walkwithjesus08,
Wow....reading this stirs my soul. This is nearly exactly what I am going through with my wife at the moment. I am afraid God has given her over to her seared/dulled conscience though. She pushed separation 2 1/2 months ago to get her ex to stop avoiding her, and he did. They are still in an adulterous relationship and it doesn't seem to bother either of them.
My advice: Stay close to the Lord and listen to the conscience He has given you. If you ignore it, it will become dulled and seared over and eventually the Lord will give you over to your sin. I have told my wife that I have forgiven her and that I want her to come back to me so we can be a family with our kids again. She is now about to leave the house and look for an apartment since the place I have been staying is about to sell. Please, you must also forgive yourself and ask the Lord for forgiveness to get past this. I will earnestly pray for you and your husband as I can't bear to see this happen to another family.
A good resource about the conscience is at:
http://www.intouch.org
Dr. Stanley's last 3 or 4 sermons have been about this topic. Just go to the broadcast link and check out his sermons for October.
PM me if you like more info.
May God bless you and your family,
Charlie