Boanerges

WasLost I love you with as a brother and I can feel (sense) the awesome powerful love our Lord has for you- He is longing to bring you near and heal all the wounds of your heart, as you draw closer to Him you will realize that all the guilt and condemnation is something to be left behind. There is no condemantion IN HIM and HE will in no wise cast you out. He paid the price for ALL OUR SINS and when He said "it is finished" He meant it- now is the time to apply His forgiveness to yourself.
be encouraged brother.

WasLost

For so long, I was a LEGITIMATE AND REAL enemy of God and Christ. I was not one to commit obvious or public blasphemies, but I denied God's very existence. I chastised those of faith and dismissed them as barely human. More than my trespasses against God are my trespasses against my fellow human beings.

Can forgiveness and redemption be so simple? Can it come in a dream? I don't deny the grace in which I was brought out of darkness, but I feel so weighted down and burnened with shame and guilt. I've commited so many transgressions against God that I feel like the prodigal son who wants to come home but cannot fathom acceptance into God's keeping after all I've done against him.

I sit here, awake in the late hours and ponder what to do. How can I atone for my sin? How can God look upon me after all I've done and find forgiveness? These are the thoughts that have kept me awake so many nights lately.

WasLost

epistemaniac

How can you atone for your sin? Well thats the point isn't it? You can't, never could, never will.... that is why Jesus had to come my friend, if you could atone for your sins, jesus wouldn't have ever needed to come. Only He could atone for sins, and you must rest in Him. He is God aftter all, so your sins are not too much for Him to bear, in fact, look to the Cross... what do you see? You see that Jesus is on the Cross bearing the sins of His people, and as He does so, He fulfilled the following prohecy, note especially verses 5 and 6, though the whole passage is just an incredible testimony to what Jesus went through so as to forgive the sins of His people:

Isaiah 53:1-12 (ESV)
1 Who has believed what they heard from us? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
2 For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.
5 But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people?
9 And they made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for sin, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
11 Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong, because he poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors; yet he bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors."

So don't try to atone for your sins, Jesus has done that already.... and I have always remembered this little saying... if the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future If the devil tries to bring you down by pointing out your sin, you can think to yourself that he is right... you ARE a sinner... but you can be thankful for your sin being pointed out so that you can go to the throne of grace for forgiveness and mercy.... if the devil sees you contantly going to the Father... well... that is exactly what he (it) doesn't want to see! Remember that when Jesus died we are told in the gospel of Matthew 27:51 that the curtain was torn in two... this is significant for it tells us that the way into the holy of holies in the tabernacle was now open to us, His followers... no longer do you have to go through the priest in order to get to God....
Hebrews 6:19-20 (ESV)
19 We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain,
20 where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek....

Hebrews 9:1-3 (ESV)
1 Now even the first covenant had regulations for worship and an earthly place of holiness.
2 For a tent was prepared, the first section, in which were the lampstand and the table and the bread of the Presence. It is called the Holy Place.
3 Behind the second curtain was a second section called the Most Holy Place....

Hebrews 10:11-25 (ESV)
11 And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins.
12 But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God,
13 waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet.
14 For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.
15 And the Holy Spirit also bears witness to us; for after saying, 16
16 "This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my laws on their hearts, and write them on their minds,"
17 then he adds, "I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more."
18 Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer any offering for sin.
19 Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus,
20 by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh,
21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God,
22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.
23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.
24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,
25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

He is faithful!! He provided a way for sin to be forgiven, for your sn to be thrown away, as far as the east is to the west.... to be remembered no more...


Consider also the Apostle Paul. You may have had bad feelings towards Christians, but I doubt that you actively sought them out to kill them like Paul did. And as he did so, he felt he was doing God's will! If God can forgive Paul, a person who was busy going about murdering Christians when possible, he can forgive you. The thing is, there is only one sin that God says He won't forgive, and that is the sin against the Holy Spirit, and the way you are grieving over your sin, its easy to see that you haven't committed this sin, otherwise you would be reprobate, so hardened against God that you would feel no remorse for what you have done. That you feel great pain for what you have done is an AWESOME thing!!! Rejoice that you feel this pain!! Your pain is a gift from God..... for it means that God is drawing you near, and the nearer you get to Him, to His holiness, the more you will feel and despair over your sin. He has opened your eyes to your sinfulness and is offering salvation to you, you are hard after Him and God promises that if you seek Him it your whole heart, you WILL... not maybe, not possibly, not a 50/50 chance... you WILL find Him.... and frankly, it already sounds like you have.... or better yet, it seems more accurate to say He found you. Since He sought you out, you have been seeking Him, and that is the beginning..... you will seek and find, and yet, you will seek some more, and as you do, He will continue to reveal Himself to you through His word and through His people.


