Theophilus

My wifes dad passed in 95 of pulinary disease. emphisema. C O P D. Lack of oxygen to his brain caused dementia and at times extreem violent behaviour. He lived with us until he passed. It was heard on our whole family as the children ,then teens were living at home. He become obcessed with having her present (in his site)and lost all concsienceness of time for about the last 6 months. My wife got very little rest and no peace as taking care of him was a 24/7 job. I was the only other person he would even allow to do anything for him and i had to work to support the family.
He nearly took my wife to the grave with him.

In 2002 my mother with the same deseases come to live with us. She also become dependant on my wife though not so demanding or violent. After the first year I knew that my wife could not survive this again .The hardest thing I ever had to do was turn my mother over to a healthcare facility. But it was do that or loose both my wife and mother.

If not for our lord in my life I could have not endured.

Draw strength from Christ.

Reverantly
Hisd and yours
Cliff

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2Co 12:7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

worshipper

GrannyG: that is exactly how I feel...I am blessed to still have them with me even though Dad will be living somewhere else. He and mom are both provided for. The Lord has been good to us.

Cliff: thank you so much for sharing. You have been a good son and son-in-law to do all that you could and BEYOND what you thought you could do to keep your father in law and mother from being cared for in a facility. I am so glad that your dear wife found the relief from caring for her; she should be greatly honored for caring for your mother. My mother took care of her mother-in-law and my mom hopefully will be living with us for the remainder of her life. My mother, age 84, just knew that caring for my dad as much as she did was being very detrimental to her health; she is resting a bit and we are visiting with dad today before he is transported to the facility tomorrow...

I appreciate your prayers and thoughts...even though we may have neverthought that we may find ourselves in the position of caring for our parents in our homes; we have loved our parents and cared for them as the Lord enabled. I am thankful.

worshipper

Thank You Lord for peace of mind and spirit...and thank you dear ones for your prayers during this time.

Well, I have managed to come out of the anger that I was in and am feeling much better. Dad is safely getting adjusted and we bought him a TV for his room and we haven't heard from him in the past few days. I have made cupcakes and a cake for the 4th of July picnic that they will have tomorrow at Dad's new "home" and we will go briefly to visit.

I have been working through the "daddy" issues and surprisingly enough, my dear hubby says that he has felt the same way with his mother. We are talking about it and I feel much better over my role in all of this...

I appreciate this forum and your input; I am sorry that you have also experienced this or very glad that you haven't (yet).

Love and blessings to you in Christ Jesus

worshipper

Well, I saw dad when I took 4th of July cupcakes for him and his "roommates" at the alzheimers facility. Took flowers for the nurses; a patriotic bouquet. He did not ask us how we were or even seemed happy to see us...he even pointedly asked (blamed is more like it) "why couldn't you get me in at another facility" and since they do not take alzhiemers patients; he could not go there. This was the BEST choice for what he needs and I have been hard on myself over this.He complained (and we looked into the complaints that we can do something about) the whole time we were there. I was very saddened to see him not even trying to "make things better" for himself by trying to have a good attitude, etc. It seems like he is not capable of doing it.

I realized that my father is only acting MORE like he has all of his life and I am mourning the loss of a father that I never had. I am broken hearted; the anger has turned to sadness and I am learning that what "has been" might not have been at all.

I appreciate your prayers...this is another hard thing that has come my way in the past 15 months. The Lord has answered many prayers and been very gracious in providing His grace and mercy in the past months; it is my own "heart work" that I need to continue to work on...

Boanerges

- still praying. It is amazing how God works on our hearts as we pray to have situations changed- know that in the end He will be glorified in and through you my sister.

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Anything that dims my vision for Christ, or takes away my taste for Bible study, or cramps me in my prayer life, or makes Christian work difficult, is wrong for me; and I must, as a Christian turn away from it. – J. Wilbur Chapman

worshipper

It reminds me of the saying "Prayer changes ME"...

Going one day at a time; we are all adjusting to Dad not being here...it is calmer and much quieter but I just ache for where he is at and that he
can't live here with us. I guess that the Lord has already done a a great work of healing in my heart to think that I would rather have him here than about anywhere else (except with my brother or sister but they did not offer)...

Mom is adjusting well, she is 84 yrs young (6 months older to the day than Dad but doing SO much better). She takes care of herself wonderfully, does her own laundry and even helps with housework (dishes, vacuum and watering plants) to keep herself active.

praying for Dad's transition and continued wisdom for whatever comes our way....Thanks Brother Bo for the prayers!!!

worshipper

Thank you all for your prayers

Dad has been moved to a "less severe dementia" unit (entry level); he was in a men only unit due to his aggression toward women and they needed to evaluate him before moving him in with a mixed (men and women) unit. He seems much happier; he asked that we bring his recliner either for his room or the main area. I am glad to hear that he is adjusting better now. I will take his chair to him tomorrow; haven't seen him since the 4th and not looking forward to it but will do my best to put aside any of my feelings and just "go visit" him.