Oooh...one of my favorites (cuz she was honest, he he he)
-"If you don't have anything nice to say, then come sit next to me!"
--was that Eleanor Roosevelt?
Makes me crack up every time.
I don't know who said these ones...
-"If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again...? It was probably worth it."
-"Always keep your words soft and sweet...just in case you have to eat them."
-"If you think nobody cares that you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
-"You are what you eat, so stay away from beef jerky."