WWJ08,
I'm sorry that you're discouraged. I will make a point to pray for you, your husband, and your marriage this morning. Human relationships, sadly, are complicated and messy. Part of the problem is that you're dealing with another being with their own preceptions and will. I have read a number of books which say that if you will do thus and so, your husband will respond accordingly. While this
tends to be the case, a great many variables can throw this formula off. In short, your husband must also submit to the will of God for a Godly marriage to happen. It sounds to me like he has a lot of anger and resentment, despite his claim to have forgiven you, and this naturally causes one to resist the prompting of the Spirit and the wise guidance of others. Of course, I am only speculating on his state of mind, not having spoken to him or personally observed his behavior.
All you can really control is what
you do. Go to counseling alone, if he won't go. Continue to do all you know to be a Godly wife. Continue to rely on God for wisdom, perseverance, strength, and guidance. Know that God is aware of and pleased by your efforts to honor Him in your marriage, and you will not lose your reward. (
Galatians 6:9)
This is what I shall pray for you: That God will deal with your husband even into the deepest, darkest nooks and crannies of his heart and mind, breaking down his resistance and turning his heart back to you. That God will comfort you in your distress. That God will bring about a reconciliation and restoration which brings about a union which will glorify Him and be an inspiration to others. I am praying these things even now, as I post.