So I found out I'm retarded... - Page 2

Beloved · 10-18-2007, 02:35 PM

Howdy,

What is this health problem going to stop you from doing

You cannot get married

You cannot have offspring

You cannot hold down a job

Does autism make you depress for the rest of your days

I don't understand

Boanerges · 10-18-2007, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rumely

You ask a lot of "why" questions, which is only natural. I have come to accept that I'm simply not going to know a lot of the "whys" in this life. If you live your life for God, He will not allow it to be wasted. For me, it is a simple matter of trust, having come to know His nature, that my obedience to Him, my struggling with my weaknesses and limitations and foolishness, offered up to Him as service and worship, will not be wasted, will not go unnoticed. Whew, lot of commas in that sentence. This autism, and the issues that go with it, is the burden you have been given to bear. Why did God saddle you with this? Why doesn't He just fix it? I don't know, but He knows, and His knowing is sufficient. That doesn't necessarily make it easier, but know that He has not left you dangling in the wind, too defective for Him to notice.

Well said brother!

Whirlwind · 10-18-2007, 06:22 PM

NoDoubt...by man's measurement they may have found something wrong with you. Mankind has always searched with a microscope to find fault in one another. Mankind isn't always right.

Just by reading what you've written, judging by the heart, I see nothing wrong with you. You're, dare I say, more intelligent than some people that I know (who have degrees from some of the best universities in the country!)

What you're telling us is from your heart. Not your brain. This pain that you're feeling comes from other men putting a label on you...not from God.

True story: Up until the fifth grade or so, I thought that there were more Indians in the world than there were white people. I grew up on the reservation, was schooled there, lived there, ate there. Then, slowly, I discovered that I was an Indian. I was shocked! I learned about treaties and measles blankets and the Oregon Trail. I learned about prejudice and genocide and all kinds of awful things. Suddenly, I didn't want to be an Indian, it wasn't fair!

But God made me what He made me. He created me an Indian. He made me tall. He made my hair black. I'm a big muscular guy. I've been to college and I'm a supervisor at work. The supervisor part, I can change that anytime I want. I can even change my hair color (I've tried it in the past). But I can't change my height. I can't change my skin color. I can't change the fact that I'm Indian.

Over the years, I learned that being Indian isn't a curse. It's a blessing! Indians can do anything else that other people can do, I'm living proof of that.

I suspect that over a period of time, you're going to realize that what God has made you isn't a curse either. You're going to see that you're able to do things that other "normal" people are able to do.

Heck, judging by how you're able to express yourself so beautifully...my friend, you're already there!

God bless you.

Boanerges · 10-18-2007, 06:30 PM

People with straight hair curl their hair, people with curly hair straigthen thiers, dye it, have surgery etc,-We must trust the artist- we are all farfully and wonderfully made.God has placed unique talents, gifting and callings in each of our lives0 one is not better than the other but indeed each vessel in the Masters house has a nitch that only that person can fill- praise God for how He made us -

1Ki 10:9 Blessed be the LORD thy God, which delighted in thee, to set thee on the throne of Israel: because the LORD loved Israel forever, therefore made he thee king, to do judgment and justice.
BLESSED BE THE LORD THY GOD WHICH DELIGHTED IN YOU- WHO LOVED YOU SO MUCH HE WOULD PAY ANY PRICE FOR YOU-
BLESSED BE THE LORD THY GOD WHO SET YOU JUST WERE YOU ARE- IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EXACT CIRCUMSTANCES HE SET YOU IN- IN THE EXACT POSITION YOU ARE IN, SURROUNDED BY THE EXACT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE-
BLESSED BE THE LORD THY GOD WHO LOVES YOU WITH AN EVERLASTING LOVE
BLESSED BE THE LORD THY GOD WHO GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO SHARE HIS LOVE, HIS MERCY, HIS GOODNESS AND HIS WORD WITH ALL WHO PASS THRU YOUR SPEAR OF INFLUENCE

NoDoubt · 10-18-2007, 07:07 PM

Thanks for the kind words everyone...

Spiritlead - I know it's spirits coming against me. I'm certain of it. But they never leave me alone. On rare occasions they leave me in peace, but I feel perpetually under assault these days.

Rumely - I don't seem retarded, until you try to carry on a face-to-face conversation with me. Communicating textually allows more time to formulate a response, and I'm not expected to interpret myriad signals in addition to the words.

