Last year I made my dad cry cuz I told him he’s a horrible person and I hate him. Until this day I still regret saying it. He’s the best person in the world and he has supported me in everything that I wanted to do. I love him so much I would take a bullet for him.
You need to talk to your dad and tell him this. I'm sure there have been times in his life (as there have for most of us) when he has said things that he didn't mean, and that he has regreted intensely afterward. Approach him humbly, tell him you're sorry for what you said and that you didn't really mean it - that it was just in the heat of the moment. Tell him what you really feel, and how much he means to you.
Definitely seek out someone who can counsel with you and sort through your issues. Particularly you need to start seeing yourself as a worthwhile person. As long as you see yourself as a hopeless loser, you will behave like one. Remember, the value of something is the price someone is prepared to pay for it - and the price God was prepared to pay for you was the death of His Son!
Don't give in to thoughts of self-destruction. You can come through this. Take hold of God and don't let go.
blessings,
Lynn
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