Mopom

... of the subject of Armageddon?

I mean, it also excites me as well... but sometimes I just can't help but think that I'm going to be one of the tormented people in the end times.

Sometimes I don't think that I'm going to Heaven, or deserve to go to Heaven.

I know that Jesus is the Son of God, and that He is my Lord and Savior who died for the sins of man including mine, and that He rose from the dead three days later and that there is no other way but through Him...

But I have problems with an addictive personality... and I spend almost all of my time of this other internet forum that is pretty much the complete opposite of this place.

Most everyone who goes to that forum are devout Atheists/Agnostics... so they're always mocking me and what-not for my beliefs (not all the time, but they do in subject of debate)... and though for a very VERY long time of going there it was completely easy for me to just accept that they were lost and I didn't believe a word they said in terms of God "not existing", but... as that one verse which I forgot the address of says "Bad company corrupts good manners..." I believe it's finally taking it's toll on my faith.

I thought I had finally completely come back to God after earlier this year when I actually considered that Satanism would be a good route for me, and then I repented and practically wanted to die for even thinking for a moment that Satan was the true all-loving God... and that the real God was evil.

I... I still feel stupid for thinking that... though it was so long ago.

But I just... I guess I don't spend enough time in the Word... like my mom says.

She's always begging and pleading with my siblings and I to just spend a little more time with God... and I want to actually.

But sometimes I feel like my siblings will make fun of me for it.

And I know that it's foolish to put the opinions of your siblings above God's... and it is... and I really am going to spend more time with God.

*sigh*... I guess..... I just really...... I don't know.

I guess I just need encouragement from fellow Christians... I just.......

Even though Satan will hear me as I say this:

My biggest fear, is discovering that through my whole life, thinking that I'm a Christian and going to Heaven for eternity... dieing and then spending eternity in Hell. I don't want to be someone who lives their whole life in anticipation for Heaven but then ends up going to Hell.

And I feel like I deserve to go... but I don't want to go... I want to go to Heaven. I want to be with Jesus and God and my whole family and all of my friends in Heaven forever!

... and sometimes the fear of Hell becomes so great that Satan tries to put thoughts into me telling me that maybe none of it really exists... because I get too afraid of the possibility.

I don't WANT to not believe! I don't WANT to be afraid!

I want to be bold in Christ!!! And not care what people think! I want to know 100% that I AM going to Heaven...

I just... I want to know.

Whirlwind

Amen! Throw your hands up and rejoice in Him, Brother! Let His love shine upon you.

Stop going to the other website. It obviously troubles you. If you want to play on the internet, then do it ways that will teach you about Jesus and God.

Find a website where you can download the bible. Go to godtube.com and watch some positive videos. Find some .mp3 hymns online and download them to listen to while you're surfing the internet. There's Christian games out there, even ones that you can play online. Find them and play them. Look for reviews online regarding Christian fiction. That's how I found one of my favorite authors today (T.L. Hines, the Stephen King of Christian Fiction).

And about being afraid of the end? GOOD! That fear is your best weapon right now. Use it. Feel it. Be afraid of the Lord God. That fear tells us that He's in charge...it can blossom a desire to obey His commands.

God is awesome and beautiful, my friend. The more you learn about Him and His Word, the better you're going to feel. Pour your mind into that cup, you're going to be okay.

Mopom

Heh... perhaps I should have specified... I'm actually your sister in Christ. XD

I don't really know about being afraid of God. It seems... wrong to me. If I were a mother I wouldn't want my children to obey me because they were afraid of me, because they know I have the power to punish them... I would want them to obey me simply because they love me, and knew that I loved them... and because they know that when I'm with them they're safe... and..... I think I just answered my own question.

Whirlwind

That was beautiful! (sorry about the brother-thing...gosh, I'm bad at this...just ask Dusty )

Mopom

It's fine. I'm practically brand-new... I just got an avatar a few hours ago. XP

carolinasteve

Mopom, you are going through a step that many Christians go through at some point. I did, and still am. You believe in God and by your own admission, you fear Him, at least as far as the end times are concerned. The one step you have yet to take, I think,by your post, is trust. Yeah, we all know that Jesus said that all we need is believe in Him and accept His act of atonement as our own, and we will be forgiven for our sins. But that is so out of the park of human understanding it is hard to really fully accept,especialy for new Christians, or maybe I should say young Christians-as in those who have accepted Christ yet have not fully commited their lives to Him(raises hand).

