A victim mentality

Boanerges · 07-01-2008, 04:33 PM

One of the greatest obstacles I have seen in the lives of people saved and unsaved alike is the mentality of being a victim. Whether it be abuse by others, persecution for Christ, racism, poverty, circumstance, handi-cap or perceived limitations. How many times have I heard someone say" they won't let me", "I can't get anywhere because of my condition", "it is all their fault" and "they are holding me back". Have you ever watched someone given opportunity sit and squander their chance for progress because they simply did not believe they could succeed?
This poor me mentailty holds back much of the world from moving forward but it is especially greivous when we see this manifest in the life of a Christian.
In stark contrast to this perception is the truth of God's Word:

Rom 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

Php 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

1Jn 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

1Jn 5:4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.

Rom 8:37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

We have the favor of God on our lives and no power in this world is greater than that. We no longer believe that we are victims but instead walk in quiet confidence knowing that the hand of our God is on us to prosper us and cause us to bear much fruit.
What is there that this world can do to hinder that? Assolutely nothing. What is there that we can do to hinder that- sadly everything as we must believe God to see these things manifest in our lives.
One might say I was born in the wrong part of town or I do not know the right people- or ons might say I am blessed of God and will see His love and blessing manifest in my life. So you were born at a dissadvantage and yet when you were born again you became a member of the highest rayoal family- you are a son of God.

JG27_chili · 07-01-2008, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boanerges

One of the greatest obstacles I have seen in the lives of people saved and unsaved alike is the mentality of being a victim. Whether it be abuse by others, persecution for Christ, racism, poverty, circumstance, handi-cap or perceived limitations. How many times have I heard someone say" they won't let me", "I can't get anywhere because of my condition", "it is all their fault" and "they are holding me back". Have you ever watched someone given opportunity sit and squander their chance for progress because they simply did not believe they could succeed?
This poor me mentailty holds back much of the world from moving forward but it is especially greivous when we see this manifest in the life of a Christian.
In stark contrast to this perception is the truth of God's Word:

Rom 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

Php 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

1Jn 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

1Jn 5:4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.

Rom 8:37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

We have the favor of God on our lives and no power in this world is greater than that. We no longer believe that we are victims but instead walk in quiet confidence knowing that the hand of our God is on us to prosper us and cause us to bear much fruit.
What is there that this world can do to hinder that? Assolutely nothing. What is there that we can do to hinder that- sadly everything as we must believe God to see these things manifest in our lives.
One might say I was born in the wrong part of town or I do not know the right people- or ons might say I am blessed of God and will see His love and blessing manifest in my life. So you were born at a dissadvantage and yet when you were born again you became a member of the highest rayoal family- you are a son of God.

Hey there, I too sometimes get caught up in this victim thing. I am born again and I know that Jesus right here with me. Still since you mentioned it I find that "poor me" "but" "I cant" "they wont let me" ect, is it a lack of Faith or could it be cuz I'm stubborn-pride?
I have Faith but also still have pride. But when I let pride in the way the victim syndrom comes in then tortures me.When I use Faith the Lord is allowed in my heart to guide me and everything runs pretty smooth.
I think I just answered my own question.
Thanks for the wake up call Boanerges.

Boanerges · 07-01-2008, 08:27 PM

Amen and you are welcome BC!

Ben · 07-01-2008, 09:01 PM

I received Christ 33 years ago, was baptized several weeks later, and I joined a good God fearing bible believing church with a Godly pastor who loved the Lord with all his heart. I grew in the Lord, but something just was not quite right. I found that in my opinion I was sinning entirely too much especially since I was now a born again Christian, but upon looking around and speaking with other Christian men I saw that they also had the same problems as I had, and some even had worse problems that I had. So, other than complaining to the Lord about my sin, and getting upset about my sin, and praying for (and getting forgiveness) again and again and again for my sin I continued on.

Thinking that obediance and hard and "good" works was how I would conquer sin, I went on missions trips, I faithfully tithed, I volunteered around the church for whatever needed to be done. I sang in the choir, worshipped every Sunday morning and Sunday evening, and attended every Wednesday evening prayer service, I prayed, gave money to the destitute, and passed out tracts and witnessed to the saving power of Jesus Christ. Still something was not quite right, so finally I went to my pastor and "complained" to him that I felt I sin entirely too much. He said we are sinners twice over. One, we were born a sinner according to Psalm 51, and two we again became sinners when we chose to sin rather than refusing to sin the first time we were tempted as a child and we are now slaves to sin, and since we are all sinners, and always will be sinners nothing can be done about it. So I might as well get used to being a sinner, a saved sinner, but still a sinner.

Scripture seemed to bear this out. Even the great apostle Paul proclaimed that he was chief amoungst sinners, so I thought that at least I am in good company. :-)Hebrews 3 states unequivocally that "there is none righteous, not even one." I was definately NOT righteous! Good, another passage that I could hang my "Christian sinners" theological hat on.

But there were other "troubling" passages like 1 John 3:9, "Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God." Also "Be ye perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect" found six times in the scriptures.

So if I was perfect and sinless, what is all that stuff that seemed like sin in my life? According to the scriptures lusting after other women, having violent outbursts of vitreolic anger, using God's name in vain, stealing, using filthy language, being proud and arrogant and hating other people because they were not the same color as I was, was quite simply SIN. There was no sugar coating about it I was a sinner through and through.

A church change gave me a new pastor and this one had a masters degree in counseling, AND he was an on fire, born again, baptised, bible believing halleujah PTL kind of pastor! So, I spilled the beans to him over the span of a number of counseling sessions. His opinion was that I was angry about something but he couldn't draw it out of me and I couldn't think of anything that I had experienced out of the ordinary as a child, so I continued to sin.

