I completely agree that you don't have to lust for a person physically but emotionally can be just as damaging.
I just finished one of my daily site devotionals/Fod for thought... I hope that it can be of benefit for someone here:
http://www.tsgcomputers.net/forum/index.php?topic=277.0
Communication is key to a thriving and good marriage, or to any relationship in that matter. If you do not have compassion for each toehrr during the beginning of your unity, the marriage can fall apart like a ton of bricks... literally. It has the same effect on the mind, body, heart, soul and spirit. If you do not work together to understand each other, you won't make it. How can you have a marriage without goals? How can you have a marriage with you love? God is love? Therefore how can you have a marriage with God at the heart of it. God is like the glue between you and your spouce, if God isn't there, there is no unity between you two.
I would keep going but then you all would have a book on your hands...
God bless,
Johnathan