Originally Posted by Faithwoman

Dear Christian Online Family,
First of all thank you all so much for your prayers and support.
I will give you the quick version.
He came over last nite, to help with things around the house, we had dinner, then sat down for coffee on the patio. I prayed and prayed, my stomach was in knots. I beat him with (verbally) with issues that I felt he still had. I asked him how much he loved Jesus.. etc.. anyway I told him that I felt God was leading me to letting him go. That I needed to give him to the Lord.. long conversation. I told him that I loved him.. he did not reply. I walked him to his car.. he said I love you, I said I love you so much.. he said I know that.. anyway. .. waking up this morning it was still unsettled. I went to a church meeting in a town 1/2 hour away.. prayed alot and thought alot.

He did not call, but I called him.. I apologized for beating him up with a 2/4 verbally.. said I was sorry for judging him.. but I was letting him go. Yes there was issues on his part, and there was issues on my part. I told him that for 2 people to be together, God had to have the muck cleaned out of their lives. I needed to be with God. I needed not to have anyone in my life right now except the Lord. I need to seek God's will for my life. I need to have the Lord continue to heal me of the past pain. I have to continue to learn about the Lord . I need to continue to learn about obedience etc..

There is the short version. I must say.. I THANK ALL OF YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, BUT SPECIAL THANKS TO BONDMAN FOR NEVER GIVING UP ON ME. FOR GIVING ME GOD'S WORD AND REMINDING ME IN HIS EVER GENTLE, SOMETIMES STRONG EMAILS (BECAUSE THE LORD SHOWED HIM WHAT TO SAY TO ME).
Bondman wrote:

But if you are to the point where you really, really want to do it - then why are you so determined TO DO IT THE HARDEST POSSIBLE WAY?

He encouraged me to write and say it is finished, it is over. I chose to call. There were good parts of this relationship and bad parts as with any.

I can tell you, yes I have bawled like a baby since hanging up, but now I do feel peace. The Lord is my comforter. He will provide for me. I just have to trust him.

Bondman, may you know the Lord has blessed you with a special gift, I don't know what the Lord has planned for you , but please know and rejoice with me and the Lord in this FINALLY happening. If we all could just save one person from a life of hurt and pain, would it not be worth it to put it all out there? I encourage each and everyone of you, to go forth and be shining light to others.

I have been stripped of many things in the last 2 months, removed from my old town, my friends, my church, my family , the man I love. However in the same time I was blessed with a new job, a beautiful home, meeting new friends.. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY.. I AM RIGHT WHERE THE LORD WANTS ME .. WITH HIM AND TRUSTING IN HIM.

LOVE
FAITHWOMAN