freedfromdestruction

I could not figure out where to put this so if it needs moved be my guest.
I received this in an email. While I am not sure if this is actual it certainly makes a point.
Abstinence
(By Robert Layton)
I WAS HOLDING A NOTICE FROM my 13-year-old son's
school announcing a meeting to preview the new course
in sexuality. Parents could examine the curriculum and
take part in an actual lesson presented exactly as it
would be given to the students.
When I arrived at the school, I was surprised to
discover only about a dozen parents there. As we
waited for the presentation, I thumbed through page
after page of instructions in the prevention of
pregnancy or disease. I found abstinence mentioned
only in passing. When the teacher arrived with the
school nurse, she asked if there were any questions. I
asked why abstinence did not play a noticeable part in
the material.
What happened next was shocking. There was a great
deal of laughter, and someone suggested that if I
thought abstinence had any merit, I should go back to
burying my head in the sand. The teacher and the nurse
said nothing as I drowned in a sea of embarrassment.
My mind had gone blank, and I could think of nothing
to say. The teacher explained to me that the job of
the school was to teach "facts, " and the home was
responsible for moral training. I sat in silence for
the next 20 minutes as the course was explained. The
other parents seemed to give their unqualified support
to the materials.
"Donuts, at the back, " announced the teacher during
the break. "I'd like you to put on the name tags we
have prepared-they're right by the donuts . . . and
mingle with the other parents. "Everyone moved to the
back of the room. As I watched them affixing their
name tags and shaking hands, I sat deep in thought. I
was ashamed that I had not been able to convince them
to include a serious discussion of abstinence in the
materials. I uttered a silent prayer for guidance. My
thoughts were interrupted by the teacher's hand on my
shoulder. "Won't you join the others, Mr. Layton?" The
nurse smiled sweetly at me. "The donuts are good."
"Thank you, no, " I replied. "Well, then, how about a
name tag? I'm sure the others would like to meet you."
"Somehow I doubt that, " I replied. "Won't you please
join them?" she coaxed. Then I heard a still, small
voice whisper, "Don't go." The instruction was
unmistakable. "Don't go!" "I'll just wait here, " I
said.
When the class was called back to order, the teacher
looked around the long table and thanked everyone for
putting on name tags. She ignored me. Then she said,
"Now we're going to give you the same lesson we'll be
giving your children. Everyone please peel off your
name tags." I watched in silence as the tags came off.
"Now, then, on the back of one of the tags, I drew a
tiny flower. Who has it, please?" The gentleman across
from me held it up. "Here it is!" "All right, " she
said. "The flower represents disease. Do you recall
with whom you shook hands?" He pointed to a couple of
people. "Very good, " she replied. "The handshake in
this case represents intimacy. So the two people you
had contact with now have the disease." There was
laughter and joking among the parents. The teacher
continued, "And whom did the two of you shake hands
with?" The point was well taken, and she explained how
this lesson would show students how quickly disease is
spread. "Since we all shook hands, we all have the
disease."
It was then that I heard the still, small voice again.
"Speak now," it said, "but be humble." I noted wryly
the latter admonition, then rose from my chair. I
apologized for any upset I might have caused earlier,
congratulated the teacher on an excellent lesson that
would impress the youth, and concluded by saying I had
only one small point I wished to make. "Not all of us
were infected, " I said. "One of us . . . abstained."

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violet

freedfromdestruction

Hello Violet,
I am not sure. I do so much on line that I actually forget sometimes where and what I have done. This is an excuse for old age.

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violet

freedfromdestruction

That Light is so revealing!

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Jax

Excellent excellent.
This is the reality though, those of us that would support abstinance are met with increduality.
We are told that 'this' is what teenagers do.
I feel sorry for 'teenagers' that this is all we expect of them, they live up to our expectations.
Two of my own sons fell into this trap, and they have paid the price and my younger children have seen that waving our fist in the face of God through disobedience, brings nothing but pain.