I can use words fairly well, all by themselves. Ask me, however, to use them in conjunction with gestures, expressions, and tones while simultaneously interpreting those I am recieving and I'm at a loss. One on one, I can mask my inabilities to some degree. If there are 2 or more people around, I just can't keep up, socially. So I shut up. And vanish.

DaveS - I don't mean to sound callous, but at least your cousin gets sympathy. People are aware of his mental condition and act accordingly. I, however, simply seem strange ~ and nuerotypicals tend to be very unkind to the strange but otherwise unhindered individuals.

Beloved - My health is stable, though I'm painfully small by American standards. Being wierd AND small does not make me attractive, so marraige and offspring seems completely out of reach when even acquiring a girlfriend is excruciatingly difficult.
Holding down a job is difficult because it's so hard for me to focus on anything, even things I enjoy. Employers think I'm smart but lazy.

WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M SMART?! I hate that! It puts this haze of expectations around me. I fail them all, and then people hate me even more. Yes - depression is a symptom of Autism, apparently, and would explain why I was depressed before I even knew the concept thereof. Suicide has been on my mind since I was 4, I don't even remember it (nor much of my childhood), but I found that out from my mom.

And Whirlwind - As if it weren't enough that I was wierd, I was also harassed for being short, fat, and pasty my whole life. You said it yourself, you're a big guy. Life is much easier for big guys. Especially those with naturally occuring melanin.

Boanerges - I have never heard of a tall person wanting to be short, a skinny person wanting to be fat, a colored person wanting to be pasty, or a normal person wanting to be wierd. I seem to be all the things that people DONT want to be.

Even those things that I used to consider my strengths are collapsing in front of me. I'm losing friends, losing income, losing abilities, losing track, losing everything. My life is falling apart while I watch, and I can't take it.

Boanerges · 10-18-2007, 07:16 PM

I am so sorry for your pain- I would like to share this though: The places where are I leaned upon crashed down around me where the places of some of my most profound encounters with Jesus! I will be praying for you NoDoubt.

Beloved · 10-18-2007, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoDoubt

Thanks for the kind words everyone...

Beloved - My health is stable, though I'm painfully small by American standards. Being wierd AND small does not make me attractive, so marraige and offspring seems completely out of reach when even acquiring a girlfriend is excruciatingly difficult.
Holding down a job is difficult because it's so hard for me to focus on anything, even things I enjoy. Employers think I'm smart but lazy.

Yes - depression is a symptom of Autism, apparently, and would explain why I was depressed before I even knew the concept thereof. Suicide has been on my mind since I was 4, I don't even remember it (nor much of my childhood), but I found that out from my mom.

Even those things that I used to consider my strengths are collapsing in front of me. I'm losing friends, losing income, losing abilities, losing track, losing everything. My life is falling apart while I watch, and I can't take it.

Like the prophet of old, I see a small cloud arising from a distance, the size of a mans hand

I hear distant thunderings and rummblings.

I smell rain in the wind, the heavens are parting

Upon a dry and WEARY people so shall My rains come

Refreshing rains to heal my people.

Thus sayeth the Lord

Do not step were you do not know, sayeth the Lord.

Walk with Me, and we will be One. Take My hand and I will take you to great and wonderful places you know not of.

I Will be your Father Mother Sister Brother. I Will be your Best Friend.

Sacrifice all for me and I will give you more than you can imagine. Thus sayeth the Lord.

Beloved · 10-18-2007, 08:29 PM

Have a dear friend............................

whose suffers from Bi-polar yet she prays in warrior like prayers to everyone she encounters, she's got a personality that won't quit. She alway lifts us up, gives wise advice and is loads of fun to hang out with.

another friend is terribly abused by not only her husband but her grown children who copy their fathers behavior towards her. In the past 2 years though she is not haggard but has blossomed like a beutisul rose, and looks 15 years younger, and has a contenence about her.......Wellllll....... she glows and her personality blesses everyone...

another good friend is a tiny thing 4' something and flat so unless you see her feminine face you'd think she was a littleboy... She fosters abused and handicapped infants and children... She glows too by the way...

Another which was born with cerebral palsy, in a wheelchair witnesses on the streets to drug addicts, prostitues, criminals.

