NearertoGod

Can be something completely random or...whatever! I love funny stuff, and stuff that makes me laugh...even if it doesn't make any sense at all.

Well, when I was 8 or 9, me and my cousin were in the mall and sat down at a table while my grandmother got some Chinese food. All of the sudden, this random kid just ran out of nowhere and ran into the chair next to us. It was so weird and random we just couldn't help ourselves and had a hard time containing our laughs. LOL, that incident still cracks me up!

Me and my grandmother were chillin' and watching TV, and we happened to turn on this funny Police show. Near the end, this Highway Patrol man pulled over this guy in a green Jeep. The man got really mad when the patrol man showed him the ticket, and it was like....about $300-400 or something. After yelling and making a fuss, he drove off, and all the patrol man said was "Bye?" I was LOLing so hard my stomach hurt.

Boanerges

I saw that episode- it was great!

__________________
Anything that dims my vision for Christ, or takes away my taste for Bible study, or cramps me in my prayer life, or makes Christian work difficult, is wrong for me; and I must, as a Christian turn away from it. – J. Wilbur Chapman

Whirlwind

3rd Rock From the Sun:

Sally: Mississippi.

Dick: Mr. Sippi!



Dick goes up to the jewelry store and tries to go in, but the door's locked. He jiggles the handle.

Store clerk: "Just a minute, I'll buzz you in!"

Bzzzzzzzzzzz!

Dick tries to open the door while the buzzer is still buzzing.

Store clerk: "Wait for the buzzing to stop."

Bzzzzzzzzz!

Dick jiggles the handle at the exact moment the buzzing stops.

Store clerk [trying to be polite]: I'll buzz...you wait...then you open the door."

Bzzzzzzz!

Dick jiggles handle at exact moment buzzing stops.

Bzzzz! Jiggle. Bzzzzzzzzz! Jiggle. Bzzzzzzzz! Jiggle jiggle.

Store clerk [angry now]: NO, LISTEN TO ME!!!!



Dick [on phone with Mary even though they're sitting in the same office]: How's my witto sweetums?

Mary: Oh! I have another call...I'll have to call you back! *click!*

Dick: Hewwo!? Hewwo!!!



[Dick has been stuck in a stair well for the entire weekend, because he snuck in there to smoke a cigarette when he was trying to quit. He's ratty now, and has his sock on his hand singing Broadway musicals with his sock puppet].

Dick: Annnnnnd then, when it comes to paaaaaaaaaaaasss...

[Loud knock on stairwell door]

[Dick and his sock puppet look at each other as if to say "did you hear that!?"]



The Simpsons

Ned Flanders is praying:

Ned: Dear God, please give me the strength to endure Homer's friendship!

I usually have the TV on for background noise when I'm making running shorts and vests. But if it gets funny enough I stop to watch.

__________________
Chapter-by-Chapter, verse-by-verse.
Jesus is the Living Word.

Jax

I remember queueing up outside a cinema (movie theatre) it was freezing cold and Icy, and we were with another couple, friends of ours.
We had waited for ages, as it was the latest 'hot' movie,
My husband and his friend decided they would go into the Kentucky chicken shop to get some coffee as we were getting so cold.
My friend and I had moved quite a long way forward in the queue while the guys were in the KFC,
and in his haste to find us, and not get left outside, my husband started walking quite fast, he then slipped on the ice and skidded the entire length of the queue on his backside, still holding the coffee, never spilt a drop.
He got a round of applause for his 'show', but his dignity and bottom were both slightly bruised.
It was hysterical though

To level it ,
I walked out of a garage after paying the bill for filling my car with diesel, and I tripped down a non existant kerb and stumbled the entire length of fuel pumps in front of a very amused group of people re-fuelling their cars, I literally stumbled forward and forward and forward, and couldnt regain my balance at all, I was sooooooo embarrassed!

__________________
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that 'WHOSOEVER' believes, shall not perish, but have everlasting life.

Whirlwind

Funny, Jax!

I posted this one somewhere else before (in this forum) but I don't know where, so I'll tell it over again.

Christmas time, we went shopping in Portland with Mom when we were little. We stayed at a motel. At the end of the day, we were hauling all of our goodies by the bagsful into the room and the door slipped shut while Mom was still outside.

Then we heard Bang!-Bang!-Bang! as she was kicking on the door to the room next to us. "If you don't open this door right now, you're not getting anything I got you for Christmas!"

It was my Mom, arms full of bags, kicking at the door to the room next to us!

She said some guy, sleepy and ragged-hair, opened the door and was looking at her like: Who are you???

I couldn't stop laughing about that one - I still do - and Mom always gets angry with me when I bring it up, heh.

__________________
Chapter-by-Chapter, verse-by-verse.
Jesus is the Living Word.