Of course I hid all of this from my fellow Christians. What would they think of me, the "pillar of the community" and a "fine Christian businessman" if they knew about all my horrible sins. I wore a great mask, just like most Christians do. As someone said "fake it until you make it" (by the way that is good advice.) So I faked it. I acted like I was horrified when a local video shop started renting XXX videos even though I rented them nearly every week. I wagged my head in disgust upon hearing of another man who was having an affair with his secretary, all the while I was lusting after mine and dropping some heavy hints that I'm willing if she is. What a facade, and yet, I was saved! God blessed me daily. He always answered my prayers (though not always the way I wanted them to be answered) but God was in my life.

Eventually I settled into the (false) belief that all Christians sin every day "in word deed or thought" and I was no different.

But then, after 33 years of living like this God arranged one morning that I would have a flashback to my childhood. Horrible memories of abuse that I had buried as a young boy came to the surface of my mind. I burst into tears. I barely could go to work I was such a mess. My wife was surprised and shocked at what had happened to me. One moment I was watching TV and within 30 seconds I was a total wreck. She asked me to please tell her what was wrong but I was so choked up with emotions I could only squeek out a few words in an attempt to explain what I had experienced over several years as a young boy. An "emergency" session with my pastor was quickly arranged and I was told to write everything down exactly as I remembered it, and to bring it into his office the next morning.

The next morning was not a pretty sight in his office. I probably looked to my pastor like I had been on a week long drunk. He sat me down and we just sat there for a few moments in silence while I gathered the strength to give him the paper I had so painfully and laboriously compiled. He then read it to me, word for word. Every curse word I heard while being abused was read, every slap was heard and felt again, every feeling of helplessness and hopelessness was again experienced as my loving pastor read everything I had written. I was a young boy again being physically abused by both of my parents. It all came crashing down on me and I couldn't stop the flood of tears. I don't think I ever wept as hard as I wept that morning in his office. Then after he finished he praised me for "coming clean" and for having the courage to tell it all to him then he prayed for me, hugged me and suggested that I take it home, read it to my wife and then feed the paper to the shredder or burn it. I did.

That was over 100 days ago. I was truly touched by the Holy Spirit that morning. I have not said one curse word, had even one impure thought about women, have had no outbursts of anger, no hatred for anyone, actually there are at least ten things that I no longer do, or (righteous) things I do now that I never did before. To be honest it feels like I have been born again all over again. I am absolutely amazed. I have experienced a second touch of the Lord. I never believed in the second touch before, but now that I have experienced it, I will never doubt it (or make fun of it) ever again.

The above account is absolutely 100% accurate.

Ben

smellycat · 07-01-2008, 09:59 PM

i,m glad you don,t need to hide anymore.and i guess you feel better know for admitting truth,truth is the only way.i hope you warn others of not covering a false position.people can only help if you tell the truth,Jesus can help you always you need to want to be saved.

Boanerges · 07-01-2008, 10:29 PM

I am so glad you have found freedom Ben! Praise God for His deliverance, His joy and the righteousness we find in Christ.

Fluffy · 07-02-2008, 05:32 AM

May God bless you, Ben, for your testimony. It touched me deeply. I hope it touches others, too.

univac · 07-02-2008, 05:39 AM

I thank God For our transformation from self to the fruit of the holy spirit,

Amen

love brother

God bless

Jax · 07-02-2008, 06:05 AM

Ben an amazing story, and truly showing the reality of the scripture 'Those whom the Son sets free, are free indeed'!
It is only the Holy Spirit who can reveal this stuff, I too was dissillusioned by some Christian men being no different to those in the world by the way they treat or look at women, at first I had thought they were different until a couple of experiences put me off badly, like you they need to come to that place and let God heal them of all the hurt etc inside.
God bless for your openess.

Dusty · 07-02-2008, 02:00 PM

Quote:

We have the favor of God on our lives and no power in this world is greater than that. We no longer believe that we are victims but instead walk in quiet confidence knowing that the hand of our God is on us to prosper us and cause us to bear much fruit.
What is there that this world can do to hinder that? Assolutely nothing. What is there that we can do to hinder that- sadly everything as we must believe God to see these things manifest in our lives.
One might say I was born in the wrong part of town or I do not know the right people- or ons might say I am blessed of God and will see His love and blessing manifest in my life. So you were born at a dissadvantage and yet when you were born again you became a member of the highest rayoal family- you are a son of God.
__________________

Yes, it is so true that we all play the victims whether we are Christians or not. Some how we want people to recognize that we have been treated badly and seem to rest in the fact that we have the" Poor Me syndrome "

I know cause I have been there . And I am not going to tell you it didn't feel good as people were paying attention to me so I was lapping it all up.I guess because of 20 yrs of abuse, in my self I needed validation.

Thankyou Larry for bringing that up cause I must say, I wallowed in that self pity for a long time and people would say cruel things like get over it which would only increase the pity. Sometimes it is best if Christians said nothing than to say those things.

To make a long story short .... Yes there is freedom from abuse .... freedom from self pity ,freedom form adictions. And the freedom is in Jesus Christ and laying it all on the alter, leaving it there and not picking it up again. That took a long time for me to realize, but God is good and He is patient. He is the only one who can set a person free and when He does as in my case it is liberating and joy beyond anything this world can offer. Praise His name forver more.

Ben ..... I so appreciate your testimony ( especially since I suffered abuse,)and the freedom that the Lord has given you. He who the son sets free is free indeed. God bless you my brother. That takes courage to tell , but God will bless you and give you a ministry to bless other men who are caught in these things and don't know why. Praise God for your deliverence.

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