Barbara

I AM wondering if any of you will have any opinion or helpful Bible verses for this one, we have an older man in our Church who is going around showing off photos of his 40 YRS younger " girlfriend" one he has met on a website. very foreign but claims to be Christian. he plans to marry her. I am horrified but we have never dealt with anything like this before and dont quite know what to do. the website photos are a bit risque, very sexy.............???????????
Needs much prayer
He thinks its a blessing of God
He is twice divorced.

Pastor Gary

Pray for the person ( who may be desperately trying to regain his youth ).

Perhaps it may be reasonable to ask your Pastor to become involved and to mention to this person privately, that what is taking place is not proper behavior for anyone of any age - especially within a church setting. However, based upon what you have mentioned about the past history, this person's personality may not be receptive to any criticism...

templaris

in olden times it was not uncommong for an elder man to marry young people. infact, many Sectegenarious ( i thats right, people who are in their 60's) throughout history have many times over married people that could very well be their grandchildren. in Biblical days, it would not have been uncommon for a wealthy, 35 y/o on the brink of death to marry a 16 y/o, or even younger!

of course, todays standards dont truely smile upon this behavior now, but obviously this young woman he is going to marry is marrying him for alllll the wrong reasons. The only reason a young woman would ever marry a MUCH older man is because of money, an dit is truley him, the man, who is losing out on this deal. He only wants to have her as a piece of carnality, and sh eonly wants him for his money, until she can either divorce him with a large settlement, or outlive him and recieve an inheritance.

seems like theyre both a little misguided to me. For love is not a great motivator to many. The flesh, and gold, tempt people much more than love does....which is kind of sad.

I dont know if there really is anything you can do beside not look at her photos, and basically just not get involved, and dont gossip. Sure, what I said was pretty harsh, so it really hsouldnt be repeated.

freedfromdestruction

You have scripture on this. If he is divorced he is to remain single. Confront him on the issue and if will not listen go to him with two or three witness and if he will n ot listen take him before the church.

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templaris

I disagree with freedomfromdestruction, for no one can tell anyone to remain unmarried if they are divorced. Lawfully, you may divorce and remarry as you please. Levitically(I think), you cannot, but you also cannot eat pork, Levitically if I am not mistaken. I think I may be wrong on this, but lawfully, you should be able to divorce and remarry.

If one's husbnd is abusive, then by all means, the wife should have all respectful rights to divorce, AND get all his money to teach him not to be a woman beater. And God knows that any woman beater is a foul, disrespectful curr deserving of retribution. One should have the God-given right to divorce if the person they married is full of hate and anguish targeted towards others. People make mistakes, and they learn from them. Why should they have to pay with the rest of their lives for a mistake anyone could've mde in those circumstances? the answer is they shouldnt have to pay, for they've already paid enough by having to deal with that kind of abuse.

but this is also an issue between him, and his soon-to-be-wed. If he is okay with a young woman agreeing to marry him only for wealth, and SHE is okay with marrying this man for reasons other than love, then that is between only they. It is frowned upon, surely, but only one can learn from their own mistakes if they go through with them.

In many ways, and many times, this situation has repeated itself continually, but one cannot judge, or ask others to judge in any case. This is a sole moral issue with him and his girlfriend.

Theophilus

The disparity between the claim to be a christian and the actions showing otherwise is the problem the church should address ,and quickly.
Twice divorced, carrying on with an umarried woman and flaunting it openly. this is not the behavour of a saint. If this is true and not gossip then the church elders are responcible to set this person down and have them make a choice. Get right or Get out.
Failure to do so leaves them and the entire church no better than he is.

1Co 5:11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such a one no not to eat.
1Co 5:12 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?
1Co 5:13 But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

Fellowship with Satan is not an option. If the church doesn't do the right thing then I leave the church.
Just that simple.

templaris

I disagree again.

obviously the church wont throw him out, because that goes against the Bible too. also, churches want people. they wont get rid of people just because they are a sinner.

