Dear brother, I'm deeply touched by your story. Jesus revealing Himself to you is already a sign of how much He loves you.
Don't fret over how you're going to be forgiven. You already are and now all you have to do is look ahead and live a fresh new life for God. He will help you do so. Continue your journey with His strength and love, and with ours too.
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God grades on the cross, not the curve.
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