Charlie,
you are so kind hearted but BookWorm is right.
Your wife is thinking of no one but herself.
She'll gladly allow you to help her, but don't think she wouldn't try to run you through the wringer if you crossed her the wrong way!
I believe that in God's eyes you have been very compassionate and far too understanding of her behavior.
It is time to protect yourself now, not your wife who is being very selfish.
Please don't allow yourself to look back and wish you had taken action sooner!
Many blessings to you and may God keep His loving protection around you and your children.