Children and Sleep-overs

WordTime · 10-29-2007, 01:45 AM

Do you allow your children to sleep over at a friend's home? If so, what are the guide-lines? For instance, are they allowed to come home in the middle of the night or would you allow your daughter to spend the night at a friend's home who has an older brother?

It seems like times have really changed and I just wanted to get some other opinions on whether the sleep-over is really a good idea anymore. If not, how do you explain to your children that this is not allowed?

violet · 10-29-2007, 03:30 AM

Well, my 2 oldest daughters are 28 and 33 and they always did sleep overs.
My youngest daughter is 11 and no, I will not allow it now.
I learned a little too much about life to feel alright with it.
Satan is on the move, big time, and I don't trust many parents at this point anymore.
My sons have spent the night with guy friends; all Christians.

Whirlwind · 10-29-2007, 08:56 PM

Mom always let us sleep-over, but she also had the invitation open to call back anytime (day or night) if we wanted to come back home.

Also, it was always with someone that she knew (we live in a small town where everybody knows everybody).

Before baby jessie goes out to any sleep-overs, he's going to have to know how to dial 9-11 and our home phone number. And the parents are going to have to fill out applications, he he he. Just kidding (no he's not)...be quiet!

Mark · 11-14-2007, 10:37 PM

World Time,

We have allowed our 4 children to have sleep overs. Some of their best memories are from these fun times. However, we DID have rules and because I work with children I can tell you many, many horror stories!!!

* If you have any doubt - say "no."
* We never let our children pressure us - any sleep overs had to be arranged ahead of time and never, never could our children ask us while the friend was standing there - that was an automatic "no."
* We had to know the parents and the child. Both had to meet our approval.
* Never could they go over if there was to be an older child or sitter. The parents HAD to be home.
* If the child had internet or tv in the bedroom - we said "no."
* Before any movies could be watched, they had to call home to get permission. When they were in grade school we made this rule known to the parent.
* We gave each of our children a lecture on "good touch" and "bad touch" before sleep overs.
* We gave each child a lecture on how to "stand alone" and do the right thing even when others were not doing what was right. Then asked them to call if ever they felt uncomfortable. If they called, we were to come right away and get any explainations in the car - not over the phone. Never did the child have to justify why they wanted to leave.

Hope it works out for your children.

Vision · 11-15-2007, 12:00 AM

nah i wouldnt let my kids do that,

because i didnt use to be a christian and i didnt believe in god and things, and i used to have sleepovers and alcohol and boys with girls and things and because they are all in the same room it makes it worse.

im not saying that happens at all of them, but thats the reason i wouldnt let my kids have sleepovers, if i had kids :s

violet · 11-15-2007, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark

World Time,

We have allowed our 4 children to have sleep overs. Some of their best memories are from these fun times. However, we DID have rules and because I work with children I can tell you many, many horror stories!!!

* If you have any doubt - say "no."
* We never let our children pressure us - any sleep overs had to be arranged ahead of time and never, never could our children ask us while the friend was standing there - that was an automatic "no."
* We had to know the parents and the child. Both had to meet our approval.
* Never could they go over if there was to be an older child or sitter. The parents HAD to be home.
* If the child had internet or tv in the bedroom - we said "no."
* Before any movies could be watched, they had to call home to get permission. When they were in grade school we made this rule known to the parent.
* We gave each of our children a lecture on "good touch" and "bad touch" before sleep overs.
* We gave each child a lecture on how to "stand alone" and do the right thing even when others were not doing what was right. Then asked them to call if ever they felt uncomfortable. If they called, we were to come right away and get any explainations in the car - not over the phone. Never did the child have to justify why they wanted to leave.

Hope it works out for your children.

Good for you, Mark!!!

Boanerges · 11-15-2007, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark

World Time,

We have allowed our 4 children to have sleep overs. Some of their best memories are from these fun times. However, we DID have rules and because I work with children I can tell you many, many horror stories!!!

* If you have any doubt - say "no."
* We never let our children pressure us - any sleep overs had to be arranged ahead of time and never, never could our children ask us while the friend was standing there - that was an automatic "no."
* We had to know the parents and the child. Both had to meet our approval.
* Never could they go over if there was to be an older child or sitter. The parents HAD to be home.
* If the child had internet or tv in the bedroom - we said "no."
* Before any movies could be watched, they had to call home to get permission. When they were in grade school we made this rule known to the parent.
* We gave each of our children a lecture on "good touch" and "bad touch" before sleep overs.
* We gave each child a lecture on how to "stand alone" and do the right thing even when others were not doing what was right. Then asked them to call if ever they felt uncomfortable. If they called, we were to come right away and get any explainations in the car - not over the phone. Never did the child have to justify why they wanted to leave.

Hope it works out for your children.

Well thought out brother, we had much the same system.

DaveS · 11-15-2007, 08:34 PM

I would sleep over at friends places all the time growing up. In highschool it was mostly so we could do drugs without our parents bothering us. I had a car, my friend had connections and parents that didn't care. I think sleeping over is fine, if you konw the parents and child well.

