BreathOfGod

Some of you might know that I recently moved. This places my parents, myself, and my children in a position of looking for a new church. I thought that I would make a thread and share all of my adventures in looking for a church that fits all of the diverse interests of my family.

This thread is not intended to put down any denomination or church, so I will leave all identifying references out. It is not meant to poke fun at nor belittle any churches. The intention is to show the challenges which face a family in finding a new church home. I have read posts on this forum where individuals have trouble finding a church, and so I thought that maybe my own adventures can inspire others to keep searching and to allow others to know that they are not alone in finding the right place.

BreathOfGod

The first Sunday after the move was Easter Sunday. We planned on getting up for a sunrise service that was interdenominational and put on by all the church denominations within the city. The day was rainy and cold, so we had to scrap those plans. We are hoping they have the same service next year for us to attend. It is in our mental file box of plans for next year. We all do love attending sunrise services.

Since the rains put a damper on things, we decided to go to a church that is familiar to us. Upon arriving there, my dad and I were turned off (as always at this church) by the showy dancers in the praise and worship. I noticed other changes as well in the church-- all the ushers (?) were wearing matching coats. They reminded me of going to the theater and the guys who work there, showing you to your seat.

We asked one about children's church for the kids and a nursery for the baby, and were informed that the children all go into the main service and get dismissed later. Well, there was never a dismissal. We ended up taking the baby out and asking someone else about the nursery-- which they showed us to. The children sat with us the entire service, and were very well behaved, but later I discovered that there had been something in another building for the children where they would have had an easter celebration and hunted eggs. I was glad that the children didn't realize that they missed out.

The dancers..... I have discussed my views on liturgical dancing in another thread on this forum, so this is not the place to get into it. People can find my posts there if they need and explanation for how I believe in this area. During one song, the dancers were dancing and at the end a man in white suddenly walked up on stage and they all ran over and bowed down to him. My mom had been praying and suddenly looked up to see him walking off of the stage. She leaned over and asked me, "What was that? Did they have Jesus coming out of the tomb?" I leaned back and said, "No. He just walked up on stage and everyone bowed down." This act, was not a part of any drama, mind you. It just suddenly happened at the end of a song. It honestly did not like it.

The sermon was great! It was on family. John 19:25-27 talks about when Jesus was on the cross, and shows his concern for his family. We all left there having enjoyed the sermon and getting things out of it.

BreathOfGod

This past Sunday we decided to go to another familiar church and attend the early service. Attempts were made to contact the church beforehand to ensure that they were still having their early service, but all attempts failed.

We all got up, got dressed, drove over 40 miles to church, and when we got there....... the parking lot was empty. One lonely car sat in it with a woman inside. Not discouraged, we got out of our vehicle and checked all the doors of the church. Locked. We looked at the signs on the church.... all still listed the time for the early service. The woman rolled down her window and told us that she is visiting also and was wondering why no one was there. As we were getting in our car to leave, another car pulled up, someone got out and checked the locked doors, then the car left. Three vehicles, all turned away by locked doors and an empty church.

Not discouraged, we set out to find a church holding an early service. We went to a second church..... no luck. We went to a third church.... no luck. I joked to my parents that maybe there was some strange city ordinance prohibiting church services before a certain time. We went to a fourth church..... ah ha! They had an early service, but by this time there were only 10 minutes left. I joked again to my parents that we were really church hopping now!

A fifth church..... the sign had an early service time. We parked. We walked up to the doors. The man greeted us and told us we were an hour early for church. My dad pointed to his sign outside with the time on it. The man looked outside. "Oh, I guess it isn't clear." He said. We left.

We went grocery shopping, then went back to the first church for their second service.... now 2 hours later.

My parents hated the praise and worship. Electric guitars, heavy drums.... Christian rock. But once again the sermon was good! It was a really good sermon on Jesus as our cheerleader. The times in the NT when he gave cheers to people. This church also had things for the children, although it seemed more like they were babysat rather than learning. My oldest said that they watched a movie and were offered popcorn. The kids don't mind.

This upcoming week we might go to a church that is also 40+ miles away. My dad heard that the pastor there is one that we might really like and that they have things for the kids. The next several weeks after that we plan to scout out places closer to home. We were thinking that if we can find a closer church then we can be more involved. 40 or 50+ miles can be a long drive after some time.

ping

I recently moved too but was lucky in finding a new church pretty fast.

SweetSurrender

I also had my fill of 'performances' in church. We didn't have the dancing thing in my last church, and the pastor always had a good word, but the service was so structured that you felt like you just were there to watch a carefully prepared show. Yes, the ushers all had on the same coats and one even ushered the pastor in and sat with him during praise and worship. It was all well and good for a few months, but I felt like I needed more fellowship and I was still empty when I left. The pastor was untouchable and so I went looking also.