To call someone a fellow with satan just bc theyre a sinner is just wrong. We're all fellow with satan cuz we all sin, by that same line of logic.

but why would YOU leave the church just because the church wont get involved with someone's PERSONAL LIFE CHOICES. The church WILL NOT get involved with something that is really none of their business. for EVERY CHURCH has idolators, drunkards, sexually immoral people, and the whole LIST of sinners, and to throw them out because they are struggling with their own personal demons is NOT helping them, but rather, hurting them. Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

To reject someone for their mistakes and sins is maniacal. if any church wouldnt let me attend Easter services just because I smoke cigarettes(a sin) would just be wrong.

freedfromdestruction

The reason that the church today for the most part does not get involved is because it is not mthe real church. We are commanded to carry oour church disciplin, but few do. This is whhy the church has "idolators, drunkards, sexually immoral people, and the whole LIST of sinners" on its members list who are lost and do not know it.

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Theophilus

God requires of the church leadership that they dicipline. And performing that dicipline is in accordance with the bible ,not against it.
By your way of thinking there is no problem with prostitutes working at the door and drug dealers posting adds on the bulliten board. There is a vast differance between those who sin and then repent and those who continue as though nothing is wrong with it. The first needs and deserves our help the second needs to be removed unless (As I said earlier) they make a choice to do what is right.
If the personal lives of the members of the church isn't it's business then it has no business. Spending eternity in heaven or hell is as personal as it gets. If being diciplined here and now makes a differance (and it most certianly does!!) in were an individual spends eternity we do them great harm in ignoring them and their sin. If we care about them we will get involved in their personal lives. If we don't then we won't. If we don't then we are no part of His. For if we are we would want the same as he ,that not one be lost.

I'm not sayiong that if they they are putting forth an effort that they should be put out.. I mean somthing more than making exuses, as in seeking help from brothers ,sisters and church elders, then by all means help them. But to do nothing when they flaunt their sin or make excuses for and even in some cases temp others with it is ignoring the word of God. And a very serious error on the part of church leadership, to say the least.
I fellowship ,attend church to learn and become a better person in the body of Christ. If a church doesn't do anything but tell me i'm Ok and Jesus loves me and never speaks of judgmnet or the wrath of God for my sins then they are of no use to me or God. I come to hear the truth not to be made to feel good or be deceived about my sin. If they let it pass in others then they will let it pass in me. So,yes when I see those who openly parade their sinful lives with no concern of their own and by the church then yes I leave and I don't waste time doing it.
Why?? Because it just isn't right and there are those who look to me for guidence and I won't let them think it is by condoning or accepting it.

templaris

So, you're saying its right for a church to discipline its congregates according to how the Bible says they should be disciplined? Doesnt the Bible also say you can put people to death for certain crimes/sins? So according to your line of logic the church should be able to throw people in jail, and hold them without trial, because the Bible says nothing of the due process of law we have here in the 21st century. According to the Bible, the church should be head of the state and the main arbitrator in domestic and foreign legal issues.

According to the Bible, the church should run the country!!!! you dont actually believe this do you???????? if you do, please tell me if, and when you are running for office so I can vote against you before you turn the church into a puppet of power, or turn the state into a puppet of the church.


Your personal life isn't the church's business. its between God and you! God sees what you're doing, God knows you know what you're doing is wrong, and you know, that God knows. why do we need the help of the congregation do interfer with something God already knows full and well how to handle. dont you think if someone deserved punishment from God that they would get it?

Wouldnt you hate it if the church bulletin board posted your schedule, home phone number, address, etc, etc, just so people could check up on your and make sure you werent sinning? and if you were doing somehting sinful, or perhaps illegal, say, unpaid parking tickets?, the church should be responsible for dragging you to court, docking your pay check, and make sure you never do it again by placing a monitor on your car to indicate where you are parked?

Cuz, well, if you dont pay those parking tickets, you might go to hell!!!! sorry im being sarcastic.

no one's church would get involved in this, whether or not you call your church "the real church".

EVERY CHURCH HAS SINNERS, and to try and drive away those sinners would mean you should drive yourself out too. We all live in sin, and we all do our best to change. Some of us are better, some of us aren't. This is no reason to drive people away, but only to try and heal.

what if drug dealers go to your church? no, not that kind of drug dealer. But the kind that makes tons of money in a parmaceutial lab selling aderol and ritalin to kids that don't need it, and were probably misdiagnosed? that kind of drug dealer is okay, but not the one just trying to feed his children anyway he knows how?