gratefulgrace

I am glad that you are connected to a therapist. I am surprised that you were never diagnosed before now, or am I wrong in that assumption. I understand what you were trying to say about social interaction being so confusing and difficult. And about feeling under pressure because people assume you are smart. Well you write and explain things extremely well so I know you are intelligent in that area. Maybe that was also true of Donna Williams and why she wrote her stories.
After the success of her first book she was unable to tour normally as the pressure of constantly meeting people was too difficult. She always was afraid of off the cuff questions and could never manage eye contact. I am not sure how she is doing now. I wish you well and will say a prayer for you that you will find successful ways to manage your condition and that you will aways know God's loving presence with you as you journey through life. gg

Sailor79

As I mentioned in my previous post I have OCD with a long range of symptoms. Most of these symptoms are social related. I don’t just have one type of OCD but many (which most relate to social interaction). When my OCD condition worsened I had to go on short term disability but eventually I lost my job because it was so difficult for me to go into public places. During last week of my job I was hiding under my desk in my cubical. I am seeing a Doctor & I have tried numerous medications. The one I am currently trying seems to help more than ones I’ve tried in the past any how.
When I’m in public or around people I don’t know the severity of my reactions vary. My hands get the shakes. My right arm & even sometimes my head will jerk convulsively. I start to sweat. I begin to stutter when I speak or sometimes I can’t speak at all. (I don't neccesarrly have all these manisfestations at once but it can range from one symptom to all of them depending on how extreme the situation is. These are just the physical manifestations I can exhibit during certain social interactions. The paranoia & thoughts in my head (caused by my OCD) are what cause these physical manifestations & as well the OCD itself causes depression.
I have been getting out more trying to face my OCD. A good place for me to get out is bookstores which are usually quite. When I speak of bookstores, I’m referring to places like Barns & Noble as well as Christian book stores. Sometimes it’s easier than others to deal with the issues.
This past week I actually volunteered for a soup kitchen. I wanted to go mon-fri but for various reasons I was only able to stay the whole day twice & one day I left early & two other days I did not go at all. The next week the soup kitchen opens I plan to return & hopefully be able to attend at least a little bit longer. By doing this I am doing something constructive while I am down & helping others in need as I fight my OCD while I volunteer.
I’m just trying to take small steps. I am trying also (as someone mentioned earlier) to find an online job & I am on a waiting list for an at home job when a spot becomes available. I found this company through my sister who once worked for them. I have not had any luck searching online & finding a legitimate work at home job yet. I do feel much more comfortable talking online. It’s the face to face part that gets me usually, though there are occational exceptions to the “feeling much more comfortable talking online” aspect.
On another note: I hope you don’t think I’m trying to lecture you here but you mentioned earlier: “…at least I'm drug and cigarette free, and even doing better about alcohol.” I felt I needed to say I used to smoke & drink & both are drugs.
To make this long story short, you are not alone. With God’s help we can make it. I know it’s frustrating & hard & we may have our limitations but we need to try even if it’s a little at first until we can try harder & take bigger steps. Sometimes I find it hard to tell if something I’m planning to do will be to hard to deal with or if I’m just paranoid & sometimes I am right & some times I am not. There have been times where I might should have taken bigger steps than smaller ones or vice versa (depending on the situation) but we at least have to try.

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-Sailor79

God Bless

NoDoubt

Grateful grace - I was never diagnosed with anything before. This may have been partially my fault, as I was seeking theraputic help for years, but I always disliked my would-be therapists until this most recent one.

We all have our strengths, and one of mine is compensation I'm hoping therapy will help me repair that which I've been subconsciously compensating for.

Sailor79 - Thanks for the input. Your situation sounds more severe than mine, so I would assume diagnosis and treatment may be a little more direct. Am I wrong? I'm glad you have a medication that works for you

I haven't had a single beer or cigarette for over a week now, which is quite a personal record. I hope I can keep it up, but it's not too difficult just yet

Thanks again, everyone!

Chris

Hi NoDoubt,

how was it at your therapist?

Chris

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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

KitsapGirl

Why focus on the negative of Autism? In the long run you have gifts some of us would envy. They are your strengths.

My son has adhd, with an anxiety disorder. for the longets time we saw this as a negative. Yes there are challenges unique to his condition, but we found that he's very gifted in other areas...while adhd kids have a short attention, they also have something called hyper focus. they are able to completely focus on every detail of something...

...so what I'm saying is that instead of your diagnosis being a curse, it's probably a blesing in at least one area...you just need to discover what that blessing is.

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Boanerges

I consider you a blessing No Doubt.

LivingWaters

No Doubt,

There is a wonderful evangelist named David Ring. If you want to hear a sermon of his, I would be glad to find a link to him. Anyway, David has cerebal palsy and therefore is very hard to understand when he talks. He talks about losing his parents at a young age and living with his "problem". He goes on to say that nobody thought he could graduate from school, but he did. He said people told him that nobody would marry him, who would want to marry a cripple? But he married a beautiful, supportive woman. He said people told him he could never have children, what if he passed down his crippled status? But he did, and they are all beautiful. He said people told him that he could never be a preacher, that nobody would understand him. But he is, and he preaches the word to different people over 200 days a year. He said that he couldn't blame God any longer for his problem. He couldn't blame God for the problems he had walking and talking. He knew God made him that way for a reason, and that is an encouraging thought. David goes on to say "My name is David Ring and I have cerebal palsy, what is your excuse?" Very powerful message. David understood that God didn't make him that way to pick on him, God made him that way to reach other people. His "crippledness" is a powerful tool. Everybody is different, my friend. We are all crippled, that is why Christ came. To make us whole again. Praise God for you.

Sailor79

[quote=NoDoubt;46908]
Sailor79 - Thanks for the input. Your situation sounds more severe than mine, so I would assume diagnosis and treatment may be a little more direct. Am I wrong? I'm glad you have a medication that works for you
quote]
The doctor I see talks with me as a therapist & prescribes me medication as well. So far the medication I am currently on seems to still be improving my state. I was offered a job at a loan office doing secretarial work recently & this job has only 4-5 employees (one of which is a good friend of mine) so I'm going to give it a shot & see how it goes. The job would start in roughly a month. My friend would be training me for the 1st month so that should make things easier & being only a few people who work there instead of a crowded work place (last job I had there was round about 300 employees) so God willing I'll be able to stick it out. I don't know if my situation is any more serious than your or not but it is just a matter of how we deal with the cards we are dealt.

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-Sailor79

God Bless

Sailor79

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-Sailor79

God Bless

Beloved

Keep trekking, One day you will look back and see the lies you believed about yourself and also see it was the great deciever that planted those ideas in your spirit...

You will have days of blessing, but you need to become stronger in the Lord by His Helper the Holy Spirit... and be as patient with yourself as Abba is with you... And loving as well... If Abba believes you are worth His Son then why see only the disabilities you have...

Did His Son die for you so you can dwell on your short comings... Your Father promises abundant life... So maybe you don't have it now, but you will as you grow in Him and obey Him...

I hope I don't mean to come off as judgmental, but you said you drink... I assume that means alcohol to get drunk....

BTW I am not against drinking alcohol but I do not drink to get drunk...

Drunkeness is spoken against in scripture, I think it is classified as a sin... If you are deliberatly sinning, then you leave an open door for your worsed enemy to come and torment, decieve and distract you from the fruits of the Holy Spirit...

Father is a forgiving Dad so repent and He will forgive you and wrap His loving arms around you...

Remember the cost He paid to redeem you

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Shalom

( SHALOM says: Completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord. )

Beloved
1 Corinthians 14:1 Let Love be your highest goal.