Suzie,
This is a very difficult problem to get a good understanding of. First, let me state that I am a Christian School principal. Second, my wife works with an organization that funds projects around the world, particularly in third world countries. She was recently in Africa and talks with people from around the world on a regular basis. (Her boss is in England and we live in PA, USA.)
Now, from a Christian School principals perception - we must set boundaries. Everyone loves to be critical of those boundaries, but absent of such boundaries everyone is angry! Everyone wants our Christian children to be conservative, but few are willing to teach, train and uphold boundaries. In my 20 years in Christian schools I have never had a group of high school students who have not complained about dress codes, not matter how lenient they are! It seems to be a developmental stage high school students go through. Not wanting limits in general.
Second, when we as American Christians go overseas, we are perceived as very "loose" and "sensual." Very short shorts are often viewed as a sign that a young lady is "advertising" that she is willing to have consensual sexual relations. This is not true in the US and much of Europe, but it is still true elsewhere. When my daughters have traveled to South America they have been required to wear very long wrap around skirts (which by the way they have reported are cooler than shorts or pants!)
Finally, I have learned over 20 plus years of working with students, that your friend may or may not be relaying to you how the "short rule" was or was not presented to her. What you have heard is most likely what she took away from the presentation, but it may not be - likely is not - what was presented. Your job as friend should be to encourage her to understand the rule and figure out how to live within the rule or make a proper appeal.
Hope that helps. I know a missionary who did work with Muslims for years. She told me that it was easier to raise Christian kids where there were less choices. When her family returns to the States she feels like all she does is say "no, no, no." "No" to certain movies and TV and music and clothes and statements and gestures, etc.
God bless,
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