For the loooooongest time, I felt way down. I'd pick up the bible and read, but all I'd see was messages of wrath and doom. I'd pray, but it seemed like there was a big wall between me and Jesus and no matter how much I cried or screamed, He couldn't hear me. I was so sad, sometimes I'd cry for seemingly no reason. God gifted me with a new house (there was a time when I actually lived homeless, just after college...so this was a big blessing to me), but I coudn't smile. I got a raise and promotion at work, but I was still sad.
I talked to my pastor about it, and he assured me that Jesus could hear me through that wall, even if I whispered. My pastor also told me to go to the clinic and get a physical. Besides tending to my spiritual needs, he said, I needed to tend to my physical well being.
The doctor prescribed anti-depressants. I don't know how some folks feel about these (especially those who have never needed anti-depressants before in their life), but as someone whose brain chemical balance was out of whack...I can tell you, they made a difference!
Within a matter of weeks, the sky became blue again, the light was bright, my world exploded into colors and sounds and laughter. Jesus was with me all along...but because things were out of whack chemically, my body felt like it was alone.
Today, I don't need those medications anymore...things are back in balance. I like to think that Jesus really did hear me through that wall, and that he guided me to seek advice from my pastor, who sent me to the doctor.
Just my two pennies