I have accepted Christ as my Savior, and I do love HIm, but not as I should. I have not directed my eyes so that they focus entirely on Him. I allow myself to get distracted by temporary distractions like TV or sports, or work. I used to spend all of my interent time on car forums which were similar in their membership to the one you are on. But I have also realized very recently, that those forums,while they satisfied a desire to be with people that shared a common interest I have,that interest is not the one that really matters most to me, nor is that type of interaction the type that I really desire. So I know what you are going through, Im just a few steps ahead of you. This is what I have found out once I turned my head torward Christ:
It is easy to say "believe and trust Him", but as humans, this is a huge request. It is asking us to go against what we know and what we have experienced in our lives here on earth. As the old saying goes, "If it sounds too good to be true, it must be", right? Yes, some hear/heard the gospel and felt something reach inside of them and take hold and dropped to their knees and asked Jesus into their heart and never deviated. But for most,such as myself, and maybe you, it has been more of a process. I am selfish and relunctant, but am slowly being changed through the increased amount of time I spend in prayer and in God's word. And this is after I was actually in the presence of God! Even after that moment, it took years for me to truelly acept Christ as my Savior, and am still somewhat reluctant to submit fully to Him.Why? I don't really know, but I think most of it is fear. And this fear breeds doubt,in oursleves, and in God. These fears, and doubts are from Satan,the great deciever,the father of lies, and they are powerful. But God is more poewrful than Satan's greatest attack against us. Satan is only as powerful, as we allow Him to be. As our faith and trust grows in our Father, we are given the strength and descernment to recognize, and resist these attacks. "Greater is He that is within us, than he that is in the world.

Rest assured, we cannot be saved by works, that nothing we "do" will give us admittance into the Gates of Heaven. That which needs to be done, could only be cone, and already HAS been done, by Christ.

"2Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:
3And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.
4Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.-John 4:2-4(KJV)-Biblegateway.com

It sounds to me that your fear is not really one of the existance of God, but of failing Him. How can you be faithful to Him, until you KNOW him, and what He desires of us. Your heart is with Him as expressed by your deisre to trust Him. But your trust will grow as your devotion grows. You cannot get to know God by going to secular forums and debating His existance. You cannot get to know Him by listening to other peole talk about Him or what His Word says. Regardless of how earnest they sound, what they say is just that,what THEY say. You must read His word. He gave us this book for a reason. He is IN the word. He IS the WORD. Read, and pray. SPend as much time as you can doing these two things, and you will grow in faith, your fears will be abated and you be lifted up before God as His child whom He loves, and whom loves Him.Remember, God does want us to fear Him, but because we love Him and acknowledge WHO HE IS, not because we doubt Him or His promises.

Here's some verses that may encourage you to read the Scripture.(these are copied and pasted from www.biblegateway.com. Check it out. it is an awesome searchable reasource with enormous capabilities.)
"Romans 10:17New International Version (NIV)
Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ"

"Matthew 4:4King James Version (KJV)
But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God"

"Matthew 7:24New International Version (NIV)
[ The Wise and Foolish Builders ] "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock."

"Matthew 13:19King James Version (KJV)
When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side."

"John 5:24King James Version (KJV)
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life."

"John 14:10New International Version (NIV)
Don't you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work"

hoppers

hi. im new here too. brand new actually. and i def agree with whirlwind about playing in good ways online. doors can easily be open to the enemy and that was my biggest concern when reading abot the other message board you go to.. just dabbling in things can open doors that CAN lead to destruction. you joined this forum so you believe so why entertain the enemy? just a thought.. this is written out of love and concern. like i said im new here adn im a new christian so im sorry that i dont have scripture to back this up.. but any help on this is welcome from anyone who wants to add scriptures!! you are in my prayers girl.

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adonaicole

It is not wrong to be afraid, everyone is at some point. It is what you do with that fear. A hurricane is approaching, but their is a calm in the center. I was in the first Gulf War, the first time that we came under chemical attack, I was so scared that I was shaking. I prayed to God to take that fear away and he did. We came under many more chemical attacks but I was never afraid, I had perfect peace. I just put on my chemical suit in lightening speed and trusted in him. We had to sleep to the sounds of bombs dropping and artillery being fired but I was not afraid. I simply trusted in God's divine protection and I made it safely through the war.

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Love one another, for that is pure, undefiled religion.

Don

violet

violet