NoDoubt

Thanks everyone! Your words are very encouraging. I've been reading through this forum and I'm so encouraged to find a place full of mature Christians that share my beliefs. I don't consider myself a "mature Christian" nor a baby, but rather more like an "adolescent Christian".

The_apostle_John -
Am I wrong to buy sunless tan lotions in an attempt to minimize angry stares? I've been an outcast my whole life, but moreso now than ever. I'll never change what I believe because of others, but I'm making a tremendous effort to change how I look (which does have health benefits).

Having people on this forum to talk to will be a wonderful and valuable experience

I don't tithe traditionally in the way of 10% at church. I do tithe in a sense that I feel God approves of, though, and my giving is not contingent upon whether or not I can afford it

That really struck a chord in me. I guess the only thing I'm able to do at the moment is endure. At least I think that's what I'm supposed to do. I guess I'll just endure my uncertainty for the time being and see where I end up.

By the way - I think body, soul, and spirit are the 3 parts of a person. When I say my soul screams for escape, I mean my earthly thought process wants me to go get booze, but my will - my spirit - helps me resist, overcoming my soul. The body, I believe, is the hormones, urges, and all that physical stuff. The soul, I believe, is all the head stuff, thought, emotion, and the primary plane on which our consciousness operates. The spirit, I believe, is the willpower, the part of us that battles what we know in our minds is not of God, our conscience, the eternal part Our earthly thoughts and emotions are so heavily influenced by hormones, chemicals, and even the food we eat, I don't think our current perception is simply going to be transferred to heaven. I think we will be completely different in heaven.

But that's a tangent for another time, sorry.

I prayed that prayer, and recently began actively seeking a church. I was hoping to find a Christian friend at church. I don't know where LA Christians hang out... And I've had no luck finding Christians online in a year and a half of trying. The one "Christian" I found online was so far off, theologically, I gave up on him fearing him more harm than good.

I can't fast 100%, as my body functions very poorly without nourishment. I do, however, eat a healthy, balanced, low calorie diet, and exercise daily. I've been praying more and more. I know God hears me, but it's very difficult for me to remain persistent in my prayers. It's like I know what I need to do, and I only get angry with myself for failing to do these things.

I'm here as a result of my continuing effort to learn, grow, and not give up! I want nothing more than to do what God wants me to, but I need help! The wonderful people of this forum seem willing, and I am very appreciative



Violet -
I was miserable in Michigan, I'd rather have died than continue living there. When an oppurtunity arose for me to move to CA, I took it without hesitation, simply to get away from MI. It seems whenever God wants me somewhere, he makes it VERY clear and rather easy, even, to go there.

I can't afford to go where I fit, and no doors have been opened for me to even try.

I can't be proud of being white. I can be proud despite being short, because no one will think I'm anti-tall because of this. The instant I give anyone the impression I'm proud of being white, however, I'm likely to get jumped. Many people around here just hate white people.


IOACW - you have a PM

Thanks again, everyone. So I guess I'm just going to stick it out, for now, and keep on enduring until God opens a door for me.