Jax · 12-09-2007, 06:26 AM

I am finding this quite difficult also, my daughters are both at the age when they want to sleep over at their friends houses, however despite going to a church school, most of their school friends are not Christians, and once when I let my older daughter just go for tea at her 'friends' the 'friend' disagreed with her over something and started beating her up!
I am very cautious about it, as we dont know what they are being allowed to watch on TV or what their family is like,
I know it sounds quite judgemental, but my children are precious to me and I want to know what is happening.
It ends up with us having more than our fare share of kids over. but I prefer it that way.

violet · 12-09-2007, 09:27 AM

Jax, it's better to be safe than sorry!
You don't always know the sick people within a family either.
At least your girls can have fun still and you have them home under your care!

10-29-2007, 01:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
WordTime Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Northwest Posts: 24 Rep Power: 0	Children and Sleep-overs Do you allow your children to sleep over at a friend's home? If so, what are the guide-lines? For instance, are they allowed to come home in the middle of the night or would you allow your daughter to spend the night at a friend's home who has an older brother? It seems like times have really changed and I just wanted to get some other opinions on whether the sleep-over is really a good idea anymore. If not, how do you explain to your children that this is not allowed?

10-29-2007, 03:30 AM	#2 (permalink)
violet Join Date: May 2007 Location: England Posts: 8,175 Blog Entries: 13 Rep Power: 10	Well, my 2 oldest daughters are 28 and 33 and they always did sleep overs. My youngest daughter is 11 and no, I will not allow it now. I learned a little too much about life to feel alright with it. Satan is on the move, big time, and I don't trust many parents at this point anymore. My sons have spent the night with guy friends; all Christians. __________________ Violet Matthew 10:38 ....he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

11-14-2007, 10:37 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mark Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Broomall, PA Posts: 272 Rep Power: 3	World Time, We have allowed our 4 children to have sleep overs. Some of their best memories are from these fun times. However, we DID have rules and because I work with children I can tell you many, many horror stories!!! * If you have any doubt - say "no." * We never let our children pressure us - any sleep overs had to be arranged ahead of time and never, never could our children ask us while the friend was standing there - that was an automatic "no." * We had to know the parents and the child. Both had to meet our approval. * Never could they go over if there was to be an older child or sitter. The parents HAD to be home. * If the child had internet or tv in the bedroom - we said "no." * Before any movies could be watched, they had to call home to get permission. When they were in grade school we made this rule known to the parent. * We gave each of our children a lecture on "good touch" and "bad touch" before sleep overs. * We gave each child a lecture on how to "stand alone" and do the right thing even when others were not doing what was right. Then asked them to call if ever they felt uncomfortable. If they called, we were to come right away and get any explainations in the car - not over the phone. Never did the child have to justify why they wanted to leave. Hope it works out for your children. __________________ Mark Strohm, Jr. Thrifty Times

11-15-2007, 08:34 PM	#8 (permalink)
DaveS Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: London Ontario Canada Posts: 272 Rep Power: 1	I would sleep over at friends places all the time growing up. In highschool it was mostly so we could do drugs without our parents bothering us. I had a car, my friend had connections and parents that didn't care. I think sleeping over is fine, if you konw the parents and child well. __________________ Free Bible for Canadians: http://www.freebibleforyou.org/

12-09-2007, 09:27 AM	#10 (permalink)
violet Join Date: May 2007 Location: England Posts: 8,175 Blog Entries: 13 Rep Power: 10	Jax, it's better to be safe than sorry! You don't always know the sick people within a family either. At least your girls can have fun still and you have them home under your care! __________________ Violet Matthew 10:38 ....he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

10-29-2007, 08:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
Whirlwind Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Central Oregon Posts: 2,947 Rep Power: 3	Mom always let us sleep-over, but she also had the invitation open to call back anytime (day or night) if we wanted to come back home. Also, it was always with someone that she knew (we live in a small town where everybody knows everybody). Before baby jessie goes out to any sleep-overs, he's going to have to know how to dial 9-11 and our home phone number. And the parents are going to have to fill out applications, he he he. Just kidding (no he's not)...be quiet!

11-15-2007, 12:00 AM	#5 (permalink)
Vision Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: south london Posts: 108 Rep Power: 1	nah i wouldnt let my kids do that, because i didnt use to be a christian and i didnt believe in god and things, and i used to have sleepovers and alcohol and boys with girls and things and because they are all in the same room it makes it worse. im not saying that happens at all of them, but thats the reason i wouldnt let my kids have sleepovers, if i had kids :s

12-09-2007, 06:26 AM	#9 (permalink)
Jax Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Nr London Posts: 1,239 Rep Power: 2	I am finding this quite difficult also, my daughters are both at the age when they want to sleep over at their friends houses, however despite going to a church school, most of their school friends are not Christians, and once when I let my older daughter just go for tea at her 'friends' the 'friend' disagreed with her over something and started beating her up! I am very cautious about it, as we dont know what they are being allowed to watch on TV or what their family is like, I know it sounds quite judgemental, but my children are precious to me and I want to know what is happening. It ends up with us having more than our fare share of kids over. but I prefer it that way.

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