what someone tells you to do just because they think they are in high regard... I hold the governing bodies in high regard, not those who like to "think" they have/want (to) take control of the situation somehow.

Ah testing my faith... I've been mad at several people within the church because of religion not faith. I think when other people from other countries start coming into N. America and Canada to tell us how to become truly saved - there's something wrong. We look at countries like Africa - cause they know how to worship, we point our noses up (that means you and I) and say it's not religious. It's not in the books.
You can be narrow minded, sure - but why? If we're so narrow minded we get so blinded that we can't see the obstacles around our tiny road we walk on called "life" (and I would know about narrow vision - my peripherals don't fare well on the road in real life). The bible does say to take the narrow road, but it doesn't say you have to be a stuck up pompous (and of course, narrow-minded) road-raged driver about it. I apply this to myself cause I find myself being ever so stuck up about myself because I hear some preacher coining "soldier", "battle", and "victory" in an insane way. We're proud to go to war because we are so delusional to think it's God saying go to war. And heck, we're trying to force our ideals onto another country instead of really giving them the freedom to speak out. And they're coming here and telling us we're wrong to think that, only to get the response "No, those aren't Christians over there doing these deeds" - even though the whole congregation applauded them before they left.

The worst way to lose your faith is in ignorance. Know who you are. It took me years to find out I really am weak. You cannot use God as a crutch in life; actually I take that back... you can, but you'll find out someone is bound to want to take "that particular subject" up with you sometime (and it will be someone who really needs help) only to find out your faith wasn't faith - but religion. No, your leg wasn't really broken, you just wanted to show something that wasn't really there. Chances are you're going to give someone else those crutches anyway, and fall because you got lazy with walking. It could be worse though - you could end up in a wheelchair.

I can see some demons around me, and some angels. I have been told by some that they think I have a huge demon around me. I beg to differ (yeah sure - some demons, but mostly angels). I have been told by some that they think I'm someone I'm not. I have been told I look like I'm gay (which I'm not) because I look very young for my age. I have been told to splurge and indulge. I have been told to get myself laid.... just to name a few. And I simply don't accept their answers for what I truly know.

One last note: You should put faith on... you can't walk out of a plane just believing you have that parachute on, you better *have that parachute on* your back when you jump!

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A blessing that isn't money - is a blessing that's worth more!

Nesian

i too sometimes lack faith. that's when i pray to God to give me more faith. he is the source of all good things right? so he gives me faith

also, i think of all the blessings God gave me. that gives me faith. and not forgetting the Word! which is the most important source of faith.

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