The first thing to remember is that God is LOVE - (and Jesus is surely the proof to this). We are forgiven when we repent of our sins and failings. You have been forgiven through Jesus, and the sign that you have His forgiveness will be / is the showing of your LOVE pouring from your heart.
We all fail, including myself (quite often when my guard is down), and stepping out in LOVE is often very hard - but the joy of hugging those we truly love is surely a heaven sent wonderful experience.
I hope this helps and my prayers are with you during this difficult time.
You can always send a pm
Beaux Reflets
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