Daniel

I have many different feelings going through me at any given time. Usually, I'm pretty happy. I feel pretty good about myself. But there are two other very dominant feelings that creep up on me every once in a while...this being one of those times.

Before I continue, I would like to say that I'm a born-again Christian who has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, whom I know to be God. I mention this because what I am about to say will sound very confusing. It feels confusing.

One of these confusing feelings is that I'm the incarnate of Satan. I don't know how else to explain the feeling. I just feel as though I'm evil. As if I'm God's enemy, and sometimes I even feel that I have a place just as high as God Himself. Sometimes, I even believe that I am God. I know it's most likely just Satan trying to steer me off the path of righteousness and get me to fall so hard that I can't get back up. But the feeling is so bad that it feels real. The other feeling I have is that I've been put on this planet as God's example of what a fool is. I'm here to show others how NOT to be. I feel that every verse in the Bible that talks about fools is describing me, giving me a hint. This feeling is usually more devastating since I really don't want to be foolish. I want wisdom. I feel as though no matter what I do, I will never see God's eternal glory because I'm just a prop. Again, I'm certain this is Satan's way of trying to bring me down...HARD. But what I'm wondering is if anyone else here has had any of these kinds of feeling before, too. Even somewhat similar? Thanks in advance.

Padelford

I used to feel like that all the time. It was somewhat low self esteem but also that I wasn't close enough to god. I would advise finding soemone else in your family or a very close friend and talk about it with them if you already haven't. I happen to have a real good girlfriend which is a blessing in my life. She really helps me when I start to feel down.

Struick

I think you need some serieus counselling.
Make an appointment with your pastor, you need help, and you need it soon.

I doubt you can get it through the internet. You need to talk person to person.

To Eternity And Beyond

Dear Brother, I have had such feelings before, it got to a point where I believed that God had sent me to be the Anti-Christ that is prophesied by the Word of God. But God made it clear to me that I am his. I have helped people with this before. If you would like my help, than please PM me.

Arenlor

This sounds like a mental disorder to me, some type of complex. Dilusions of granduer, probably not what you want to hear, but I have Asperger's, you should seek help from a conselour.

Daniel

You're right, I don't want to hear that I was (mistakenly?) diagnosed with multiple personality disorder. I put "mistakenly" is brackets because I can remember my whole life. With multiple personality disorder, a person has blocks of time (months or even years) missing from memory. I don't have multiple personality disorder. But the possibility exists that I have bipolar (although it's a remote possibility). I was born into an abusive home with both physical and sexual abuse (and emotional abuse which comes along with the first two kinds). I dealt with depression for many years. If anything, that's what I think I may suffer from.

Arenlor

Sorry dude, but it sounds more serious than depression, I was nearly diagnosed with MPD but I wasn't. But yeah bipolar sounds on the spot. It's the whole importance factor, and also the equal with God mania of invincibility. And any depression you have too would show up in BiPolar.

Daniel

It's not really a mania I experience. I can't quite describe it. It's more of a philisophical thing, I guess, but even that won't do it justice. I guess the thoughts come most when I'm thinking very deeply about my existence. I'm almost 100% certain it's Satan, trying to attack in a very creative way while playing on my depression. He's a crafty one, that devil!

But I'm 99.9% sure it's not bipolar, since I exhibit no other signs of the disease (other than depression). And keep in mind that I don't actually believe I'm God or equal to Him...it's just a sinful thought that I have to brush away. (My original post said "believe", but a better word would have been "think". Sorry for the confusion.)

Anyway, I was just wondering in my original post if anyone else had these feelings or thoughts? I guess I got my answer! Thanks, all. And if there are more with answers, please feel free to post, even if the answers are the same as what's already posted.

Arenlor

Trust me that's called delusions of grandeur. I studied psychology. But yeah, I would suggest getting help with a psychologist first of all.

Daniel

Alright, well thanks. Maybe you're right.

I have another question for everyone, but feel free to post replies to either one. I'm probably going to want to put my foot in my mouth after this one...

Is anyone here afraid of dead things? People or animals mainly. You see, if I walk past a dead cat on the side of the road, for example, I'll keep looking back even after I've passed it to make sure it's not "following" me. I KNOW it can't follow me, and I KNOW it has no spirit like we do, but I've always been afraid of dead things. Even after I get home and go to sleep, I'll "feel" that dead cat's "presense" in my room. I'll feel as if it's somehow there. Sometimes, I'm even afraid to get out of bed just incase I step on it during the night. I don't know why I have such a fear. It's a phobia, really. What would a phobia be called where the person is terrified of dead things? Never mind, I just found it on Google. It's called necrophobia. Is anyone else here necrophobic?