Thank you for the reply. It's good to know there is somewhere I can turn!
I was raised in the Catholic Education System and have a fairly good grasp on Christianity and the Bible. I've read the King James Version several times from cover to cover and was greatly confused and disenchanted by all the contradictions and violence in the Bible. I found a great deal of beauty in the bible, but also a great deal of pain and guilt. It was my disenchantment with the bible and my Catholic Education that led me away from Christianity.
In my teens I searched for differnt perspectives on Christianity by attending different Churches and denominations...Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopalian. All of which had much of the same contradictions. I explored Buddhism, and even read the Torah and Koran. My inability to find meaning or comfort in any of it led me to a branch of Satanism which focused on the self as the only form of divinity. So I became a self-centered Satanist.
Now I feel completely lost. I have had this life-changing vision and no longer can accept my Satanic beliefs. The vision felt much like a calling from God, but it gave me no direction. I don't know what I can do.
I am taking your advice and going back to my bible. I am attempting prayer for the first time in over 10 years. God willing, I'll make it through this attonement and trial.
WasLost
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