NoDoubt

Yeah, Rumely, I get misunderstood a lot.

Butterflywings - I live alone, but not far from family. Church is difficult for me ~ obviously I'm far from perfect, but I can't take all the hypocrisy. Church-goers have been nastier to me than a variety of the "heathens".

I've got a church I'm waiting to attend until after I've learned a bit from therapy. I don't want to go there and make a horrible first impression and never want to return. First impressions destroy me.

That man you speak of must have been very strong. If he even got on your nerves, I can only imagine how the rest of your group treated him. Currently, I lack that persistence, that drive that to keep trying, socially. I'll learn, though. I hope.

I tried "talking to God", and while I never get clear answers, I got the impression that this was all just a matter of time. Pain and time. So I've just got to put up with some pain for a period of time, and somehow I'll grow from the experience, I suppose.

Oy... Patience. Battling thoughts is incredibly tiresome.

Chris

Hi NoDoubt,

I'm glad you're here. I read the whole thread initiated by you and wonder how all this fits together.

You say you have problems approaching people and making friends - but you did so and made contact with a number of people who all want to listen to you, talk to you, and even offer their help. Just here, right now! Or is the Internet not "the real thing" for you?
Why don't you see the net as tool given at you hands by God to help you fulfull your wishes? You do have the ability, you do have the desire, you just have to open your eyes and see that this is just what you want.

The Internet might also offer more to you. To become active somewhere, helping other people, getting an (online) job ... And definitely to socialise, without it becoming a burden to you (you can always take a break).
Think about it and let me know if I can help.

Chris

butterflywings

So glad you have something lined up though, yes strengthen yourself in the Lord, and whatever therapy you need first. Sometimes we anticipate things to be far worse than they really are. Trust the Lord will lead you to some spirit filled people who will welcome you with love and acceptance.

Yes he is quite a bold character, but I think some of it is because of his mother and Christ's love in others who have encouraged him to come out of his shell. It was the love of other spirit filled Christian brothers and sisters who invited him to the bible group. Everyone was very patient and loving towards him, and like I said, the Lord Jesus helped me in this area. This guy had a sense of humour aswell, I think he used humour sometimes to make others feel comfortable, how amazing is that and maybe it was to hide some of the pain he was feeling too. I began to see some of the funny side to some of the things he said and did. Sometimes he would say things that were so far off topic and unrelated to the subject, it was funny at times. God bless him.[/quote]

The reason why I talk of the bible study in the past tense, is because it is no longer running, and I have moved further away.

'Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" Mathew 11:28

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27

I will pray for the Lord to bring you rest and peace.

God bless

butterflywings

Chris

And let me just add: And if you encounter problems there (at that church) or feel not welcomed or something else you fear now to happen: come to us afterwards and let us know, talk about it, and cheer you up. We are here to help you, brother.

Chris

__________________
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

NoDoubt

Chris - To tell you the truth, internet just doesn't quite cut it for me. I wish I had people I could call and talk to or hang out with. All the people I had like that were terrible influences, however. So I've stopped hanging out with them and now I have no one. But at least I'm drug and cigarette free, and even doing better about alcohol.

This forum has certainly been of great value, I just can't quite satisfy that need for companionship with text.

Butterflywings - I'm not afraid of the church, I'm afraid I'll screw up my chances there by being all wierd and quiet.

Matthew 11:28 is a good verse. I used to have that memorized. I need to start memorizing scripture again. I don't know why it's so hard for me.

Born2LoveYou

Its sad to see that Churches have the sort of people who make you feel like an outsider because you are different.
Its not whats on the outside, Its whats on the inside.

My Church has nearly all types of people in, (hope this doesnt sound judgemental) But, Tall, Short, Slim, Large, Black, White old, young... the list goes on... But everyone in my Church treats everyone else with respect and shows love towards them, like you should in a Church.

__________________

Chris

Okay, I somehow can understand this . Text is not the same as meeting peple face to face, for me as well. Although people seem to be different here as well. Just think of those who more and more neglect their real-world social contacts for being online longer...

Anyway, what is it you miss when you are just chatting with people text-based? Is it the feeling of a certain intimacy when you meet with friends? Or the richer communcations? I understood that exactly those multiple channels of information are what makes it difficult for you to join others? So this single channel communication here might meet your needs better I thought?
Or what is it you miss when not "hanging out" with someone? If it's not consuming drugs, isn't it chatting, joking, arguing...? Isn't that what you can well do in the net? Don't get me wrong, of course it is not the same. But it is something you can do whenever you want with whoever you want, without exposing you to the things you are afraid of. Isn't it?

Or is it a practical thing, is typing too tiresome for you? Or is it not interactive enough? Have you tried voice-based chats? Might this be an option?

I still don't get it (sorry, I'm slow in getting others' points)

Chris

__________________
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

carolinasteve

I would say that the 2 things that are vital in forming a meaningful bond that text cannot ever offer, are touch, and expression. Is that what you are missing, NoDoubt? There is something about a freindly slap on the back, punch in the arm, or handshake. It is one thing for people to be willing to stand there a couple of feet away and talk to you or listen to you, but when they extend their arms offering a comforting embrace, or just give you a knowing elbow to the ribs when youve shared a joke, it takes the exchange to a whole different level. NoDoubt, I know it's easy to say that you need to give people a chance, to give them the benifit of the doubt. I can't do it easily, and I share many of your insecurities for different reasons. Im very self concious around people, especially people I have just met. I hardly speak at all, when I'm in a group atmoshpere. I can't tell you how many times I've ben accused of being "too quiet." I think it makes people uncomfortable, for reasons I can't comprehend.
Yes the intenet and mobile phones makes us accessible to a point never before achieved in history, but fellowship with each other in person is what I think God wants more for us than to sit in a room our whole life typing and reading. He gave us facial expression, the desire to put our arms around each other for a reason. If face to face interaction is what you desire, God will provide theway for that to happen, because that's when we are at our best, when we are within arms reach. I don't have any encouraging scripture memorized to offer with my post, unfortunately, because I am just starting to read the BIble again, and have not really been able to memorize what I have read so far, and have forgotten alot of what I read when I was studying so long ago.( I know Ive read it, I just don't know where it is, and who said it type of deal, ya know?)

gratefulgrace

I am sorry to hear how distressed you are at this news. I have worked for several years in a school and I know a bit about autism. If your diagnosis is High functioning autism, you are DEFINITELY not retarded. You may even have a higher than normal IQ. That said I am sure with all the issues you face it must seem like you are running on uneven tires most of the time. Very bumpy.

First of all God made you the way you are. He knows how you think and how you perceive your world. It is different than many others but that doesn't make it bad. It can be a good thing. But you must get yourself some support to help you understand what this means.

Are you in school? If so you need to get your doctor to forward your assessment to the school so they can help you with your classes. If you are already out of school try going online to get some connections with other people with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Understanding why you are the way you are may help you appreciate that it is not bad just different.

There are many famous people with ASD You may choose to read Donna Williams books Nobody Nowhere and Somebody Somewhere. They are her story and easy to read. She has Autism and they may be a good first step in understanding your condition.
http://www.nobodynowhere.com/

Google it and there is lots of info out there. Try to find local support for the social stuff too. Peace gratefulgrace

NoDoubt

Now I don't get this... I've actually been fairly upbeat the past several days. My mood suddenly elevated a few days ago, without apparent reason. It has also seemed, at times, to dip for no apparent reason, not so much into sadness as to anger. My emotions are just toying with me, now.

I'm very confused. I'm looking forward to seeing my therapist, tomorrow. Thanks for the support, everyone.