I could go on and on

get the picture... I don't know one person with faults and handicaps that has allowed themselves not to serve the Lord...

Though they have mountains of problems they are all rich in the Lord and it shows.

Have you ever been on anti-depress

ive meds ????????

Much love to you

da_man · 10-18-2007, 08:32 PM

Wasn't Zacchaeus a small person?

Sailor79 · 10-19-2007, 12:06 AM

I myself have a extreme case of OCD which causes a variety of troubles when interacting with other people in society causing great paranoia & depression. I have found a good Dr. who has been very kind & helpful. With the help of God & the help of the Dr which God has placed for me I am determened to overcome. We can do it together!!! Dont give up, you never know what the future has to offer.

10-18-2007, 02:35 PM	#11 (permalink)
Beloved Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: West Posts: 1,348 Rep Power: 2	Howdy, What is this health problem going to stop you from doing You cannot get married You cannot have offspring You cannot hold down a job Does autism make you depress for the rest of your days I don't understand __________________ Shalom ( SHALOM says: Completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord. ) Beloved 1 Corinthians 14:1 Let Love be your highest goal.

10-18-2007, 08:29 PM	#18 (permalink)
Beloved Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: West Posts: 1,348 Rep Power: 2	Have a dear friend............................ whose suffers from Bi-polar yet she prays in warrior like prayers to everyone she encounters, she's got a personality that won't quit. She alway lifts us up, gives wise advice and is loads of fun to hang out with. another friend is terribly abused by not only her husband but her grown children who copy their fathers behavior towards her. In the past 2 years though she is not haggard but has blossomed like a beutisul rose, and looks 15 years younger, and has a contenence about her.......Wellllll....... she glows and her personality blesses everyone... another good friend is a tiny thing 4' something and flat so unless you see her feminine face you'd think she was a littleboy... She fosters abused and handicapped infants and children... She glows too by the way... Another which was born with cerebral palsy, in a wheelchair witnesses on the streets to drug addicts, prostitues, criminals. I could go on and on get the picture... I don't know one person with faults and handicaps that has allowed themselves not to serve the Lord... Though they have mountains of problems they are all rich in the Lord and it shows. Have you ever been on anti-depressive meds ???????? Much love to you __________________ Shalom ( SHALOM says: Completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord. ) Beloved 1 Corinthians 14:1 Let Love be your highest goal.

10-19-2007, 12:06 AM	#20 (permalink)
Sailor79 Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 71 Rep Power: 1	Ocd I myself have a extreme case of OCD which causes a variety of troubles when interacting with other people in society causing great paranoia & depression. I have found a good Dr. who has been very kind & helpful. With the help of God & the help of the Dr which God has placed for me I am determened to overcome. We can do it together!!! Dont give up, you never know what the future has to offer. __________________ -Sailor79 God Bless

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

10-18-2007, 06:22 PM	#13 (permalink)
Whirlwind Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Central Oregon Posts: 2,964 Rep Power: 3	NoDoubt...by man's measurement they may have found something wrong with you. Mankind has always searched with a microscope to find fault in one another. Mankind isn't always right. Just by reading what you've written, judging by the heart, I see nothing wrong with you. You're, dare I say, more intelligent than some people that I know (who have degrees from some of the best universities in the country!) What you're telling us is from your heart. Not your brain. This pain that you're feeling comes from other men putting a label on you...not from God. True story: Up until the fifth grade or so, I thought that there were more Indians in the world than there were white people. I grew up on the reservation, was schooled there, lived there, ate there. Then, slowly, I discovered that I was an Indian. I was shocked! I learned about treaties and measles blankets and the Oregon Trail. I learned about prejudice and genocide and all kinds of awful things. Suddenly, I didn't want to be an Indian, it wasn't fair! But God made me what He made me. He created me an Indian. He made me tall. He made my hair black. I'm a big muscular guy. I've been to college and I'm a supervisor at work. The supervisor part, I can change that anytime I want. I can even change my hair color (I've tried it in the past). But I can't change my height. I can't change my skin color. I can't change the fact that I'm Indian. Over the years, I learned that being Indian isn't a curse. It's a blessing! Indians can do anything else that other people can do, I'm living proof of that. I suspect that over a period of time, you're going to realize that what God has made you isn't a curse either. You're going to see that you're able to do things that other "normal" people are able to do. Heck, judging by how you're able to express yourself so beautifully...my friend, you're already there! God bless you.

