Yvo,
I've been in the exact situation your boyfriend is in right now. He wants to quit, but can't control anything on his own. No man can...it's impossible on our own. But, if He learns to rely on the Holy Spirit, he can learn to live sexually pure.
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So as far as accountability from other men, I don't know if that is possible. He also insists that it's not a real problem and he can stop, and he usually does for some time, but then it creeps up on him again as he bumps into things. I told him that he can be open and honest with me and I won't get mad, but I'm his girlfriend, so I'm not so sure how open he really will be, you know? Any thoughts? Thank you!
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He can be as open and honest with you as possible, but he needs a male accountability partner. Some parts of this struggle are so male-oriented that no woman can truly understand this battle. This is nothing against you personally, please don't take it that way, it's just like there are plenty of emotional issues a fellow sister can understand in ways we men cannot. I urge him to check out some other forums if he's not interested in finding a local support group, he needs to find somewhere to share the struggle with others. We can't post links here, but just Google "Every Man's Battle" and you'll find plenty.
I'm leading a study of "Every Man's Battle" in my church right now and am going through it myself for the second time. It's so enlightening and from the perspective of men that have "been there and done that". The effect it's had on me is remarkable and I can see God at work in the lives of other men in the group. I encourage you to read it with him.
One word or warning though...discussing sexual issues in detail before marriage, no matter how pure the motives, can lead to awfully tempting situations. Be sure not to tread into waters that can lead to sexual sin of another sort...this is another reason that he really needs a male to discuss things with.
Good luck and God bless.