Lumina

I'm not having difficultly decideing what is right for me but I'm having difficulty communicating it with my mom. For example: I go to a penecostal church right now, but I also attend my friends church of the brethern. I love it at her church and I have a longing to be there, but when I go to my original church, I don't feel anything. I can't grow there, but my mom demands I be there because she feels like she's loosing me since I'm always either at work or school or with my boyfriend. I don't like spending time with her either because she tares me down about everything. I try to let it go but she hurts me with her words sometimes. I just can't be around her. Then, she tells me that I can NOT get married until I'm 24 or she won't pay for my wedding. I have a serious boyfriend, who I believe and have peace in my spirit about that he is the one, and we have talked about marriage before. We want to get married by 22. But right there I can't even tlak to my mom about my relationship because she'll go balistic. I just don't know what to do. I want to still be respectful to my relationship with her but at the same time, I have to separate myself from her and she just wont let go.

Boanerges

Hi Lumina and welcome to CFS! It sounds as though your mom is having some control issues. Some parents indeed have trouble letting go. In this and all other cases we should always be lead of the Lord in such desicsions. Pray and get a witness in your spirit about what God would have you do- that is the course you must follow. God must come before all in our lives, including the ones we love.

I was just wondering Lumina have you ever invited your mom to visit your church? Perahps a vist will calm her fears and there is always the possibility she could be touched by God.

DaveS

Well, this all comes down to how old you are.

If you're an adult, she should not be trying to control you. But if you're a Teenager, you should remember to Honor your Father and Mother. Try to find time with your mom. Perhaps one night a week watch a movie with her, spend time with her or what ever. That way Church isn't the only think you do together, and hopefully, she'll be ok with you going to another church.

Always Remeber. Your Mom loves you. Besides God, nobody has ever done as much for you/showed as much unconditional love as a Mother.

Boanerges

Dave and I are in agreement with this: love your mama- you only get one! Even misguided parents generally mean well. As a young adult you have to make your own way but that in no way negates the honor thy mother and father statement!

Whirlwind

DaveS is a wise man, listen to him. It might not always be easy to do the right thing, but if you follow your mom's advice (honor her) you'll see that she only has your best interests in mind. You're her very own flesh and blood. She gave birth to you; she's not trying to harm you, she loves you.

Where's your father? Do you have brothers or sisters? If you're the only one that your mother has, she may find it very difficult to let you go.

God bless.

Boanerges

I also love and honor my mother but I am not willing to blindly follow her- seek God first- He is the only one who can really show you how to love your mother in the first place. Jesus also said He came to divide and bring a sword. I am not saying this is your case but GOD ALWAYS COMES FIRST- seek His will.

Lumina

Not the new one I'm attending. She wouldn't like it because they are very laid back. Not everyone dresses up for church. Some only wear jeans and a tee, but they are respectful to others who think they should dress up. The same with speaking in tounges because, I believe in it while their church in general doesn't although, they don't lecture me as to why I shouldn't. I believe and that's my choice and they respect it.

Lumina

I'm 18 and a half. Technically an adult, but only by law apparently. and I know she loves me, I just need to pull myself away from her but she hates it.

Lumina

I have my dad and he lives with us and two sisters. I'm the oldest and she admits I am the guinea pig for her. I hate it because that is the way it has always been. And I have tolerated it for so long, but now she's telling me what decisions I can make for myself like when to get married and she told me when I get married I have to have a house. And she get's mad when my plans don't line up with the ones she has for me. I know she wants whats best for me, especially since she didnt have someoen looking out for her when she was younger but I'm not her. She insists she doesn't treat me this way because of how she was raised but I can see it. She was bad when she was younger, drinking, drugs, sex. I have had every opportunity to do what she did when she was younger but I have never done any of it. I'm stronger than she was because I have the lord in my life. I don't like it when she tells be that in spite of the fact that I have God, I can still be lead astray. Its true but if my own mother has no faith in me then, well, I do get upset.

Boanerges

Lumina you seem like a nice young lady with a good head on your shoulders.You also seem to have a good spirit about you- the world will indeed send many temptations your way but if you cling to Jesus you will always overcome. Momma is just being momma- parents sometimes have a hard time adjusting to the facty that their kids don't stay kids forever. It can be a difficult time but making your own decisions is part of maturing and it is quite natural for you at this age to do so. Still don't discount everything mom or dad tells you because with age can somtimes come wisdom. Love , listen, pray and be led of God, you cant go wrong that way- many blessings on your day- brother Larry