Theophilus

Steve,

Draw from your memories, God blesses us in that our heart holds for us the good an important memories. Seek and hold to the positive things.
They are happy healthy and have families of their own there are plenty of reasons to be proud that you are their father. And When you make a sincere effert to get to know them again you will see what you knew in them as children has made them what they are today. Talk to them about things they did when they were children. Funny things, happy or embarrasing things. Personal things that revive that connection you all had before the tragidy struck. Saver the joy of making them laff and let them know that you are still here. The father they once knew and loved.
You do realize I hope that they also have guilt feelings about what happened. Every one does in a devorce, even the children. And they regret the things they did to you at their mothers direction as well. But remember that they were under her control and probibly did so more out of fear of loosing both parents than desire to hurt you.

The grandkids!! Those precous little ones. I guarentee that when you spend some time with them you will see your children when they were that age. Such a delight.

Grand kids are so great!! If I could have I would have had them first.

All the love and fun with praticaly none of the responcibility.

Yes it will take time ,but trust me it will be worth it. Every minute.

If there is any one thing on the face of this earth that can warm a cold heart or soften one made of stone it is the laffter of a child.

You want to fade the pain you now have to a memory? Then respond to your childrens willingness, and desire to restablish a relationship.

Beat your wife with love and caring. Accept and enjoy the children she tried to take away from you forever. Prove her wrong. Prove that you love them as much if not more than she. Don't bash her. (I say this knowing full well that it is not an easy thing to do) But show them that you bare no anger or malace tward her. Don't make them chose any longer. Avoid conflict and confrontation by arranging alternitve ways to share the good times. They will appreciate it and love you for it.

The best my father and I could ever do was be civil to each other. He died never realy knowing just how much I needed and loved him. It is a bond that never should be forsaken, a void that can never be filled by any other relationship.
Don't let this happen to you and yours.
I pray for much more for you and your children than that.

Even grown children need their parents. They still need and want your love and acceptance, Your judjment and advice. Your freindship and caring. What you pass on to them they will pass on to their children.
That is your legacy.

Sincerely His
Cliff