Nearly Lost My Life
Posted 04-05-2008 at 03:06 PM by Bondman
Thursday 4th April, 2008
I'm certainly still not myself today, after a very serious 'incident' yesterday, when I went extremely close to meeting Jesus! As many of you know, I am VERY weak, yet I stay out of bed. However, with CFS (read HERE), you may still have some strength remaining, and I do. It's pretty weird to follow this, but I CAN lift a computer and move it, so long as I don't dilly-dally with the task! That is, I just can't keep HOLDING anything heavy - because what little energy reserves I have left are so low that they quickly ebb away and it would fall to the ground out of my hands. If I stand in one place unaided for over just 1 minute, similarly, I fall to the ground.
Anyway, I did shift computer stuff, and because we love people and our nephew was coming to collect the old computer stuff, and we love him too, I then did some more - instead of going to rest and recover those reserves. Very unwise!
Then we even continued on, trying to put a VERY heavy monitor into a box for him (even more stupid!) - and blow me if it didn't go all wrong! The harder we tried the worse it got, and I broke the packing and lost control of the monitor, but soon I had to just dump it in the box and head for the bed fast as I could - having caused VERY serious damage to myself!!
There I breathed like a dying man trying to get oxygen into my lungs which were screaming for it to keep me alive. No matter how much air I dragged in, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how fast, nothing helped. You can imagine the state my Beloved got into pretty quickly. A feeling of helplessness! Call the Ambulance? - no, they won't arrive in time. What to do?? She talked to me, tried to help me work out how to do breathing the best way. Five minutes passed, and I felt like I was not going to make it, was going to fail to get enough oxygen into my lungs to save my life.
Ten minutes. No improvement. Long before this time I instinctively knew how bad this was, and that if I went unconscious I would simply die there and then. You see my whole body is all just too weak and had-it to be able to keep going by itself. It needed my strong will-power, in survival mode, to make it! - but I wasn't at all sure I could succeed...
I continued to drag the air in and out, in and out, in and out, as more time passed. At around 15 minutes we believed that the crisis time had passed. I'd been as close as a matter of seconds from death, but the Lord had saved me!! Praise be to His name!!! Six hours later I was STILL not out of the problem, but I was safe. Today, I'm still feeling the effects of yesterday - and that's my excuse, okay...
That's the fifth time I've almost died in my life-time of ill-health, but definitely the closest. Yep, I reckon I'll make it okay to 70 in September!
Postscript. Through this we've discovered another bodily problem I have that we were quite unaware of, and our wonderful doctor also. I was putting PILES of oxygen into my lungs, but my heart was only beating a teensy bit faster. It needed to be beating like crazy to save me!
What was happening was that all the extra oxygen I needed and successfully put into my lungs, my heart was quite failing to carry to the rest of my body! No wonder it was nearly, "Hello Jesus!" The Doc will come and see me early next week, but because CFS is so totally mysterious, it's unlikely we'll have an answer. Except NEVER to do as much as I did in a short time, ever again!
- BM *still alive and kicking!*
I'm certainly still not myself today, after a very serious 'incident' yesterday, when I went extremely close to meeting Jesus! As many of you know, I am VERY weak, yet I stay out of bed. However, with CFS (read HERE), you may still have some strength remaining, and I do. It's pretty weird to follow this, but I CAN lift a computer and move it, so long as I don't dilly-dally with the task! That is, I just can't keep HOLDING anything heavy - because what little energy reserves I have left are so low that they quickly ebb away and it would fall to the ground out of my hands. If I stand in one place unaided for over just 1 minute, similarly, I fall to the ground.
Anyway, I did shift computer stuff, and because we love people and our nephew was coming to collect the old computer stuff, and we love him too, I then did some more - instead of going to rest and recover those reserves. Very unwise!
Then we even continued on, trying to put a VERY heavy monitor into a box for him (even more stupid!) - and blow me if it didn't go all wrong! The harder we tried the worse it got, and I broke the packing and lost control of the monitor, but soon I had to just dump it in the box and head for the bed fast as I could - having caused VERY serious damage to myself!!
There I breathed like a dying man trying to get oxygen into my lungs which were screaming for it to keep me alive. No matter how much air I dragged in, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how fast, nothing helped. You can imagine the state my Beloved got into pretty quickly. A feeling of helplessness! Call the Ambulance? - no, they won't arrive in time. What to do?? She talked to me, tried to help me work out how to do breathing the best way. Five minutes passed, and I felt like I was not going to make it, was going to fail to get enough oxygen into my lungs to save my life.
Ten minutes. No improvement. Long before this time I instinctively knew how bad this was, and that if I went unconscious I would simply die there and then. You see my whole body is all just too weak and had-it to be able to keep going by itself. It needed my strong will-power, in survival mode, to make it! - but I wasn't at all sure I could succeed...
I continued to drag the air in and out, in and out, in and out, as more time passed. At around 15 minutes we believed that the crisis time had passed. I'd been as close as a matter of seconds from death, but the Lord had saved me!! Praise be to His name!!! Six hours later I was STILL not out of the problem, but I was safe. Today, I'm still feeling the effects of yesterday - and that's my excuse, okay...
That's the fifth time I've almost died in my life-time of ill-health, but definitely the closest. Yep, I reckon I'll make it okay to 70 in September!
Postscript. Through this we've discovered another bodily problem I have that we were quite unaware of, and our wonderful doctor also. I was putting PILES of oxygen into my lungs, but my heart was only beating a teensy bit faster. It needed to be beating like crazy to save me!
What was happening was that all the extra oxygen I needed and successfully put into my lungs, my heart was quite failing to carry to the rest of my body! No wonder it was nearly, "Hello Jesus!" The Doc will come and see me early next week, but because CFS is so totally mysterious, it's unlikely we'll have an answer. Except NEVER to do as much as I did in a short time, ever again!
- BM *still alive and kicking!*
Total Comments 2
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*hugs* you need to rest and listen to your body BM
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I had never heard of CFS till i read your blog.... it brought me to tears.. b/c you remind me so much of my late grandfather. he did not have CFS. but in his last months he could not get out of his chair.. the act of standing up and to change clothes was too much for him to bear without running out of breath and gasping for air.
reading your post i can imagine your pain being similar to my grandpaws. so i feel like i have witnessed your pain.. my heart really goes out to you. i will continue to pray for you. the positive thing in this is that through this you are still growing in the Lord! Praise God that you have another day to give thanks to Him!. and plz.. be more carefull about work you do. . no more boxing up computers ok? |
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Recent Blog Entries by Bondman
- Nearly Lost My Life (04-05-2008)
