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Overall, she is a very good mother, a very good wife and we are delighted at that.
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That's a great plus point and if I was faced with this situation I would let the "stroller-thing" go. You pointed it out to them how you think about it. That should be enough and it's not worth the hassle to mess up a otherwise good situation for some money.
You also said she has ADHD, a disorder, which you should probably take in consideration.
Love them, pray for them and enjoy both grandchildren.