10-18-2007, 06:30 PM	#14 (permalink)
Boanerges Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: St Rose LA Posts: 16,835 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 18	People with straight hair curl their hair, people with curly hair straigthen thiers, dye it, have surgery etc,-We must trust the artist- we are all farfully and wonderfully made.God has placed unique talents, gifting and callings in each of our lives0 one is not better than the other but indeed each vessel in the Masters house has a nitch that only that person can fill- praise God for how He made us - 1Ki 10:9 Blessed be the LORD thy God, which delighted in thee, to set thee on the throne of Israel: because the LORD loved Israel forever, therefore made he thee king, to do judgment and justice. BLESSED BE THE LORD THY GOD WHICH DELIGHTED IN YOU- WHO LOVED YOU SO MUCH HE WOULD PAY ANY PRICE FOR YOU- BLESSED BE THE LORD THY GOD WHO SET YOU JUST WERE YOU ARE- IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EXACT CIRCUMSTANCES HE SET YOU IN- IN THE EXACT POSITION YOU ARE IN, SURROUNDED BY THE EXACT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE- BLESSED BE THE LORD THY GOD WHO LOVES YOU WITH AN EVERLASTING LOVE BLESSED BE THE LORD THY GOD WHO GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO SHARE HIS LOVE, HIS MERCY, HIS GOODNESS AND HIS WORD WITH ALL WHO PASS THRU YOUR SPEAR OF INFLUENCE

10-18-2007, 07:07 PM	#15 (permalink)
NoDoubt Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 93 Rep Power: 2	Thanks for the kind words everyone... Spiritlead - I know it's spirits coming against me. I'm certain of it. But they never leave me alone. On rare occasions they leave me in peace, but I feel perpetually under assault these days. Rumely - I don't seem retarded, until you try to carry on a face-to-face conversation with me. Communicating textually allows more time to formulate a response, and I'm not expected to interpret myriad signals in addition to the words. I can use words fairly well, all by themselves. Ask me, however, to use them in conjunction with gestures, expressions, and tones while simultaneously interpreting those I am recieving and I'm at a loss. One on one, I can mask my inabilities to some degree. If there are 2 or more people around, I just can't keep up, socially. So I shut up. And vanish. DaveS - I don't mean to sound callous, but at least your cousin gets sympathy. People are aware of his mental condition and act accordingly. I, however, simply seem strange ~ and nuerotypicals tend to be very unkind to the strange but otherwise unhindered individuals. Beloved - My health is stable, though I'm painfully small by American standards. Being wierd AND small does not make me attractive, so marraige and offspring seems completely out of reach when even acquiring a girlfriend is excruciatingly difficult. Holding down a job is difficult because it's so hard for me to focus on anything, even things I enjoy. Employers think I'm smart but lazy. WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M SMART?! I hate that! It puts this haze of expectations around me. I fail them all, and then people hate me even more. Yes - depression is a symptom of Autism, apparently, and would explain why I was depressed before I even knew the concept thereof. Suicide has been on my mind since I was 4, I don't even remember it (nor much of my childhood), but I found that out from my mom. And Whirlwind - As if it weren't enough that I was wierd, I was also harassed for being short, fat, and pasty my whole life. You said it yourself, you're a big guy. Life is much easier for big guys. Especially those with naturally occuring melanin. Boanerges - I have never heard of a tall person wanting to be short, a skinny person wanting to be fat, a colored person wanting to be pasty, or a normal person wanting to be wierd. I seem to be all the things that people DONT want to be. Even those things that I used to consider my strengths are collapsing in front of me. I'm losing friends, losing income, losing abilities, losing track, losing everything. My life is falling apart while I watch, and I can't take it.

10-18-2007, 07:16 PM	#16 (permalink)
Boanerges Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: St Rose LA Posts: 16,835 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 18	I am so sorry for your pain- I would like to share this though: The places where are I leaned upon crashed down around me where the places of some of my most profound encounters with Jesus! I will be praying for you NoDoubt.

10-18-2007, 08:32 PM	#19 (permalink)
da_man Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Oregon Posts: 771 Blog Entries: 5 Rep Power: 2	Wasn't Zacchaeus a small person?