Shannon

What a great story! I am going to share it with my 12 year old. We are very open with her and I have been talking about abstinence for a long time. (I have also talked to her briefly about birth control because if she DOES make the choice to be sexually active when she is older, I want her to have the facts). There was a movie on Lifetime a while back called "Girl Positive" about a girl that had sex with the most popular guy in school. It was her first time and she was pretty excited that it was with him. Later on she finds out he has HIV. I had Emily watch it with me and we talked about how not only HIV can be a consequence, but also pregnancy, and lesser STDs. We've also talked and talked about how once you have a baby, your entire life changes. She wants to go to college and travel and do all of that fun stuff and we keep hammering home that you just can't do that with a baby.

As you can see - this is a topic of some discussion in our house! We are very fortunate that both of our kids are open with us. They will ask us ANYTHING (sometimes we have to blush and collect our thoughts, but we always answer unless it's something personal - even then we give them an answer of some sort).

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I can do everything through Him who gives me strength! Philippians 4:13

There are four things that are too mysterious for me to understand: an eagle flying in the sky, a snake moving on a rock, a ship finding its way over the sea and a man and woman falling in love. Proverbs 30:18-19

freedfromdestruction

May I just share something here if I may. I feel that abstinence should be taught in the Christian home for one reason. That reason being that we are to honor our Lord through obedience which stems from love. I do not feel that it is proper to teach that abstinence for the Christian is to be followed because we might contact an STD. I know of the film you are speaking and I feel it is not Christ honoring because it sends the wrong reason for purity. Our actions are to be done from a heart of love for God, not the threat of a disease, nor should it be love and threat. To do so changes why we are Christians and makes our faith void due to law keeping. If we cannot obey out of personal sacrifice due to love for the Lord then remaining abstinent has no virtue in regards to Christ because we did out of fear rather then love. I hope I am understood on this. God bless

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Shannon

Yeah I figured someone would come back with that.

In my home abstinence is taught whatever way it can be taught. I can tell her "it's the Christian thing to do" and she understands that but it's the cold hard facts that actually stop the activity. Do I wish this was different? Of course.

__________________
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength! Philippians 4:13

There are four things that are too mysterious for me to understand: an eagle flying in the sky, a snake moving on a rock, a ship finding its way over the sea and a man and woman falling in love. Proverbs 30:18-19

Mark

This is a big topic! But foundational in our Christian faith! As Christ is coming for a pure bride and marriage is a a picture and "example" of His ways. (Yes, we can only be pure through His salvation as all have sinned.) It is also about unconditional obedience. As I was growing up in the 70's and 80's, it was very widely believed that the Christian faith and abstinence was completely idiotic! Then HIV struck and suddenly, those who obeyed without completely knowing why - were safe.

Not only that, but many wives are insecure in the marriage when they engage in premarital relations with their future husbands! Time after time after time I have spoken to women who don't trust their husbands. "He slept with me before we were married, how else will he compromise?"

In our home (3 girls from 16-22 and one son 23) we not only have spoken openly about God's desire for sexual relations, but also about how God and His ways always end up superior, even if we don't completely understand in this world.

So it is about understanding His Word and His ways, about following His direction and realizing that no good gift is to be withheld. Some things are meant to be enjoyed at the right time! Most people have never eaten a ripe pineapple. In an effort to ship them to countries where they are not native, they are picked before ripe. When they ripen of the plant they are good, but not as sweet and fantastic as they are when picked ripe off the plant. Unfortunately, many miss out on depth of blessing God wants for them because they lack obedience and humility to follow God's ways.

Fortunately, if we keep our children sheltered as God commands, then chances are we should have plenty of time to teach them obedience and God's ways. Then when they are "tempted" in coming of age and sexual arousal and are able to conceive the sin of sexual gratification outside of marraige (see James 1: 14-15) we should have a good basis to teach them that the feelings are not bad, but we need to wait for God's timing and marraige.

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Mark Strohm, Jr.
Thrifty Times