Peter Pan Complex

According to Wikipedia (which as everyone knows is the absolutely infallable and undeniably accurate source of information on the internet =/), "The Peter-Pan psychological type is one characterized by immaturity or certain sorts of psychological, social, and sexual problems." It goes on to say, "the characteristics of a "Peter-Pan" include such attributes as irresponsibility, rebelliousness, pottering about, anger, narcissism, dependency, manipulativeness, and the belief that he is beyond society's laws and norms".

If you are reading this, and know me AT ALL, I think you can see how this would interest me. For those of you who are as clueless as I am most of the time, this is a near-perfect description of my self-image, life philosophy, combined with how others have described me. Most of my life, I've completely embraced the philosophy that it's better to stay a child. I've always held onto that, and I never, EVER wanted to get any older.

But, when I really put my mind to it...this description of it, while much more fitting, kinda scares me. To the point that I question some of my basic philosophies in life.

psychological, social, and sexual problems: Well, my first instinct is to say, no kidding. Socially, I'm still a child...maybe a teen. I still play the same role, and I'm still a LOT more comfortable around people that are 10, 15, 20 years younger than me. With anyone older, I tend to play the role of a kid. Ok...so that really covers the social and psychological issues. Sexual problems kinda speaks for itself in a way, while I seem to have next to no sex drive overall, it STILL seems to be a bit of a weak point for me. But what makes it worse, is that it really shouldn't, and I don't know why it does. Not that I've had a LOT of partners, but physically, the relationships I get into can be described as anything but "Healthy and supportive". Let's face it, at the end of the day, the best way to describe me would be a 12 yo in an adult body. I always feel like I"m trying to "pretend" to be an adult.

So...here's the thing. I can easily come to terms with this really. I mean, I am pretty comfortably in my own skin. But, I also know I've got some issues that I need to work out. But, so much of this really touches on my core values and self-image. So what do I do about it? Do I just accept this, since I've really always embraced the lifestyle, or do I try to "grow up"? In a lot of ways, I really don't want to. Much of what I really like about myself is very heavily tied into this, but at the same time, I can't really commit myself to any kind of healthy relationship until I've grown up and matured a LOT more. At the same time, while I've seen numerous examples of people who have lived their lives with many of the same issues, I haven't found any good examples of people who have overcome it. Should I even try? Or should I simply accept who I am, be confident in it, and seek people who will support me in it? What about relationships? It's great to say that I need to find someone who loves me and accepts me for who I am, but really, such a person would also be acting as the "Wendy" (mother figure) to my "Peter Pan". Is that really healthy? Is that really how I should seek to live my life?