WordTime

Here is more on Christian parenting...

http://www.nospank.net/bible1.htm


Hope it's helpful.

violet

Boanerges

Jesus is the Word of God and this humanistic philosopy disagrees with the Word of God- as Violet said a little spanking- nobody here is an advocate of physical abuse but the Word of God is a higher standard than the word of any man.

WordTime

Hi Boanerges,

Actually this is a Christian article written by a pastor. I am impressed because I have never agreed with spanking. Hoping that other Christians that share my belief will find inspiration in knowing that they can discipline their children in a positive way and leave the spanking concept where it belongs... in the past.

I think if anyone spanks their children they should be prepared for an accounting. The child may come to you one day and ask, "Why?" They may feel a warped sense of love because they were told "I love you" by the person who just physically hurt them.

We, as parents, should look for the best, most positive way to guide our children.

God Bless

WordTime

Hi Violet,

I have read some of your other posts and you sound like a wonderful Mother. Being so young, I know it must have been difficult. I'm sure now that you are older you have learned many new, better ways to discipline your children.

Here are some positive techniques that work well. If a child over 5 is misbehaving, send them into their room for "downtime". Go in about 2 minutes later and ask them to draw a picture about what they did wrong. Tell them when they are done to bring the drawing to you, sit down at the table and explain what they think they did and why they were sent for downtime (or timeout if you prefer the older lingo). With older children, they can write a short paragraph and look up scriptures that will help them behave in the future. Of course children under 5 won't have the patience to sit in downtime for very long. The best advice for those of us with younger children is to get at the child's level and make eye contact. Tell them what you expect and then take them out of the situation.

I think the reason downtime works so well is because we as adults take downtime. When we as grown-ups feel overwhelmed and unable to handle things, we take timeout. Shouldn't we be modeling this to our children and allowing them the same respect? Yes.

I think you are on the right track now, so keep going in a positive direction.

God Bless

Mark

We should always be careful when we take our own "likes and dislikes" and try to find someone with a supposed Biblical support for what we like.

I am not sure how old you are, but your concepts seem a bit simplistic. To assume an action which causes pain is "wrong" is overly simple. With similar reasoning we would assume most athletics are evil and nearly all operations are evil.

While I understand that there is a hope that a 'better" way exist, the truth is that much of life does not follow our human reasoning. When my oldest son was very little (he is now 23) we were friends with a couple who had a child with a physical problem with his foot. The boy's doctor said that he no longer gave parents a choice between braces and operations. The doctor only did operations. His reasoning was simple. He no longer trusted parents to make the hard choice of forcing their children to wear the braces when they hurt or when the child cried. In short, he said that parents were too soft and often ended up hurting their child far more by not making the hard choice.

I guess you get the point here.

__________________
Mark Strohm, Jr.
Thrifty Times

ARMOROFGOD

We never spanked any of our kids. They are great kids too. No

dope, no premarital wrongs, nothing. Just good kids. 3 boys, 1 girl.

Pops never spanked me so I know what I know. Whatever

works. Those boys respect mom and my girl, well, she's a

jewel alright. Couldn't have prayed for a better troupe.

Mark

In the world of raising children, there are many parts that make up good child rearing. Trying to take one issue and say it does or does not produce "fine" children (though we should be talking about godly children, but that is another story!) is inappropriate.

Some could say they allowed their children to watch R rated movies and they "ended up just fine." Others could say they provided condoms to their child and they "ended up just fine." So the issue is not "ending up just fine" but what does God desire and want in the lives of our children?

Quite honestly, I dislike these discussions because individuals start in an "argumentative" mood - desiring to "win", not to "understand" the mind of God. We are so fast to want to assume we have the mind of God and can understand things because of our experience or our mental awareness, rather than through an immersion into the Word of God.

Quite honestly, after 20 plus years of working with children, I would say 75% of all children, perhaps 90% of all girls would do just fine without spanking. Obviously our world is full of people who are not disciplining out of love or out of self sacrifice and servant hood to their children. We could point them out as great examples of those who did or those who did not "spank" using their results of parenting as an example pro or con!

What disturbs me most about such discussions is a sense that we solve problems or come to conclusions without an understanding of God and His revealed Word.

I have written a short booklet on discipline which you can download at:
http://llbook.colossians2.com/

I think it mentions spanking in two sentences!

Most important is that you love your children! Love them enough to set limits according to God's Word. Love them enough to disciple them! Love them enough to punish them (as God's Word clearly states - the father who loves his child will punish them) when they do wrong! Love them enough to teach and train them. (Duet 6) Love them enough to hold them accountable!

__________________
Mark Strohm, Jr.
Thrifty Times

violet

smellycat

im described as a big ogre in my house ,but in a loving way .im strict and try to learn my kids from right and wrong.respect but a loving father also.