blessings,
Ken

Boanerges

You couldn't pay the price for you sins before,why do you think you have to pay now? Accept His forgiveness and have faith in His power to set you free! A gift of love cannot be purchased but must be accepted gracefully!It is by GRACE YOU ARE SAVED THRU FAITH not of works lest anyman could boast- we were helpless but He was willing!
Our heavenly Father loved YOU so much He sent His Son to die taking your place- that is a love without measure and He did it for You! God knew your sins past ,present and future- He still chose to pay the highest price for you, does that sound like He is holding a grudge? God is love and His nature is to heal, nourish and restore us. Sorrow over sin is a natural occurance in our lives and the conviction the Holy Spirit gives us is a sign that God is working in us to set us free from all that binds us, but He will not hold sins against us that have been washed away in Jesus blood and He is calling us to leave those things behind and go forward with Him.
Waslost what do you think God sees when He looks at you?
He see the righteousness of His Son, He see's the prodigal returning home- understand He has been watching and waiting for you everyday- waiting for His son to come home and His reaction is always the same- He runs to you arms open wide ready to lavish His love on you! The welcome home party has already started in heaven so let us join in brother!

Psa 103:10 He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
Psa 103:11 For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.
Psa 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
Psa 103:13 Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.
Psa 103:14 For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.
Psa 103:15 As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth.
Psa 103:16 For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more.
Psa 103:17 But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children;

You are loved here, you are accepted here, you are welcome here!

mustardseed

Dear brother, I'm deeply touched by your story. Jesus revealing Himself to you is already a sign of how much He loves you.

Don't fret over how you're going to be forgiven. You already are and now all you have to do is look ahead and live a fresh new life for God. He will help you do so. Continue your journey with His strength and love, and with ours too.

__________________
God grades on the cross, not the curve.

Boanerges

Waslost I thank God He makes it simple to be forgiven- Would you keep paying your car note 6 months after it was paid for? You cannot make yourself more loved and accepted by God for He has made the ultimate sacrifice to cancel your sin debt. Paul the Apostle spent is time trying to wipe out every man , women and child that called themselves Christian and God not only forgave him He used Paul to pen nearly 2/3's of the New Testament- it is a wonderful moment when you realize that God's gify of love is yours- accept it!

Boanerges

Waslost(but now you are found!) How are you doing? You are on my heart and in my prayers. Remember the joy of the LORD is your strength. Draw close and get filled- happiness can be determined by circumstance but joy is from God and flows like a river in your soul no matter what is happening around you- keep your mouth be filled with praise:

Phi 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.
Phi 4:5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
Phi 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
Phi 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Keep your focus on the Lord:
Phi 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Phi 4:9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

Have faith in God not in your circumstances:
Phi 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
Phi 4:12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

Do these things and you will see victory:
Phi 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Remember God knows you needs before you even ask:
Phi 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

And always keep this attitude in your heart
Jud 1:24 Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
Jud 1:25 To the only wise God our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.
HE IS ABLE TO KEEP YOU FROM FALLING- HE IS ABLE TO MAKE YOU HOLY AND ABLE TO COME INTO HIS PRESENCE- HE IS ABLE TO GIVE YOU EXCEEDING JOY- TO HIM BELONGS YOUR THOUGHTS ,YOUR LIFE AND YOUR PRAISE!
I will continue to lift you up in prayer my brother, stand strong in Him!

WasLost

I'm doing all right...thanks so much for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I've been a bit bold in replying to other threads over the past day. I'm apparently putting off a hostile vibe in my questioning. So much so that I'm causing some to wonder if I'm out to criticize or somehow discredit the bible. Because of this, I'm going to keep quiet for a while and concentrate on starting the New Testament and keep praying.

Perhaps things will be clearer to me in a few weeks...

WasLost

Boanerges

We are all learing togeather- don't be discouraged- I had a friend who asked some of the same questions as you- I was praying about this and God gave me a vision of Himself constantly and strenouosly reaching out and gathering in all that would come. It seemed as this was His whole focus and He held each one close as He picked them up! This is a loving God and His goal is always to seek and save that which was lost. You must understand He payed the ultimate price but will not force anyone to accept this choice. Love can only accept those who will come out of the same- those who come out of duty, tradition or habit will never know Him.

epistemaniac

Amen Boanerges!!! Your post brought to mind these comforting words from Jesus:

(Luke 19:10) For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost."

very applicable to "Waslost" I would say

and of course, at one time, applicable to everyone of us as well!!

blessings,
Ken