There is hope for you yet brother. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. First things first- repent of what you are doing that you know or feel are displeasing- ask forgiveness and accept it. If you have done these things there is a only one thing that can keep you from closeness with God and that being a guilty conscience. God has prepared for this moment:
1Jn 3:20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.
You see brother God knew every sin you would ever commit , every mistake you would ever make, every time you would stumble and yet He still chose to save you out of His great love. We do not approach Him based of off our worthiness but instead come because Jesus took our sin and gave us His righteousness. You are loved and accepted and your Father is waiting on the roadside for the return of His beloved prodigal. Do not let anything keep you from the one thing you really need and that is God Himself. Any other desire or thought is deception and nothing in life will ever be right without Him having first place in your life.
As far as reading your bible simply do this: Beautiful , precious Holy Spirit Jesus said you were my teacher and helper please help me to understand the Word of God and how to help me apply it in my life. Lead me and I will follow, draw me and I will come. Reveal the Father's heart to me, reveal the mercy and love of Jesus to me. Thank You that You are not only able but You are more than willing, amen.
As far as your habits- we all struggle with something- the scripture plainly declares that in our flesh dwells no good thing. No matter how noble and wonderful our intentions may seem we cannot produce anything better than filthy rags. But if you are born again God has placed a new man inside of you. It is your job to feed that man and he will grow, blossom and bear fruit for the Kingdom of God. We do this through intimate fellowship, prayer, worship and spending time in the Word. We also do this by attending a church where the Spirit of God is moving. If you are doing these things will you be immune from temptation? No. But all you when tempted need do is call on the Name of Jesus, cry out and say Jesus be my strength and deliver me from this. Then you walk by faith trusting and believing that He is there helping you. It sounds simple doesn't it? Indeed He makes a straight path for us and we tend to complicate things. Each time you do this in an area of temptation the stronger you will find yourself and the less appealing that temptation.
Another thing that helps is this: When Jesus ascended He prayed that the Father would send His precious Holy Spirit to come to us. The same marvelous Spirit of God is with you every moment of every day. He loves you more than anyone and He walks with you longing to spend each moment in intimate relationship with you and yet for all practical purposes you ignore Him. Would you want to sin in front of God almighty? The same almighty God is with you continually- do we want to grieve Him? No, for He is the One who loves us most. So if we become conscience of the presence of the Living God being continually with us we will not want to dive into sin.
God's Word commands us to :
Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
This is a call to change the very way we think. We do this by taking the Word of God by faith and believing it more than anything we can see, hear, touch or feel. The Word of God is truth and anytime we are in disagreement with this Word as expressed by His heart we are in error and prone to stumble. The good news again is we have the Holy Spirit to help us with these things. It is Him we need to follow each step of our lives:
Rom 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
I am praying you surrender your life completely to Him. Many blessings and much love in Jesus Name, your brother Larry.