gratefulgrace

I do hope that your time with the therapist is fruitful and you can find a way out of the anxiety and dissappointment you have had over the years. gratefulgrace

NoDoubt

My therapist has definitely been helpful. Maybe it's the fact that she's a cute young student psychologist is what has made her a bit more effective for me than past therapists... That fact is messing with my mind in some ways...

I'm seeing improvements in my behavior with self-monitoring, but I feel like my spiritual life is suffering. I went to church today for the first time in several weeks. The theme was trust. I have no idea what it looks like to "trust God", as I've had a difficult time finding a role model. Many "spiritual leaders" I have sought out have left me disappointed and bitter. Even the pastor of this church bothers me deeply. I want to trust God, but I don't know how.

I want to read the Bible, but I never seem to learn from it. After all, hour long sermons are often made from a small set of verses, how am I to learn much from reading a whole book of them?

I've been attending a pentecostal church, and every service someone goes off in "tongues", and a few other people relate "messages from God". I've long been skeptical of these, but I'm beginning to have some changes of heart. I seem to be developing a "good with the bad" mentality for church, as I have taken with the world in general.

The pastor gives me vibes of dishonesty. He seems very phony. One moment he'll be shouting about something, the next all choked up, then he immediately shifts to exhortations of giving. He talks a lot about money (or a lack thereof) and has 2 offerings each service. And he's excessively long winded. The only pastor I've ever known to practice that which he preaches was very concise.

On a positive note, the guest speaker today really got me wondering ~ How do I trust God? If I have a burden, a physical affliction (not one that I mentioned here) that will never go away short of a miracle ~ how do I "trust God" with it? How do I get rid of this bitterness and anger?

And one last note - I have managed to take my drinking from excessive to infrequent indulgence. My conscience is quick to let me know when I've messed up and I think I've been doing well with my vices.

Thank you all very much for your support, your time, your words of encouragement, and your advice!

Boanerges

NoDoubt let there be NoDoubt we are praying for you. Expect a breakthru as you press into God's presence!

wingnut

We all are retarded - seriously - it is just a matter of degree.
Most folks just cannot see their short-comings (their colleagues can however).

To acknowledge a weakness/shortcoming is such a powerful step on the road to spirituality (and many skip this step). We all need God. You see your need. God is there to help, wants to help, makes plain that He created us all needing help, will not help those who think they can help themselves etc.

I know nothing about your particular weakness - I apologize for that. It sounds like it is a battle for you. I praise you for turning to God, the real source of help in time of need.

gratefulgrace

I don't think there is anything wrong with checking out the leadership. I believe God can give us discernment in these matters. I attend a Pentecostal church but a very small one and we are all very aware that what people say is really what they do. If you know what I mean. I don't like money beggers either and I shy away from prosperity teaching but tongues and interpretation was part of the early church so I have no problem with that really as long as there is good spiritual leadership in that area.
Trust is not an all encompassing virtue. We can trust God for our salvation according to the promise of scripture but still not trust Him in the area of our daily lives. I believe it will come with maturity in the relationship. The Word of God is called our food so I would suggest focusing on trying to partake regularly. But just as you don't want to pig out on natural food ( it can get hard to digest ) I think the same thing happens with Biblical food. Try reading from a devotional book such as My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers or the Blue Letter Bible site at http://www.blueletterbible.org/
This a great Bible study resource and has several other options for daily devotions. Meditate on the small scriptures and let God speak to you. God will lead you in to larger studies as your mind and spirit gets stronger and more able to deal with it. I am praying for you. gratefulgrace

NoDoubt

I picked up a daily devotional. I'll see what I can learn from it! Thanks!

NoDoubt

I just want to let everyone reading this know something really encouraging that happened to me today.

It started with me getting a traffic ticket. Normally, that ruins my week, and leaves me bitter and resentful for quite a while (I've got a poor driving record and this one may cost me my liscense). Well, after fuming for a few minutes, I realized how wrong I was, and repented immediately.

I spoke some blessings over the cop I had been cursing for the few minutes prior, and sang "I have decided to follow Jesus" to myself until I calmed down.

So, now I've got to fight this ticket. Otherwise my insurance will stray beyond affordable, I'll likely lose my drivers license for a while, and basically be in a world of hurt because of a California driving habit (not slamming on my brakes for yellow lights). But at least I can see I'm improving

Beloved

How about New Testament dvd's?

Is may be easier for you to hear the word, instead of reading...

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Shalom

( SHALOM says: Completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord. )

Beloved
1 Corinthians 14:1 Let Love be your highest goal.

Beloved

Yes, compared to Our Heavenly Dad, we are ALL retarded, that's why we need His Holy Spirit which is your BEST FRIEND and HELPER in the Christian life...

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Shalom

( SHALOM says: Completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord. )

Beloved
1 Corinthians 14:1 Let Love be your highest goal.

KitsapGirl

retard


RET'ARD, v.t. [L. retardo; re and tardo, to delay, tardus, slow, late. See Target.] 1. To diminish the velocity of motion; to hinder; to render more slow in progress; as, to retard the march of an army; to retard the motion of a ship. The resistance of air retards the velocity of a cannon ball. It is opposed to accelerate.
2. To delay; to put off; to render more late; as, to retard the attacks of old age; to retard a rupture between nations. My visit was retarded by business. RET'ARD, v.i. To stay back. [Not in use.]


retardation

RETARDA'TION, n. The act of abating the velocity of motion; hinderance; the act of delaying; as the retardation of the motion of a ship; the retardation of hoary hairs.


retarded

RET'ARDED, pp. Hindered in motion; delayed.


retarder

RET'ARDER, n. One that retards, hinders or delays.


retarding

RET'ARDING, ppr. Abating the velocity of motion; hindering; delaying.


retardment

RET'ARDMENT, n. The act of retarding or delaying.




So yes...we are ALL in some way retarded.

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