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Bondman · 04-15-2008, 03:20 AM

Message #47

RELATIONSHIPS

Part 1

I'm rather surprised I've not done a message on this major topic.

For a long time now I've said that relationships are the hardest thing on the planet! And the closer the relationship the harder it is! So husband and wife is the toughest, then parent to child and child to parent, and so on. The reason we struggle with relationships is quite simply our sinfulness where we are focused on #1 more than on others! This easily brings conflict, and the next minute we're sticking up - or fighting - for our point of view, or what we want! It's really all rather sad.

But there are some important things we can do to help. First, is the matter of GOODWILL. Goodwill means that we give the benefit of the doubt concerning what the other guy has said or done, i.e., if there's a bad way and a good way to take it, you choose the GOOD way. Makes sense, right. If BOTH parties make a pact to DO this, then a whole PILE of upsets can be avoided!

Which raises the second thing: it takes TWO to tango. That is, unless you are BOTH maintaining GOODWILL, then the relationship is either in deep trouble, or soon will be. I well remember a serious situation where I retained GOODWILL but the other person didn't. It took almost NO time for it to become patently obvious that my goodwill was having no effect whatever in maintaining that relationship! - so with great sadness I had to relinquish it...

The third one is COMMUNICATION. It still stuns me the proportion of people who seem blissfully aware that life simply cannot WORK without COMMUNICATING! - much less have any chance of WORKING well!! So talk! Speak! Speak up!! TELL your partner or friend or whoever, what you're thinking - AND feeling! Do this BEFORE it all blows up into an all-out barney! That is, if you don't talk about the problem, then it will very soon become A PROBLEM! So keeping the lines of communication open is arguably the very BEST way to retain goodwill, care, understanding and love!!!

continued...

- BM, with his Love

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04-15-2008, 03:20 AM	#545 (permalink)
Bondman Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia Posts: 573 Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 1	Message #47 RELATIONSHIPS Part 1 I'm rather surprised I've not done a message on this major topic. For a long time now I've said that relationships are the hardest thing on the planet! And the closer the relationship the harder it is! So husband and wife is the toughest, then parent to child and child to parent, and so on. The reason we struggle with relationships is quite simply our sinfulness where we are focused on #1 more than on others! This easily brings conflict, and the next minute we're sticking up - or fighting - for our point of view, or what we want! It's really all rather sad. But there are some important things we can do to help. First, is the matter of GOODWILL. Goodwill means that we give the benefit of the doubt concerning what the other guy has said or done, i.e., if there's a bad way and a good way to take it, you choose the GOOD way. Makes sense, right. If BOTH parties make a pact to DO this, then a whole PILE of upsets can be avoided! Which raises the second thing: it takes TWO to tango. That is, unless you are BOTH maintaining GOODWILL, then the relationship is either in deep trouble, or soon will be. I well remember a serious situation where I retained GOODWILL but the other person didn't. It took almost NO time for it to become patently obvious that my goodwill was having no effect whatever in maintaining that relationship! - so with great sadness I had to relinquish it... The third one is COMMUNICATION. It still stuns me the proportion of people who seem blissfully aware that life simply cannot WORK without COMMUNICATING! - much less have any chance of WORKING well!! So talk! Speak! Speak up!! TELL your partner or friend or whoever, what you're thinking - AND feeling! Do this BEFORE it all blows up into an all-out barney! That is, if you don't talk about the problem, then it will very soon become A PROBLEM! So keeping the lines of communication open is arguably the very BEST way to retain goodwill, care, understanding and love!!! continued... - BM, with his Love Click the graphic below to check out all previous Messages __________________ –––––––––––––– *» By His grace alone, Jesus is my all in all! «* • Destination: HEAVEN! Last edited by Bondman; 04-15-2008 at 03:03 PM.