I found a smaller church, maybe 100 in attendance and they actually had times inbetween songs where you could feel the Spirit strongly and where He was allowed to speak if He had a word for us. Twice since I've attended this church, someone has had a word of prophesy. You can tell the people are used to fellowshipping together and they have adult sunday school and classes on Wed. nights, where you can ask questions and actually participate in discussions.

Maybe you are looking at the wrong churches, where they try to cater to everyones needs instead of catering to the Holy Spirit and what He might have to say during your time in His place of worship.

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BreathOfGod

I prefer smaller churches also. Those that we have visited are of all sizes. Those that I have attended growing up are of a variety of sizes also-- ranging from tiny mission churches up to large televised churches.

My mom and I were discussing how so many churches these days seem to be more interested in performing and putting on a production. They sing "it's all about you....." but it seems more about who is up on stage.

If you boil it down to church criteria, we are mostly looking for a place that has good programs for the children, an educated pastor, a church body that is active and loving, and music that has a middle ground or variety to appeal to us all.

One thing that I noticed is that it seems churches spend less time in actual worship these days. Even during the singing time, they go from super fast, then suddenly have one slow song and then cut it off. It is as if they got in their one slow song requirement and that is finished. There is no spontaneity or natural transitions between songs. They sing a fast song. Everyone claps. They sing a fast song. Everyone claps. They sing a fast song. Everyone claps. They sing a slow song. Okay. Done. Moving right along.... My mom says the fast songs remind her too much of the whirling dervishes..... reciting the same three words over and over and over a dozen times while people work themselves into a frenzy.

Boanerges

I have an awesome home church but have moved around an hour and one half away. I am having a hard time finding one up here but I realize God does not always send you to be blessed but sometimes to be a blessing- so I am open to His lead.
The dancers, the coats, the music- they may not be your style but that does not mean they are not being done as unto the Lord. Do not profane your brothers offering unto the Lord- this was the sin of the sons of Eli the high priest of Israel. If it is not for you that is fine but if those things help someone else draw near to God who am I to criticize? Just keep trying until you find the one where God wants you- music and coats aside you won't be happy anywhere else.

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Anything that dims my vision for Christ, or takes away my taste for Bible study, or cramps me in my prayer life, or makes Christian work difficult, is wrong for me; and I must, as a Christian turn away from it. – J. Wilbur Chapman

BreathOfGod

The sons of Eli were doing a great many wicked deeds... stealing from the offering, sleeping with the women, etc.

I don't see how my expression of dislike for an act that is not supported in the bible, in the manner of which it is being performed, is comparable to what the sons of Eli were doing. Anyhow, I didn't intend this thread to become another on the topic of dancing in church and in the bible. My thoughts and expressions are already in another thread on that topic.

Jon-Marc

I wasted over two years looking for a church in Florida after moving here from Michigan. I'm running out of churches to visit. I just don't like the southern Baptist churches compared to the northern Baptist. They're just too different for me--especially their music. You would think that southern Baptist churches would have southern gospel music, but they don't. It's too contemporary for my taste. The preaching here in Florida is a bit on the bland side for me.

My ministry is in music as a song leader and soloist, and I've had no success in finding a church that needs my talent. I finally did find one that is VERY small, but at least they need a song leader and soloist. Unfortunately, the piano player seems to expect everyone to follow him instead of him following the song leader.

However, we had a fantastic evening service there this last Sunday. We had a great time of singing, praising the Lord, and fellowship afterward. We had three churches combined, but even then there were only about 100 or so people. One trio from one of the churches was fantastic and would most rival any professional group I've heard.

Although I'm not a member there (yet), I was allowed to sing a solo in the morning and evening services, and I lead the singing (more or less) in the evening. The piano player started without me a couple of times. The last time I knew the song leader/music director LEAD, and the piano player plays an introduction and then follows him/her. Still, it was a wonderful time in the Lord, and I've been inspired ever since. I even wrote a poem Monday. If I haven't posted it here, then I will be doing so.

Boanerges

Nothing personal. I am not into dance but some worship God that way- I am not attempting to hijack your thread but I do get a tad touchy when people start criticizing others in their worship. I guess that is a bad habit I have- again nothing personal and I am sure there is somebody out there who can meet your standards. Enjoy your thread and your day- brother Larry.

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Anything that dims my vision for Christ, or takes away my taste for Bible study, or cramps me in my prayer life, or makes Christian work difficult, is wrong for me; and I must, as a Christian turn away from it. – J. Wilbur Chapman